


Rules of the Kadic Dormitory

by X59



Category: Code Lyoko
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/F, F/M, M/M, Not Code Lyoko Evolution Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 64,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/X59/pseuds/X59
Summary: It started with Jim wanting to know who damaged a wall and began to take a life on it's own. Here are the rules established by those living at Kadic.
Relationships: Jeremie Belpois/Aelita Schaeffer, Matthieu Ducrocq/Thomas Jolivet, Principal Delmas/Nicole Weber, Sissi Delmas/Samantha Knight, Yumi Ishiyama/Ulrich Stern
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

A few people stopped and just stared at the small doll that was nailed to the wall. The doll that had blond hair that stood straight up with a purple spot, though that oddity did not catch the attention of the group of boys. No what grabbed their attention were the pins and needles that pierced the doll throughout its entire body. After staring for what seemed like hours the group turned as one to one of their companions.

"Odd…," Ulrich Stern began hesitantly, "What did you do?" However even as he began to speak he found his eyes flipping between the doll that was nailed to one of the walls near their shared room in the dormitory and his best friend. His fellow companions likewise joined him in switching between the doll and their friend, though Thomas Jolivet seemed more interested in the doll than his friend for some reason.

Odd Della Robbia in turn looked at his friend and asked," What makes you think I did something?!" As one his friends stared at him flatly, except Thomas whose eyes widened as if something clicked while staring at the doll. "Oh come on! Someone created a voodoo doll of me and nails to a wall and I'm the bad guy?!" A few of the boys shifted a bit, even as Ulrich continued to stare at his friend and Thomas's found his lips twitching. "Why I'm an innocent vict-"

"Claire made this," Thomas's voice cut in even as he began to laugh, "I didn't even know that she had it in her. Then again you did date her and Magali at the same time." At once Odd stopped and reflected on how Claire Girard and Magali de Vasseur were rather pissed at him once they found out that little detail he hid while dating them. At the same time the other boys looked to the doll and then Odd once again and Ulrich couldn't help but comment "I think she's mad at you." At that comment the others laughed at the understatement.

"Yeah. Though" Matthew Ducrocq began a bit nervously, "I think it would be a good idea for you not to repeat that." With another stare at the voodoo doll the teenager continued, "After all Magali slapped you and Claire…yeah" Matthew trailed off as he just gestured with his finger. "Right…. I'll get right on that." Odd replied while the others looked at the doll.

"What are you guys doing?" Jim couldn't help blink at the sight that met his eyes. A group of teenage boys who looked prepared to play baseball, staring at a voodoo of one of their friends in a sense of fascinated horror, while said friend looked a little pale and a bit lost on how to proceed. At the sound of his voice the group blinked looked at him, commented that they going to play baseball, and since none of them felt inclined to tattle (either to hidden amusement or fear) Jim was left with the feeling it one of Odd's ex-girlfriends who vandalized school property.

After removing doll and fixing the wall, Jim found himself a bit lost on which of Odd's ex-girlfriend would do such a thing. After some thought he decided to employ a tactic his commanding officer did in the army to get the point across. The next morning the students were rather surprised to find a list posted on the dormitory wall when they left to go to classes.

_Don't make a voodoo doll of you ex and nail it to a wall._

From there it doesn't take long for the story to get out though the boys still don't tattle which they promise themselves has nothing to do with the way Claire smiles at them. To Jim's disappoint the trick doesn't reveal who was behind it, but does create what the students would refer to the list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and the others are real characters from the show they just tend to be in the background. This was inspired by the Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic "Supplemental Rules and Regulations."


	2. Chapter 2

There was a beat of silence as a few heads to see a panicking Ulrich running away from a furious Yumi. Their confusion only lessened when a chuckling Odd walked up to the list Jim had started and added a new rule.

_Do not teach young boys how to fight without the permission of their families._

Ulrich, in his infinite wisdom, decided to teach Hiroki and Johnny pencak silat, which Johnny learned easier than Hiroki. This however caused a minor rivalry which Ulrich decided was no big deal, a decision he would come to regret. Wanting to impress his idol and be better than Johnny Hiroki decided to practice home and through a series of events broke his family’s TV, Yumi’s favorite chair, and his right arm. Takeho was not amused and Yumi less so.

Ulrich nursing his bruised head would like it to be known that he has learned his lesson and stopped trying to teach pencak silat much to Hiroki’s and Johnny’s disappointment.

#

_It was not somebody! It was you three and that song will end!_

Odd, Theo and Emily found out that Herb did not appreciate the song that never ends, much to their disappointment.

#

_Being on the Soccer Team does not mean you don’t need shots._

Jim was rather unimpressed with that argument and further unimpressed when he discovered every member of his soccer team was afraid of needless.

#

_If you are not dating her/him don’t get mad when someone asks said person on a date._

Mathias did not appreciate Ulrich and William death glaring at him when he asked Yumi on a date. She said no but it still didn’t stop Ulrich and William being pissed and Mathias getting annoyed enough with their glares to start a fight.

Mathias and William maintain that they beat the other and don’t count Ulrich because he ran. The rest of the student body maintain that if anyone won between the three of them it was Ulrich for running when he saw Yumi and Yumi was the victor of the fight itself.

For the record Mathias did not write the rule, it was Emmanuel who was annoyed with the drama.

#

_You are not allowed to laugh at your friend’s pain._

This rule was written Mathias who did not appreciate Emmanuel laughing at him for his black eye and when he saw the rule Emmanuel just laughed harder.

Mathias pouted in response.

#

_Ulrich Stern will go on a date with Sissi Delmas_

“It’s a rule Ulrich dear,” Sissi said with a smirk her eyes laughing.

“You are not funny,” Ulrich was heard to have responded.

#

_Return it now and I won’t ask any questions._

One of Ulrich’s fan girls had stolen his favorite jacket, it was soon returned neat and proper.

It didn’t stop him from washing it though.

#

_Stop with the smile!_

A lot of students are confused are about this because the boys are still not telling and Claire just laughs.

#

_Ulrich Stern is forbidden from telling stories to younger students._

“Oh come on,” Ulrich snapped, “It’s not my fault.”

“Ulrich,” Aelita reminded him, “they ended up crying by the end of your story and are having nightmares.”

“It’s not my fault! They asked for it!” Ulrich couldn’t help but snap because he was getting sick and tired of being lectured about traumatizing Milly, Hiroki, and the others.

Jeremy actually paused from typing to look over at Ulrich and a leveled look at him. “Don’t even Einstein,” Ulrich growled, “They asked me for a scary story….How was I suppose to know it was going to freak them out that much.”

The looks he received were less than impressed, causing him to sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

_Stop me calling Deidara!_

Matthew’s tendency to end his sentences with yeah, combined with his fondness for art caused a few of his friends to jokingly call him Deidara. At first it wasn’t too bad but after accidentally causing an explosion in science it became widespread.

Matthew was getting increasingly agitated about the whole thing, his friends laughing at him amazingly enough did not help.

#

_You can’t strangle someone because they don’t follow a rule._

Odd decided to take the rule as a suggestion and Matthew was for more irritated about it than everyone knew.

#

_Time devoted to pranking, could be devoted to studying._

Mrs. Hertz, while secretly enjoying Odd’s pranks here and there, was rather annoyed that he focused more attention on them then his school work.

#

_Yolande is not a demoness who takes joy in the suffering of innocent children._

_Jim is not a heartless monster who wishes to feed on your fear._

_You all needed those shots and Jim was there to make sure you got them!_

Yolande was too busy laughing to be offended, Jim just sort of sighed while face palming and muttering about stupid brats, and Mr. Delmas was just too flabbergasted about the way his school’s soccer responded to getting shots.

Mr. Delmas unwittingly inspired a few people to activity get three rules on the list after seeing the Kadic Soccer Team get two.

#

_The grandfather paradox is not a thing and all jokes about it will stop now!_

An ancestry project revealed to his friendsthat Jeremy looked like his grandfather and naturally the jokes ensured. Jeremy was able to take the jokes in stride at first until Aelita innocently asked how Jeremy could look his grandfather and Odd jokingly said he time traveled and boned his grandmother.

Jeremy went from placid to disgusted/furious in five seconds and the school was treated to the rare sight of Jeremy Belpois actually running as he tried to strangle Odd.

#

_Laughing is not way to respond when someone attempts to strangle your best friend._

Odd was rather miffed about how Ulrich just pointed and laughed when Matthew and Jeremy went after him.

He was swore revenge when Ulrich laughed harder at the rule.

#

_No…just no….go to your room and think about you did…_

Jim is just flustered and Bastien smirks.

#

_The proper response to a fight is not to start a bet on who will win._

It turned that Hiroki and Johnny decided to continue training in secret and a practice session ended up turning into a brawl.

Yumi was rather unimpressed with Xavier’s reaction to finding them fighting and Hiroki and Johnny were grounded under Yumi’s stern glare.

#

_It was not awesome and it never happened!_

As Emily rounded the corner she end tripping a bit and accidentally lock lipped with Naomi. Christopher who had came to ask Naomi on a date declared that it made of awesomeness.

Emily and Naomi can’t look each other for a week without blushing and Christopher did forget to ask Naomi out.

#

_When telling scary stories, please use common sense and keep the age of your audience in mind._

A deadpanned stare was the response that a smirking Odd received after writing the new rule. “What’s wrong buddy? Oh… don’t look at me like that; I’m helping you by reminding you. After all if you don’t learn from this then you could end up repeating the mistake and traumatizing your own future kids.”

A few people who wondered nearby to see what was going on snorted at that, knowing that this was Odd’s payback on Ulrich. Ulrich himself, after a few moments, calmly and coolly stated, “You do know that this means war.”


	4. Chapter 4

_Always knock before entering._

Sissi was horrified to discover her father and his secretary, Nicole Weber, making out when she barged into his office. Everyone else is shocked that they didn’t see coming and wish they didn’t have any details.

_#_

_All newspaper articles must be approved by the faculty before publication._

_Purposely eavesdropping on conversations is wrong._

_Accidents happen and you can’t prove anything._

While Principal Delmas was a rather private person and did not appreciate his personal life shared around campus, his romantic life was not the reason this rule was created. In fact he wasn’t involved at all expect to approve Jim’s requests when Ulrich wrote the rules.

Ulrich refuses to explain when asked, Milly and Tamiya stay silent and simply report that an accident broke their camera, and the Kadic Soccer Team smirk at one another.

#

_We only need one, maybe two, of them and they should not go off on Sundays!_

Odd did not appreciate fifteen alarm clocks going off on a Sunday morning and subsequently vowed vengeance. Ulrich laughing at him and going into detail about how Odd screamed like a little girl did not help matters.

#

_Don’t lock people in closets._

Wanting to help his friend William, Christopher decided to lock William and Yumi into a closet. Unfortunately for Christopher’s plan Yumi was unamused and proceeded to smack William upside the head, despite his protests that he was innocent, and kick Christopher in the shin.

#

_Don’t blast your music and listen to something new._

Tristan swore that if he heard anything by Papa Roach one more time, he would punch Emilio in the face.

#

_There are no such as a zombies._

_Do not encourage him!_

After the seventh time of Matthew hearing about Paul’s dream in which zombies rose and attacked Kadic, Matthew threatened to duct tape his and anyone who asked Paul about his dream mouths shut.

#

_Permission to throw someone out a window will never be given._

Kelly and Sophie started fighting over their favorite pairings in a soap opera and Valeria was rather upset that Jim didn’t let her throw the pair out of said window when it got too much.

#

_DON”T TOUCH OR USE MY COMPUTER!_

Jeremy went from confusion on why his computer was on to stunned mortification when he turned on his computer screen. The older students giggle and laugh at his red face and they laugh harder when he splutters after Aelita asks him what’s wrong.

#

_Please no “that’s what she said” jokes._

Aelita didn’t particularly find them funny and got rather tired of hearing them.

#

_Let me make this clear that song will not be hummed, sung, tapped, drummed etc…_

Herb really did hate the song that never ends.

#

_The Kadic Soccer Team will not be left unsupervised during away games._

Jim decided to let the boys explore the town for a bit after winning the game, as long as they promised to travel with a companion. By the time the boys came back to leave Jim found out that each group were banned from going into different shops and that all of them were banned from the town’s local mall.

Jim honestly doesn’t want to know what they did and the boys really don’t want their parents, friends, classmates, and Jim to realize they had a bet going on.

Milly and Tamiya giggling at them was bad enough.


	5. Chapter 5

_I did not pick my room, so please stop with the rumors._

A couple of people found it suspicious that Thomas lived in the same wing as the girls, considering Jeremy’s lack of a room mate and that Ulrich was briefly roommate less before acquiring Odd.

By dinner that night it was whispered that Thomas was secretly a girl, in the witness protection program, had magic powers to get his way, gay, was an assassin hired by Principal Delmas to safeguard his daughter, a pervert, or that he was filthily rich and bribed the school.

#

_Some people are better able to handle having a roommate than others._

It’s Jeremy’s only explanation as to why he doesn’t and will most likely never get a roommate.

#

_Don’t mess with my hair!_

Odd’s payback involved putting green hair dye in Ulrich’s shampoo. Odd said it was appropriate given Ulrich’s usual wear and pouted when Ulrich refused to come out of the bathroom until he successfully washed the dye out.

It didn’t stop him from getting a picture and Milly and Tamiya convincing a teacher to include in the paper with great relish. The girls then quietly told Ulrich that they were even.

#

_When speaking a foreign language make sure it’s one that others don’t know._

Bastien and Theo were tossing insults to one another in Russian and were surprised when Emily began laughing. They were even further surprised when Ms. Hertz gave the both of them detention for cursing.

#

_When in doubt slap yourself and it is doesn’t wake you up then what you are seeing is actually happening._

Ms. Hertz will admit to writing this without shame because she was stunned at the sight of Ulrich teaching Caroline how to speak Turkish.*

#

_You can’t bribe adults._

Rosa was too amused by Ulrich’s attempt to bribe her to let it be known he was the cause of the rule.

#

_There is a time and place for practicing._

_There are better ways for waking people up._

Herb did not appreciate waking up to Nicholas playing the drums.

#

_There will be no triad of any kind you perverts!_

As a joke Emmanuel suggested that instead of picking that Yumi, Ulrich, and William could all date each other. All three acted disturbed by the suggestion but Yumi privately admitted to herself that the thought of Ulrich and William together was hot.

Hearing about the joke Odd couldn’t help but ask Ulrich what he would think of an Ulrich, Yumi, and Sissi triad. Ulrich punched Odd in the shoulder in response and blushed a deep red.

#

_Don’t pervert the language._

Yolande was reluctantly impressed and decided to not give Naomi and Tania detention.

#

_You are not a Jedi and will you do your homework._

Ms. Hertz was only slightly amused when Tristan tried to Jedi trick her into not giving out homework over the week end.

#

_It’s rude to speak a language you friends don’t understand._

Yumi for reasons she will refused to admit too was seriously annoyed at finding Ulrich and Sissi conversing with one another in German.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to the Code Lyoko Wiki the episode “Déjà vu” reveals that Thomas Jolivet lives in the girl’s dormitories. This either means that the dormitory is not segregated as initially thought or a mistake could have been made.


	6. Chapter 6

_The game is rock-paper-scissors, not rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock!_

Theo vowed to never be bored enough to play with Herb and Nicholas again.

#

_Never laugh like that again._

Paul was having nightmares after witnessing a green haired Ulrich laugh like the Joker. While Ulrich insists he laughed in disbelief and shock, Paul maintains that it was one of the scariest things he witnessed in his whole life.

#

_Permission to toss someone out the window will never be given, we already went over this._

Jim was quick to threaten Theo and Bastien with another detention if either one of them asked again.

#

_I’m not Austin Powers and you are not Dr. Evil._

Jeremy was reluctantly amused by Yumi swerving around in his chair and claiming she was waiting for him. In fact he only wrote the rule because he can’t stand that damn cat and he really doesn’t want to know where Yumi keeps getting it.

For her part, Yumi thinks Jeremy’s insistence that the cat wants to eat his soul is hilarious.

#

_I know what you were playing and it was not Go-Fish._

Jim really wants to know who decided to teach the Kadic Soccer Team poker and he is reluctantly impressed with their skills to keep silent about the matter.

Jim privately tells himself it has nothing to do with them promising to help him in the future when they can legally enter casinos.

#

_Mr. Stern please apply such dedication to your studies, instead of …vengeance._

Under the guise of conceding their little prank war Ulrich offered to teach Odd Turkish so that he could woo Caroline, who was seen talking in the language and expressing a fondness for it. However to Odd's surprise instead of blushing as he intended, Caroline smirked instead and proceeded to drag him off into the woods for a romantic walk.

Odd was understandably shocked when in the middle of the walk a bucket of pudding landed on his head and only snapped out of it when he heard Ulrich laughing from above. It took Caroline and Mr. Delmas, who arrived after hearing an enraged scream, holding Odd back to allow Ulrich to climb down the tree and run to their sanctuary of their dorm.

Ulrich maintains the detention was worth it, Odd swore to win the prank war, and Mr. Delmas was just grateful that the boys have some sense of boundaries when it comes to pranks in the dorm room because he honestly feels that they would destroy it otherwise.

Caroline and Sissi are just debating on how to use the favors that Ulrich owes them.

#

_There are no just things as talking babies in the mafia._

Matthew did not believe Paul’s insistence that he saw a baby in the fedora talking and hearing it claim to be the world’s greatest hitman.

#

_Do not corrupt the innocent._

Valerie found Aelita’s innocent enduring and thus joined forces with Yumi when some of the other girls decided to enlighten Aelita through the use of certain websites. Said girls maintain that they were sharing the wealth, Yumi and Valeria see it as corruption and Aelita can’t look at any of the guys around her without blushing due to thinking certain things.

Jeremy for the first time laments that Aelita always turns to him when she blushingly asks him about Yaoi.

#

_Foamy is not the way of life and no one here will join the “Foamy Card Cult.”_

While Emilio watched the foamy videos and finds them hilarious, it did not stop him from becoming extremely annoyed at Xavier for trying to get him to join the Foamy Card Cult.

#

_Think before you speak._

_Certain questions should not be asked._

Sissi did not appreciated being asked when Nicole Weber would become her step mother. The questions did nothing but remind her of walking in on them. However being the devious child she is, she uses the question to her advantage and cashes in on Ulrich’s favor in order to snuggle him as she dealt with the “traumatic flashback” the questioning caused her.

Ulrich is reluctantly impressed and Yumi looks like she wants to strangle someone, most likely Sissi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the baby hitman thing is a Katekyo Hitman Reborn reference.
> 
> To anyone who wants to bear witness to the awesomeness of Foamy head over to Ill will press.com


	7. Chapter 7

_John Smith and Donna Noble are not married._

The inspectors from the education department were quick to gain popularity among the students and after the seventh time being asked, the Doctor couldn’t help but give in to the madness that was Kadic.

#

_Some things are bigger on the inside._

Apparently Donna couldn’t resist either.

#

_The dorm rooms are sanctuaries, regardless of what ever beef you have your roommate._

Ulrich objected violently when he woke up to Odd about to shave his head with a razor. The brief fight caused the razor to fall out of Odd’s hands and shave the end of Kiwi’s tail, which caused Kiwi to yelp and bite the both of them to show his displeasure.

#

_Jim is the highlander._

It’s the only explanation Tristan has for Jim having so many jobs prior to Kadic.

#

_The kitchen will only be used by faculty._

While Rosa thought it was sweet that Lola wanted to make something personal for Tristan’s birthday, she had to put her foot down due to the fact that Lola had a tendency to burn almost anything she cooked.

It was somewhat legendary.

#

_Don’t be a sore winner._

_Don’t be sore loser_

Pierre’s gloating over winning the racing game and Tristan’s grumblings from coming in third place caused Emilio to snap and somehow leap at the both of them. Where upon things naturally dissolved from there.

#

_Faction pride is one thing, but this is taking it to all whole another level._

As he watches Thomas and Jean-Baptiste talking about getting tattoos with the Horde and Alliance crests, respectively, in the future Matthew somewhat regrets getting the two into World of Warcraft.

#

_Please stop singing, you’ll wake the dead and the zombies will devour us all!_

Anais is a horrible singer and yet persists to sing, much to everyone’s horror.

#

_There will be no cosplay!_

Matthew was initially intrigued by the thought of cosplay before opening his ideal outfit from his friends and discovered an Akatsuki cloak with an eye scope for his left eye.

Suffice to say Matthew was not amused and his friends were struck without mercy.

#

_No…just….stop with that song….please._

Herb was just so stunned at hearing the song that never ends being burped, of all things, that he just gave up.

#

_Don’t take someone cloths when their showering!_

Ulrich was mortified when he had to walk back towards his dorm with nothing but a towel warped around him. The wolf whistles/looks he received from the girls he encountered caused him to blush a deep red by the time he got to his room and found his clothes on his bed and Odd nowhere in sight.

#

_ Bow ties are cool. _

_ Frenzies are cool. _

**_No they’re really not._ **

_ Yes they are! _

**_No they are not!_ **

_ Yes! _

**_No!_ **

_ Yes! _

**_No!_ **

**_ Sorry about this! _ **

No one at Kadic ever did figure out the story behind that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor couldn’t resist and just had to come back and Rory has some mad skills to get the Doctor and Amy back in the TARDIS before they took over a whole page.  
> In case anyone didn’t realize.
> 
> _ Eleven _
> 
> **_Amy_ **
> 
> **_ Rory _ **


	8. Chapter 8

_Stop rapping; no one wants to hear it… and stop pouting._

Julien was rather miffed that no one appreciated his rapping skills, everyone was just grateful he stopped.

It was also decided that he and Anais should never be allowed to join forces.

#

_For future references, make sure to read aloud what you write so you don’t skip a word._

It’s definitely one of the teachers but no one recognizes the writing. This doesn’t stop Ulrich and Odd from blaming one another for the missing word though.

#

_You are not a ninja._

_You are not a pirate._

_Neither one of you has the power to declare war._

A bored Hiroki and Johnny were a force to be reckoned with as Jeremy learned when he accidentally walked into the crossfire. His right eye twitches every time he sees one of them now and everyone else is either sympathetic or laughs about it.

#

_Monsters wearing creepy masks with holes in their stomachs do not exist._

Their friends really worried about Paul sometimes.

#

_While such concern is appreciated, linking people to video game characters and then telling them what not to do, is rather odd all the same time._

In a moment of pure and utter boredom Tristan reflected over his video games and began noticing similarities between people he knew and the characters in said games. Feeling it was his civic duty to ensure certain fates didn’t repeat (that’s his story and he’s sticking to it, it had nothing to do with him wanting to see the looks on people’s faces honest) he decided to enlighten everyone one.

Needless by the end of the day Tristan had a group of people annoyed with him and it was only Aelita kindness that allowed him to hide and it was only later that day when it was noticed that certain people did not object to their comparison and that someone actually agreed with Tristan.

Tristan was still dodging Sissi, William, Odd, and Pierre days later though. Ulrich protection however got them to stop, eventually.

#

_There will no food fights in the cafeteria._

No is sure on who started it but the subsequent war (sides and all) had the cafeteria covered by the time order was restored and everyone needed a shower.

Jim was reluctantly impressed, about the whole thing actually. Not that he tell anyone.

#

_Smacking down doors in order to help someone in danger is one thing, but smacking down doors because you thought you could see something juicy is another._

As it was turns out Thomas’s mother is rather excellent at giving massages and taught Thomas, who in turns gives them to his friends at discount. Matthew who was stressing about tests sought his services in order to help him relax as his usual methods of relaxing were not working. About near the end of the massage session Thomas’s door was knocked down by Thiery, Tania (holding a camera), and Sorya.

Matthew was too relaxed to be worked up over it, Thomas called the girls prevents and told them to fix his door. No one believed the girls when they tried explaining that they heard someone in pain and merely sought to help. Jim just grumbled as he gave the girls detention for destroying school property and quickly fixed Thomas’s door.

It didn’t stop a few rumors about the boys getting out, but no one really took it seriously.

#

_Don’t mess with someone else’s cell phone._

Odd was in the middle charming Anais when his phone starting belting “I Like Big Butts.” Needless to say he did not get a date and it did not take him long for Ulrich to be revealed as the culprit.

#

_Faction pride is too extreme, but faction solidarity is perfectly fine? I don’t think so._

Thomas was endlessly amused by Matthew’s arguments that because they both played Horde, then he should get his massages for free. Thomas laughingly promised that such a thing would happen should the Horde ever enter a civil war in the lifetime if World of Warcraft. As such when it did happen Thomas was somewhat annoyed at Blizzard Entertainment. Matthew just shrugged because by then he was getting free massages anyways.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thesentence, “what’s the worst that could happen”is banned from campus._

Said words were said by Odd during a science class after he added an extra ingredient or two. Suffice the subsequent small explosion cost Odd’s his eyebrows and no one else wanted to temp fate.

#

_You can’t kiss someone without their consent._

_Don’t dare someone to randomly kiss someone._

Aelita is smirking and that expression on the normally girl’s sweet face is somewhat disturbing to everyone else with the exception of a few. Emmanuel is just rubbing his swore shins and is trying to think of a way to get back at William.

#

_It is better to do ask forgiveness then permission should never be followed._

_The fact it was the first floor means nothing, there will be no tossing people out of any window at Kadic!_

There was a fight and Pierre had to dodge in order to escape Christopher who was completely focused on tossing him out the window. Jim caught them and Christopher uttered that said reasoning the others failed because they asked, instead of just doing it. Christopher got a detention and no grumbles of his cousin Pierre deserving it got him out of it. Pierre decided to lay low and not annoy said cousin about his crush and lack of love life.

The staff at Kadic just wonders why the students are inclined to defenestration and the students, without a hint of shame, are taking bets on when someone successfully commits the deed.

#

_No amount of bribes will get us to talk._

During Tristan’s video game comparison spree he compared Ulrich to Raziel from the Legacy of Kain series. No one ever figures why Ulrich not only he agreed and accepted the comparison but how Tristan thought of it in the first place, even with all the bribes being offered.

Some things are secret like that.

#

_When a classmate improves their school work, you should be happy._

_You should not freak out and declare the end if nigh._

Ulrich was rather miffed at Paul’s freaking out over his improved grades. It’s like they were that bad….right?

#

_DON”T TOUCH SOMEONE’S ELSES PROPERTY!_

Jim is rather angry at seeing his car, painted bright pink with sparkles, parked in the Kadic gym. The car enthusiasts at the school are torn between the shock of Jim having a cool looking car and dismay over what was done to said car. Everyone wonders how the hell the car was driven into the gym and decorated without anyone hearing anyone or anything.

Free from their sugar rush, the Kadic Soccer Team decides to err on the side of caution and avoid sweets and each other for a while. They also promise to find new things for them to do with each other because clearly they are force to be reckoned and could destroy the world or something. At lest that’s one member said, the rest just laugh themselves sick at their deed and hope Jim never discovers it was them.

#

_Don’t wear speedos, wear swimming trunks like other boys._

Magali had issues with Mathias’s swim wear for reasons she refuses to explain but her friends sees the blush all the same.

#

_My father is not Darth Vader, I’m not Luke Skywalker and you shall cease comparing my life to Star Wars right this second Odd!_

Odd got into Star Wars kick and decided to make Ulrich the star to Ulrich’s mortification.

#

_Stop with the titles!_

On accident Aelita found a list that blessed or cursed (if depends on your point of view) certain Kadic students with a title. Which were as following: Ulrich the Iron Wolf, Odd the Playboy, Sissi the Spoiled, Yumi the Inferno, Aelita the Innocent, Veronique the Swimmer, Paul the Freak-out, Nicholas the Drummer, Thomas the Massager, and William the Creepy.

Soon after its discovery a couple of students decide to greet said people with these titles, it eventually stops because nearly everyone is annoyed with titles for their own reasons. Ulrich, Thomas, and Nicholas are the only ones not annoyed by their titles and Ulrich is the only one to love his. No one ever admits to creating the list and it becomes one of those mysterious at Kadic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christopher and Pierre are cousins for the purpose of this story, I have no idea if it’s a canon element or not. I’ve also come to realize that I have a thing with defenestration…. I’m not sure why though.


	10. Chapter 10

“Hey Ulrich,” Caroline called out as she approached Ulrich and his friends. “I’ve come to cash in on that favor.” “Oh sure, what do you ne-“ Was all Ulrich managed to get out before he found Caroline’s tongue down his throat and his body reacted on his own and he found himself kissing her back.

After a couple of minutes in which everyone just stared in disbelief, Caroline pulled back with a smirk as Ulrich panted to catch his breath. “Consider us even.” Caroline continued as she turned with a sway of hips and couldn’t help but call back as she away, “By the way who ever you date is going to be really lucky…in more ways than one.”

In response Ulrich, still somewhat flushed, blushes as he self consciously shifts his pants at people staring at him before he runs off to his dorm to “relax.”

_A little chaos is good for the soul._

Caroline thoroughly enjoyed herself and couldn’t wait to see what would result from her actions.

#

_Don’t pawn people to others._

Odd didn’t like that Ulrich moved Kiwi into their neighboring dorm mates’room so they could watch Kiwi, since Jim could have caught the transaction. It’s also why he says people instead of pets or dogs. Ulrich just gets a little shifty and says nothing.

A few of the other boys smirk and one even moves his eyebrows up and down but no one comments on it too much. After all there things a guy needs to do and Ulrich sure as hell wasn’t doing that with Kiwi in his dam dorm room.

#

_Students don’t have the power to expel other students._

Caroline was just endlessly amused by Sissi’s threats of getting her kicked out of Kadic. She was seriously thinking of secretly recording everything because she found it all that hilarious.

#

_Never mention orgies ever again!_

At this latest development a thoroughly confused Emmanuel just sort of gave up on and suggested that an orgy would be the only thing that could end the weird relationships triangles, squares, or whatever the hell they were. The people who heard him were freaked out about it, except for one or two who were intrigued but were smart enough to keep silent about it.

#

_Don’t even try it._

It was a testament to how resigned Jim was that he added every floor of the Kadic Dormitory to his patrol in order to ensure no one snapped and throw someone through a window.

#

_Lock the door when busy._

Xavier can’t look in Emilio’s direction without blushing in embarrassment, while Emilio was just glad no one was around to hear his girlish scream.

#

_A dog ate my homework is not an acceptable excess._

Bastien finds it cosmetically unfair that such a lame excess was actually true and vows to never watch allow Kiwi or any pets in his room ever again.

#

_There are things you shouldn’t question or certain people shouldn’t be asked certain ask questions._

Naturally Aelita had to ask what Caroline meant by her comment of the person Ulrich dating be lucky in more ways than one. Ulrich just went blank before stammering and walking away and Jeremy just went white before whimpering something about “why me” and running.

Aelita is just so very confused and feels vaguely guilty at being entertained by their reactions.

#

_That joke is lame and if I hear it one more time…!_

Heidi was getting seriously annoyed at the “It’s over 9,000” jokes and too few were brave enough to cross the line she clearly drew in the sand.

#

_The cake is a lie._

Johnny was a Portal fan.

#

_Embrace your future machine overlords!_

Paul freaks out at the thought of a machine uprising, Yumi just stares a bit,Aelita is concerned, William’s twitching, Ulrich is just blank, Odd is silent, and Jeremy secretly runs a scan because life can’t be that cruel or warped enough for Xana to be still alive and taking part in the list.

Veronique is just surprised at how many people fear a machine uprising after seeing them react to her prank.


	11. Chapter 11

_Stop staring at it…_

It’s an embarrassed and red face Ulrich who writes the rule to help preserve his sanity in the wake of Caroline’s comment. Because ever since she remarked that his future girlfriend would be lucky he’s found a certain area of himself being stared rather blatantly by his fan girls.

Yumi, Sissi, and others are more subtle it and Ulrich doesn’t catch on. It’s something to which they are grateful for, especially the few boys who are either interested or just feel inadequate.

#

_There are bathrooms for a reason!_

Being cooped up for days was making Kiwi restless and he was able to escape the dorm room before Ulrich and Odd could close the door. It takes three hours, the enlistment of everyone in their dorm section, and another favor being owed to Caroline, by both boys this time, before Kiwi is returned to the safety of the dorm.

However it turned out in that time Kiwi left a present in one of the hallways of the school. Mrs. Hertz was rather mortified at discovering it.

#

_Stop debating it, we all know Godzilla is the King._

_No King-Kong is!_

_Godzilla!_

_Kong!_

_Godzilla you moron!_

_King Kong will own your face!_

Pierre and Xavier were debating which of the two the true king of all monsters was and this naturally led to conflict when both were being stubborn. The teachers were rather impressed that both boys kept the argument to the paper, instead of letting dissolve into a fist fight.

#

_Don’t kiss my sister!_

_I didn’t….she kissed me._

Odd’s eldest sister decided to visit her only brother and thought that what Kadic needed was more drama.

Odd was rather traumatized at witnessing his eldest sister French kissing Jim in a surprise attack. For his part Jim just freezes in shock when the hot young woman began kissing him and when he found out who she was related too… Let’s just say he found it awkward to look at Odd in the eyes, especially when he noticed he had his sister’s eyes.

Adele just smiles with a smile that is pure Odd after a successfully prank and leaves after a day or two after the incident.

#

_Don’t mess with my phone!_

_We are not family!_

Unable to resist Ulrich timed it for Jim and Odd to walking near each other before calling and hearing “We are family” coming from Odd’s phone was nothing compared to way the both of them froze. The looks on their faces was priceless and Ulrich collapsed after laughing too hard.

#

_Do not repeat the Adele approach._

_Find something safe to do when bored._

An extremely bored Theo decided to try what Adele did to Emily, only to get kneed in the groin on accident. She was sorry about it but Theo learned his lesson.

#

_Trying to prank call someone can make you the prank victim._

Emmanuel in trying to get back at William borrowed someone’s phone. Unfortunately for his plans William secretly witnessed the exchange and when he called William announced, “It’s done. Where should I hide the body?” Emmanuel yelp of shock was music to William’s ears and Emmanuel swore eternal payback.

#

_What have I done?!_

The sight of Yumi Ishiyama and Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas working together was one that shocked and honestly freaked out everyone at Kadic. No is owning up to being the cause though, which is for the best because everyone would most likely rat him out to return Kadic to some measure of normalcy.

No is brave or foolish enough to ask them because the girls look rather homicidal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adele is the oldest child of Mr. and Mrs. Della Robbia in this. 
> 
> In case anyone was wondering… Team Godzilla for the win!


	12. Chapter 12

_Stop with the noise… it sounds like your killing cats._

_Killing cats no…it sounds like the two of you are opening the gates of hell._

Anais and Julien joined forces and it was as horrifying as everyone thought.

#

_You are not bringing sexy back!_

_You are not too sexy for your shirt!_

_By all that is Einstein what is your major malfunction?!_

Herb seriously wondered about the Nicholas’s sanity sometimes.

#

_I am the Cataclysm!_

_…Let’s forget about this._

Hiroki was on a sugar rush and would really appreciate if everyone just forgot the whole thing. Naturally they don’t and bring it up constantly.

#

_You can’t shun someone for liking a video game character you don’t like._

_Oh…yes we can._

As Tristan and Ulrich were discussing their favorite Legacy of Kain characters, Mathias remarked that his were Mobius and the Elder God. Faced with this knowledge the other boys proceeded to shun Matthias for his blasphemy.

Mathias maintains that such manipulative tactics are impressive and that they need to lighten up. They in turn remark Mathias has no soul and it’s their duty to defy him since Kain and Raziel are among their shared favorites (along with Vorador), with Tristan adding Umah and Turel and Ulrich adding Janos and Magnus.

Everyone else just sort of laughs about it and calls them stubborn.

#

_You were warned!_

Bastien was one of the few brave and Heidi snapped at hearing another “It’s over 9,000” joke. The result of which saw Heidi jump at him and he tried jumping back only to trip, which some how caused her accidentally knee him in the head.

#

_Humming the mission impossible theme, while to acting like a ninja ensures you will fail at being sneaky._

Jean-Baptiste couldn’t but snort as saw the young group of fifth graders trying and failing to be stealthy.

#

_Never use that pick up again._

Lola just snorted at Pierre’s pick up and was somewhat tempted to hit him. The pick up in question was: “So our future children will be made of awesomeness.”

Pierre is glad no one else was around to hear it, especially his cousin, because he said the first thing that came to mind.

#

_People do not disappear in the air with a crack while waving a stick._

Matthew seriously worried about his friend and roommate and Paul just wondered he always had to see this sort of stuff by himself. The drunken wizard was just lucky the Wizarding French government didn’t catch what he did.

#

_Homework is to be finished, not turned into paper airplanes._

Sandra was bored and Anne barely stopped her from transforming her homework.

#

_I don’t care if you were tripled dog dared, you can’t run around campus in your boxers!_

Suffice to say Emilio’s declaration of duty and pride in the face of a tripled dog dare had no affect on Jim.

#

_I don’t how you did it, but you cheated._

Maitena beat Jeremy at chest, and to everyone’s surprise he was being a sore loser about it.


	13. Chapter 13

A yawn echoed from Jeremy’s lips as he slowly woke up and for a few seconds he enjoyed the silence and comfort of his bed. However his silence was disrupted when he began to recognize something that sounded that like music in the background. As such he looked up and noticed his computer (screen and all) was on and eyes snapped open as he stared at the Eye of the Xana on the screen.

A yelp of surprise/scream of fear erupted from his lips as he fell hard on the floor. However it wasn’t until he was trying to untangle himself from his blanket that he realized the sound was “Still Alive” by Jonathan Coulton. Knowing it was some sort of trick didn’t stop from running a couple of scans just to be on the safe side.

_I don’t know which one of you did it, but my suspect list is very, very small and I will have my revenge!_

#

_No one wanted or needed to know that you like “big butts” and can’t lie._

Pierre, to everyone’s shock, was not mortified that his singing was overheard but proud and boosted that he was honest about what he liked. No one was able to tell if he was serious or just trolling everyone, though.

#

_Clipping your shoes together while saying “There’s no place like home” will not magically transport you away and thus prevent you from getting a detention._

_Consequently shouting what you did after it didn’t work made things worse._

Suffice to say Social Studies Teacher, Gilles Fumet, was not impressed with Caroline’s attempt to get out receiving a detention or her language.

#

_Those T-shirts shall cease immediately!_

When the paper with titles was found Ulrich rather liked his title of Iron Wolf. However sometime after the list was found, t-shirts promising to tame “the Iron Wolf” slowly started progressing throughout the school and subsequently Ulrich was unamused when he found out about it.

#

_When life gives you lemons, don’t use them as weapons……even it was funny._

_No it was not!_

_We agree to disagree then?_ _J_

The sight of Xavier screeching while trying and somewhat failing to doge Tristan’s lemons was one that ensured those witnessing it would never forget.

#

_The proper response to “it’s time to turn in your homework” is not “There was homework!?!”_

Certain teachers did not find such actions amusing.

#

“Why shouldn’t we rule ourselves again? It was the dragons we bowed down to and now the dragons are dead,” Odd dramatically began when Ulrich entered the cafeteria. A confused Ulrich could only stare as Odd pointed him and continued. “There sits the only king I intend to bend my knee to. The King of the North!” With this declaration Odd knelt before Ulrich.

“What?” Ulrich replied confused.

“I’ll have peace on those terms; they can keep their red castle and their iron chair too,” continued Matthew who rose from his seat, “The King of the North!” With his piece said Matthew knelt before Ulrich as well.

“What?”

“My sword is yours in victory and defeat, this day until my last day.” William replied with a smirk, while the rest of the occupants of the cafeteria were confused at what was occurring.

“What?”

“The King of the North,” and before Ulrich’s stunned eyes others like those from the soccer team rose from their table and declared “The King of the North!”

“Huh?”

“The King of the North!”

“What?”

“The King of the North!”

_Never do thatever again._

Ulrich never really got an explanation of why they enacted that scene from the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Everyone else just wondered how Odd got the others to go along with it. Despite the general confusion it was accepted as oneof the more creative pranks.

#

_When the intercom is used, don’t act as if the school is possessed._

Mr. Fumet was never able to tell if they were seriously trying to be funny or just that bored.

#

_All hail the Lord and Master…Foamy!_

_No we’ve been over this!_

Emilio despaired with Xavier’s new efforts, it also didn’t help but he was unable to determine if Tristan was really interested or just messing with the both of them.

#

_That was interesting…but why?_

Anouche randomly breaking into song caused this to be asked.

#

_The proper thing to do is leave a room, not get more comfortable._

William was initially confused when Mathias stretched his legs and further relaxed in the game room before the silently but deadly fart was unleashed. Matthias laughing even as William chocked from the smell revealed him the culprit and the other people in the room where horrified by the smell.

#

_“We must construct additional plyons” is not the acceptable answer for anything other than StarCraft._

When Matthew pointed out that there wasn’t enough food for what they had planned, Thomas replied with the above quote. From there the quote was reused by others such as Tristan, Emily, Naomi and Christopher before the rule was written.

#

_Whoever it was, just came forward already….it’s disturbing._

_Also…what did you do?_

To people watching it was a toss up on what more disturbing Yumi and Sissi talking with one another while smirking or the few times when the pair was found laughing together, during whatever discussion they had.

Regardless it made everyone curious on what caused the two girls to join forces, but they are not talking and the culprit is being fearlessly silent.

#

_I do not accept I.O.U.s, I expect my money….or else._

Xavier lent Emilio $15 and when it came time to be paid back was unimpressed at receiving a slip of paper saying, “I.O.U.”

#

_Don’t mess with the intercom!_

_You boys are dorks….._

At precisely 2:45 the Super Saiyan 3 theme song came blasting out of the speakers, in a loop for 30 minutes. While that in its self seemed to have caught everyone off guard a group of boys, after the first loop, couldn’t help but enact the moment where Goku first turned into a SS3. While some suspicious turned their way, it was quickly discovered/understood that the boys in question had no way of rigging the intercom/speakers to blast out the SS3 theme from Dragonball Z.

It didn’t stop Jim to be extra watchful of everyone who enacted the scene in one way or for the some of the girls to decree the boys dorks as a result.

#

_Pretending that a teacher is not behind you won’t stop you from getting a detention._

Kelly pouting that it should, amazingly enough did not work.

#

_If I can see you, you are not a ninja._

Hiroki, Johnny, and their friends were trying to be ninjas, and not succeeding it at it.

#

_How did you trip over air?_

Everyone else who saw Paul was just as confused, ever those who found it a bit funny.

#

_You are not Jack Sparrow.  
…...………^ Captain_

_…Are you for real?_

_I couldn’t resist._ _J_

For reasons unknown by all besides himself and his friends, Terry insisted to be called Captain Jack Sparrow for a week. Priscilla got annoyed enough to create the rule was rather surprised to see that Terry actually took the time and effort to point out that it should Captain.

#

_It was not funny, so stop laughing!_

_Let this be a lesson to everyone else: Never fall asleep while leaning against a tree._

For unknown reasons Sophie fell asleep while leaning against a tree, though the tree would be disrupted when some birds ended up “gifting” her with an unexpected present. Suffice to say Sophie was mortified and the few students who saw thought it was funny.

#

_Do not call students younger than you, midgets._

Theo thought it would be funny, but Veronique did not and kicked in the shins for his attempt at humor.

#

_Super-Ultra-Mega-Death-Man is not an appropriate name for a bunny._

_It’s a thousand times better Floppy or Thumper._

_No it’s not!_

_Yes it is!_

Exactly why Sherry and Mohammed were arguing over this was somewhat in debate, but the consensus was most people wanted to know why Mohammed would call a bunny “Super-Ultra-Mega-Death-Man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Song of Ice and Fire scene is tweaked from the TV Show and episode 245 of DBZ is when we are introduced to the SS3 transformation. 
> 
> Meanwhile in Chapter 13, we have our first OCs. For the purpose of this story Terrence nicknamed Terry is in Yumi’s Grade and Sherry is in Tristan’s grade. Their presence, along with other OCs that will appear here or there, will be used to showcase that the other grades are not lacking in the student department. Since the show mainly focused on the students within Ulrich’s, Odd’s, Jeremy’s, and Aelita’s year, no OCs will appear in their year.


	14. Chapter 14

There was silence as everyone saw the slightly bruised and covered in glitter form of Salim Bradley as he stared with haunted eyes as he moved towards his dorm room. As he walked passed people could have sworn he murmured, “… devils… it was…. just a joke….rubbers chickens….wet sheets….orange soda…musical chairs…flying turkeys...just a joke.”

The vindicate pleasure radiating off of Yumi and Sissi however caused everyone realize that Salim was the responsible party for their teamwork. Naturally everyone wanted to know exactly what Salim did but none of them were telling to tell and it was a sympathetic Terry who posted the rule at seeing the state of his best friend.

_When taking vengeance can you not traumatize your victim?_

_We could, but we won’t and if he hasn’t spoken on what he did, then what makes you think we will?_

#

_You are not a Dark Templar, so stop acting Zeratul._

Yumi became frustrated and annoyed with Hiroki’s insistence on trying to belike the Starcraft character.

#

_If you’re going to fart, go to another room and don’t even try to say you didn’t know it was happening. I saw you grin!_

Needless to say Xavier’s friends were annoyed with him, which wasn’t helped by Xavier deciding to laugh about it.

#

_No just….no more beat-boxing for you._

Valerie was somewhat miffed at her friend’s reaction and Tania just wishes she never heard it in the first place.

#

_The detentions stand, I don’t care who started it, those who fled the room should have gotten me instead of going to the dorms, and those that remained should have not gotten involved in a paint throwing war!_

The school art teacher Gustave Chardin was not impressed with his art class after he returned from a ten minute absence to discover destructive chaos within his class room.

#

_Stop asking how family night went, none of us will answer._

Because the students plainly have no sense of privacy it’s not a surprise that the family dinner consisting of Principle Delmas, his daughter, and girlfriend was found about and then speculated upon. The general consensus is that Nicole Weber will soon be Nicole Delmas, hence bonding between the two most important women in Delmas’s life.

However none of them are answering their questions and it’s somewhat jarring since Sissi won’t even tell Ulrich. At least some people think so, everyone else is convinced that Ulrich does know and is trolling them, his blatant humor about the whole thing going noticed.

#

_It was stated to not lock people in closets!_

_Hey it’s also stated we shouldn’t try to throw somehow out the window, and it hasn’t stopped people from trying._

_That was not an invitation to try to throw me out the window!_

Ulrich and Yumi were locked into a closet by Odd, however unlike Christopher’s attempt the plan actually worked and the pair exited as boyfriend and girlfriend to the joy of those who wanted the drama to end and those who won certain bets among their friends.

However not everyone was as happy as Sissi took exception and wasted no time in accepting ‘Odd’s invitation.’ Suffice to say she failed at her goal, but Odd was freaked out all the same.

#

_Cousin rights do not exists, and if they did they would not allow you to ground your younger cousin._

_They should!_

Christopher became fed up Pierre and declared him grounded on the ground of cousin rights. Needlessly Pierre refused to be grounded and conflict erupted between them that saw Pierre dodging his cousin for a couple of days as the older boy cooled off.

#

_The warning was given, your fate is now your own._

_I regret nothing._

After one “Over 9,000” joke too many, Heidi leaped with a war cry and attacked Anais, which saw the two ultimately serve detention when Mr. Fumet caught them fighting.

#

_What? Why? What’s going on between you two?!_

_Look things just sort of happen…._

Adele came back for a return visit, which ended up having her and Jim go on a date. Odd after learning about it demanded answers but Jim and Adela don’t really feel like answering.

#

_Enough with the chess games!_

Jeremy’s repeated chest games with Maitena saw the same result over and over gain. As such Maitena was not only getting annoyed by the repeated chest challenges but worried since Jeremy was looking more and more homicidal after every lose he endured.

#

_We were right!_

_Fine, the three of you were right so… Stop Gloating and no you can’t watch!_

While walking down the hall Tania, Thiery, and Sorya heard sounds and decided to investigate. As such when they came upon a familiar door that were inclined to leave it thinking it would be another massage session, however Sorya noticed that the door was partially open and peaked it. Her rather load squeal of excitement naturally drew further attention and caused Thomas’s and Matthew’s make out session to cease.

As such while the three girls would have kept the secret to themselves, the scream drew attention that just prevented said secret remaining as such. While there was some hostility towards the newly revealed couple most didn’t care, and those who did learned to not act on any hostility as, along with Tania, Thiery, and Sorya became protective of what they accidentally let the whole school know. Additionally the boy’s friends were all too willing to help, having already known about the relationship before hand.

However none of this stopped the girls from gloating that they knew, and despite popular opinion they did not ask to watch. The boys were just making their opinion clear on that matter, since they rather liked their privacy.

#

_Don’t throw glitter at people._

Magali was more persistent in seeking the truth and after weighing her options sought out Salim, figuring that out of the three them he would be the easiest to get answers out of it. However an annoyed Salim ended up discovering, according to him, an excellent way of getting the unwanted glitter off of him and out of his clothes.

#

_You had one job!_

_You should have double checked!_

While they don’t care that everyone knows, a shared desire for privacy was the main thing keeping it a secret, the boys are rather annoyed the Paul failed to close the door all the way when he left the room.

#

_There will be no switching identities to fool people into thinking you are your twin._

_I don’t care if you had fun, I was annoyed._

April and Ashley decided to pretend to be one another and Johnny spent the entire time wandering why “Ashely” and “April” felt/looked out of place. Suffice to the twins became somewhat interested in Johnny since he was the only in their year, sans close friends, to even suspect/notice that the girls were up to something.

#

_While some friends cross into dating and stuff, others are just friends and nothing more. So stop the giggling…please._

The revelation of Thomas and Matthew had some girls looking at friendships and giggling as they imaged said friends being together. Suffice it creeped at some of the boys when they found out about it, and it was with a sense of pure awkwardness that the rule was created.

#

_Stop shouting, it’s annoying._

_Besides just because they are dating doesn’t mean that they are going to get married._

_Yes it does!_

It turns out Ulrich, Yumi, and those who won the bets about their relationship were not only happy about the two dating. Hiroki, once he learned of the news, became ecstatic and screamed that Ulrich was totally going to become his brother one day. Various students disagreed with his shouting as being necessarily loud, while others with crushes on Ulrich objected for obvious reasons of their own.

The objections to Hiroki’s jubilation did nothing to decrease his cheery mood about such news, however.

#

_Stop complaining about people stealing your idea, especially since it actually worked for them and this time._

Emmanuel was rather miffed that Odd not only stole his idea but it actually got Ulrich and Yumi together. William was also annoyed but by the end of it no one was sure if he was more annoyed at Ulrich getting Yumi or by Emmanuel’s complaining.

#

_Do not mock the sewing of others._

_I wasn’t mocking I was asking why you were making a wolf with octopus legs._

Ninon decided to sew her little brother a sweater as a Christmas gift, and Veronique ended up witnessing the animal design on it and asked about it. In all fairness everyone else who had glimpsed or seen the creature on the sweater is unsure on what it is, with many of them convinced that the animal is some wolf-octopus hybrid.

#

_Why would anyone want to choke a chicken?_

Tamiya and Milly overheard a few older boys joking and overheard a certain phrase. Suffice no is one is willing to answer their questions, especially with older female students deciding to protect their innocent for a little while longer.

#

_He’s dead get over it, I don’t care what you have to say in response…HE’S NOT EVEN REAL!_

While everyone tends to have favorite characters in a TV Show, Manga, comic book, and what not, not everyone will remain sympathetic to someone to losing their favorite character. Especially if they feel the mourning has done long enough or that it ended up escalating to complaining as in the case with Bastien and Theo.

#

_Because it’s awesome is not an adequate explanation for why you would be name a bunny Super-Ultra-Mega-Death-Man._

Mohammed was undeterred and didn’t bother to specific why he would name a bunny Super-Ultra-Mega-Death-Man despite various people pleading with him to go in depth with his reasoning.

#

_Beware the attack eye-brows!_

_Leave the janitor alone, he’s an interesting guy._

Sophie is somewhat in shock on how at the temporary janitor’s eyebrows and Kelly thinks that she should just get over it.

#

_Take down the scarecrows now!_

No ever admits to placing the creepy, sinister looking scarecrows but they end up vanishing all soon after. Oddly enough the temporary janitor leaves soon after and the regular one returns from sick leave.

If anyone notices how some people seem sad as his departure, they don’t mention it even as they to wonder why they are secretly grateful for his appearance.

#

_You are not apart of the Men in Black and I am not an alien._

Julien and Yannick were bored and Jim wasn’t in the mood.

#

_While being entertaining movies can teach life listens, as such as why cloning dinosaurs to create a theme park with them as the attraction would be a bad idea. So cease trying to convince me to create a real life “Jurassic Park.”_

Herb was far from impressed when Nicholas seemingly sincerely suggested that they actually create a real-life Jurassic Park and then pressed the issue over a period of several days. For his part Nicholas just smiles and Sissi can’t tell if he just wanted to rile Herb up or was being serious.

#

_I don’t care who you are or what you believe; Pluto will always be a planet to me._

No exactly copes to the rule but suspicion eyes are turned to the older students and even the teachers.

#

_When asking someone out make sure the person in question is not dating anyone._

Mathias discreetly and unseen placed this rule after asking a girl out, only to find she was not only unavailable but that her boyfriend was nearby to witness the exchange. The couple in question decides to not rat him out, as it were, and the rule is considered genuine advice all things considered. Even though a couple of people do laugh as they image how it was created in the first place.

#

_I swore an oath does not excuse your punishment after punching someone in the face._

Tristan was rather serious as Emilio discovered to his shock, Jim who was walking by just wished kid’s things days would swear on less violent things. Regardless of his punishment Tristan was satisfied that Emilio decided to stop blasting his music.

#

_While I am willing to let you listen to your music as you work on your assignment, please refrain from singing out loud as it can be distracting from others._

While her classmates thought it funny, Maitena was rather embarrassed about the whole thing, and the teacher was just annoyed her song choice.

#

The rather heated argument between Emily and Theo had gotten out of hand and thus everyone was rather surprised when Theo abruptly stopped and asked, “Does this turn you on as much as it does me?”

Emily’s rather horrified no probably wouldn’t have hurt Theo as did if he immediately hadn’t tried to kiss her after asking his question. Her knee-jerk rejection to his movement left him crumpled on the ground while whimpering that it worked on Cheers.

Thus no one was really surprised to see the following rule on the list.

_Arguments do not lead to passionate kissing._

_I don’t care if it worked on Cheers, because guess what it didn’t work on Frasier!_

#

_I’m flattered but there is a limit of what food I can give you._

While Rosa viewed as a testament to her cooking, she did somewhat odd in having to establish the rule.

#

_When someone is learning to speak a foreign language let them know what they are saying, instead of just laughing at them!_

Odd pouted and is understandable confused when Ulrich just busts up laughing at his attempt at speaking German. It doesn’t help that Odd isn’t entirely sure if Ulrich is laughing at his accent or what he is saying versus what he means to say.

For the record it’s both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salim, April, and Ashley are OCs. Salim is in Yumi’s year, and Terry’s roommate, while April and Ashley are twins and roommates in Hiroki’s year. 
> 
> The “attack eye-brows” belong to the Twelfth Doctor and his dealing with Scarecrow aliens is a vague idea for a story I have, hence why the vagueness on which students are sad to see him go. This is mainly a nod to a story that may or may not happen.


	15. Chapter 15

There was a moment of pure complete utter silence as people stared transfixed in the area of the snowman. A choked snicker began to spread as people were focused to the right of said snowman. At the horrified outburst from within the crowd, the silence was shattered as laughter and horrification spread at the sight of snow penis.

#

_I don’t know who did it but this will not be repeated!_

The faculty was not as amused as the students and was quick to destroy it.

Despite speculation no one ever figures the Kadic Soccer were behind the deed, except Yumi. Incidentally his friends and teammates are in awe that Ulrich’s girlfriend not only found it hilarious but helped in creation.

Jim’s being heavily in denial is the only reason Delmas hasn’t punished them for the deed.

#

_Wearing a mistletoe crown doesn’t require all the girls to kiss you._

_But it’s the rules of mistletoe!_

_Take the crown off now!_

_Never!_

While a few girls found it funny and kissed Odd most were surprised that he created a mistletoe crown. However, Claire and Magali took exception to this rule and the campus found the sight of Odd running from them, while holding on to his crown hilarious.

#

_Look let’s stop arguing over the greatest Starcraft character since 1.) People are getting annoyed at us and 2.) Raynor’s the best._

_No that would be Zeratul I- “_

Hiroki gave a yelp as he was pulled away and Yumi took over.

_This argument is not being repeated on this page!_

Yumi, as it tuned out, was very annoyed by Hiroki’s and Johnny’s arguments on the subject.

She grew further annoyed when she noticed an addition was made in William’s handwriting.

_Tassadar and I win._

#

_But they asked doesn’t give you permission to traumatize the younger years with Krampus. Besides I’m pretty sure that we already covered this._

_I wasn’t traumatizing, I was informing!_

_No you were traumatizing and don’t deny it, your grin was unsettling and the hand gestures were not needed._

Yumi just sighed as Ulrich pouted and cut him off with a kiss, when he tried to stick his story that it was informing.

#

_You are one of us!_

No one was going to let Herb forget that he actually, he insists accidentally, whistled the song that never ends.

#

_I don’t care if it’s the holidays, I will break the CDs if you continue to listen those high pitched voices!_

_Fine, fine you rude spoilsport._

Mathias as it turned out loathed the Alvin and the Chipmunks and couldn’t stand listening to their Christmas CD. For his part Terry didn’t want to test it, despite how tempted he was.

#

_Despite the holidays, continue to use regular ink._

Tristan pouted after the teachers stopped him from using more festive colors with his pen.

#

_Shouting “Come you burning devils, Balnazzar calls” will not summon demons of the Burning Legion to do your will, since you not Balnazzar and this is not Azeroth._

_Don’t be like that, it was funny._

_No it was not!_

_Yes it was!_

_Enough!_

Thomas was bored, Paul didn’t not appreciate the sudden shout making him panic, and Matthew looks like he wants to strangle them both.

#

_Stop with the Christmas caroling, I don’t care if you’re bonding with your cousin. I don’t want to hear it, for the millionth time._

_It was not the millionth time._

_It was at least five times too many and not in our dorm either!_

_But we need to practice._

_We don’t care!_

Christopher and Pierre were bonding by practicing Christmas carols and their roommates were rather sick of it all. Pierre’s insistence, more whining really, did not help matters.

#

_Use the music room, I’ll give you times where it’s open._

_You’re the best!_

_Wait, we have a music room?_

The teacher gave a helping hand and while Pierre is grateful, others are surprised by its existence. Suffice to say the music teacher is not amused by the second party.

#

_You are not allowed to give someone coal as an early Christmas gift!_

_Oh yes I can, especially if the person owes me money!_

Xavier was still sore about getting an I.O.U instead of his money from Emilio.

#

_Never do that again…you could have killed me!_

_Don’t be dramatic._

_I’m not being dramatic and look at what you have started!_

_The Shining jokes shall cease at once!_

April and Ashley decided to dress up the twin girl clothes from The Shinning. Danny did not appreciate being “invited to play with them” and the jokes were really just the icing on a cake Danny would have happily gone without.

#

The imitation of a familiar heavy breathing of a certain Sith Lord grabbed attention as Ulrich dramatically pointed at Odd. For his part Odd found himself feeling weary at the smirk on his best friends face and the mirth shining from his eyes.

“Odd,” Ulrich began with the utmost serious, “Jim shall be your,” pausing dramatically, “Brother! That is all.” A pause as Ulrich spun and began walking away, while ignoring the laughter and the chocking sounds in the wake of this announcement.

“Ulrich, what are you talking about! It was just one date… right? Wait…Ulrich what do you know? Ulrich answer me!” Odd spluttered out in shock before chasing after his best friend.

_Don’t make up stories!_

_Who said I’m making things up?_

Ulrich’s smirking and laughing did not help his cause in trying to convince Odd of the ‘truth’. No one is sure if he is believes that Adele and Jim’s will get married or if he’s just screwing with Odd.

Though most people think Ulrich is mainly screwing with Odd for his own amusement.

#

_Just because it’s cold, doesn’t you mean you should end your sentences with “chill.”_

_But it’s awesome and you my friend just need to chill._

_Don’t start._

Terry was amused, Emmanuel not so much.

#

_Happy Feast of Winter Veil one and all!_

_That’s not a holiday._

_Oh but it is…in Azeroth._

_Dork._

Tristan just grins, while others shake their heads.

#

_Two down, three to go._

Though most are in the dark what was done to inquire Jeremy’s wrath, even more people on how Ulrich and Yumi proved that they were innocent.

#

_I’m flattered but stop calling me the Queen of the North._

With them dating it didn’t take long for state if Ulrich was the King of the North, then Yumi was the queen. Needless the joke got old after a while.

#

_One ghosts are not real, and two why would the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future come to me for doing my job?_

_Because….just because…._

Mrs. Meyer was amused when one her students stated the ghosts of past, present and future would come for her, after said student got a detention.

#

_I don’t care happy you are about the holidays, the two of you are not meant to sparkle!_

While Anais could understand the excitement expressed by both Julien and Yannick, she was disturbed by the fact they began to sparkle from the excitement of it all.

Nearly everyone else agrees with her, with a few honestly perplexed on how they copied Alex Armstrong’s sparkle technique from Fullmetal Alchemist.

#

_Don’t distort the classics like that!_

Jean-Baptiste had unique views on the classic holiday specials and Sophie was scandalized by them.

#

_I thought you said it didn’t work._

_It didn’t._

Emily and Theo were caught making out, which surprised everyone.

#

_Someone poking their head out of the window is not an invitation to try to push them out of it. I don’t care if it was the first floor, I will find you and I will end you._

Anouche was rather miffed and swore revenge. Certain people suspect that the deed was done due to a bets placing that someone would get thrown out during December.

#

_The Blade is Me, I am the Blade is a weird tattoo choice to think about it._

_Don’t look through my stuff!_

Most were surprised that Ulrich thought of getting a tattoo and Odd was surprised that more people thought it was cool then weird.

#

_Standing under a mistletoe and waiting till a girl comes to kiss you is pathetic._

_It might be, and yet it worked._

Bastien just smiled and Kelly doesn’t answer any questions on why she kissed him in the first place.

#

_The whole thing is so going to end with a White Walker on the Throne._

_Stop being so cynical, and have hope._

_You say cynical, I’m merely stating the truth._

Caroline was optimistic about the end of the Ice and Fire series, Maitena not so much.

#

_We wish you a Merry Christmas doesn’t end with now give me presents or get on Santa’s naughty list._

_It should._

_No it shouldn’t._

Sandra is just unapologetic and everyone else thinks it was kind of funny.

#

_There are worst middle names to get worked over then your own._

No one copes to it but upon reflection plenty of students have to agree.

#

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death, there is the Force._

_-Jedi Code_

_Peace is a lie, there is only passion._

_Through passion, I gain strength._

_Through strength, I gain power._

_Through power, I gain victory._

_Through victory, my chains are broken._

_The Force shall free me._

_-Sith Code._

_Stars Wars is awesome, that it all._

It’s the only explanation Lola were offer when asked why she wrote the Jedi and Sith codes on the rules.

#

_Have a great break and happy holidays to all._

_May the New Year be a great one to you and make sure your New Year resolutions benefit you in some way._

There is a reason the students like Principal Delmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Danny is in Hiroki’s year and the snow penis was inspired by an episode of Ridiculousness. 
> 
> At the time of writing and posting this on FFN I had recently saw one of the new Star War movies. I believe it was The Force Awakens.


	16. Chapter 16

_I can handle being called Multiple, Multiple Man, Multiple Boy, or even Infinite. But do not call me Jamie…. For the last time its James._

James Madrox was rather amused at his friends and fellow student’s nicknames, until they started calling him Jamie. He’s so polite and stern about it that people agree and the teachers are quick to enforce it because they last thing they need is one of the saner students going crazy.

#

_In the future refrain from telling the losing team that they “must really, really suck.”_

In the defense of the Kadic Soccer Team, it was whispered by one of the stunned players. However it was done in a pure moment of silence and both team’s managers had to step in before fists went flying.

Everyone else just thinks it was hilariously, in a bad way, since the opposing team didn’t score a single goal.

#

_Leave the cars alone!_

Exactly why every single car was spray painted with the number 3 was never found out and a now nervous, instead of bored, Terry was able to ensure he was never caught.

#

_Aelita pranks can apparently leave people stupefied, so be careful and not antagonize her._

It’s the only explanation Emily has for Jeremy’s rather stupefied and shocked expression as he found it the Xana-scare prank was done by Aelita.

The others find it funny and Aelita can’t help but wonder if Jeremy will seek payback or be too stunned to do so.

#

_When ducking when someone tempts fate as you put by saying, “nothing bad will happen,” make sure to not injure yourself in the process._

Claire fully blames Bastien for her injuries and Bastien just wonders how ducking her head caused her smack into a wall.

#

_When offered money to clean someone’s room for them, make sure they actually have money. As a side note not giving away money owed can you elbowed or kneed._

Suffice to say Lola was unimpressed to be paid in monopoly money instead of actual cash and Tristan was grateful to be kneed in the stomach, instead of his special place where Lola was aiming.

#

_Spontaneous air guitar jams are forbidden outside of your rooms._

Julie and Anne decided to bust some of their air guitar skills and Anne got so into it, she accidently elbowed Hiroki in the face.

#

_Just because someone solved a Rubik Cube and you didn’t, doesn’t mean you should be obsessive over it until you solve._

_Yeah it’s been like 3 hours, Jer._

Jeremy clearly didn’t care for his friends opinions on the matter and William just laughs when the others blame him.

#

_When an announcement is made the on the intercom don’t scream that voices in your head have taken over the school, and then run out of the classroom._

Pierre was bored and wanted out of the class and while the teacher was too surprised to give him a dentition a passing by Mr. Delmas was not.

#

_You can not buy, rent, or lease your own soul, let alone someone else’s._

Ulrich learned that some fan girls can truly be scary; Odd now has a black eye that may or may not have come one of said fan girls when he tried selling his best friends soul.

#

_When screaming “You are not prepared” before a match make sure that you are one who wins. Otherwise it looks really embarrassing._

_There’s also you were not prepared jokes._

_….He cheated._

_No, I’m just that good._

Boosting of his kendo skills Julien found himself a bit surprised when challenged by a curious Ulrich for a match. Julien’s surprise turned to dismay when Ulrich was able to beat him in all three matches.

He also really regrets his opening line for the match and feels he should have been wary after seeing Ulrich’s smirk.

#

_Telling a teacher no, regardless of how many times it was repeated, will not stop said teacher from giving your class homework._

_It was a worth of a shot._

Valerie wanted a free weekend and tried the first thing that popped in her head in order to stop Mr. Fumet’s announcement of homework.

#

_The staff who approved of Kadic Newspaper story about a snake infestation should have asked themselves where they girls heard about it._

_Let’s make it simpler Milly and Tamiya are forbidden to ease drop on private conversations._

Milly and Tamiya in looking for a story were ease dropping when a group of older students talking about snakes, and being naïve thought it meant there were snakes infesting the school. The teacher the story was brought too didn’t think anything of it and allowed story, after Jim confirmed there were no snakes.

It wasn’t until several of the students made choking noises, with a few even laughing out loud that he realized what was up.

So all in all the students got a good laugh, the more innocent ones were confused, and those were wanted to keep the girls innocent in certain regards realized their task may have gotten a lot harder.

#

_Spraying someone with water while telling saying “No bad < name >,” will not improve them or cease their bad habits._

_No instead it can cause them to hiss at you and you to hurt yourself._

Anouche as it turned out was disgusted by Salim’s bad habits of leaving crumbs on his shirt and sought to educate him. His subsequent hissing at being ‘attacked’ causing her jerk back in surprise and accidentally twist her ankle.

The end result was Anouche was looked over Yolande for a period of time, Salim writing out the rule before changing his shirt, and a laughing Terry adding his one two cents.

#

_Never crank up your music and leave it playing when going to the bathroom just so you can see if you can hear it while going. Pause it and continue listening after your business is done._

_But my music is awesome!_

_No….it’s really not._

Sherry was rather miffed that her music dissed and maintained that she couldn’t pause it in the middle of one of her favorite songs.

#

_No secret society controls the world and if they did, they wouldn’t be called the Uncrowned.... New rule Christopher is never allowed to be hyper._

Christopher, as everyone learned, gets rather weird and created conspiracy theories when too hyper.

#

_When showing off Christmas pictures the person looking at should, at least, be respectful._

_I was respectful; I’m just surprised that he was wearing it._

_He loves it!_

Ninon did not appreciate Veronique’s sudden surprised exclamation of “He actually wore it” and took offense. Veronique maintains she just surprised and floored that Ninon’s younger brother was actually wearing the sweater.

#

_Not enough practice in the world will get you guitar skills to sound like you are not choking a cat._

_While my guitar skills are really bad, I think choking a cat sounds is going a bit too far._

_No…it’s really not._

While Jean-Baptiste was resigned to his horrible guitar skills he took offense to Sandra’s description of them.

#

“Look brothers! The Awakener is here!”

“He made this far? I knew there should have been more obstacles!”

“How illogical, was the warning not heeded?”

“The power we serve is greater than you have ever known!”

“Our words do not matter to him. Only…only our actions do!”

“We have endured the usurpers, their children, the loss of the master, and soon… you.”

“You will be slain as easily as the peasants of old!”

“And the master will remark this world as he commands!”

“Come, child of the usurpers, you face the Paragons!”

Jim just stood gaping at the soccer team and a few members were starting to twitch, either near the mouths or their bodies in surprised laugher. They were the first to loose it after what seemed like three minutes of Jim just opening and closing his mouth several times. Which created a domino effect and everyone else started laughing, with some leaning on others to keep themselves up straight.

“Nine laps around Kadic now!” The players scattered to do as instructed even as they struggled to hold their laughter. Watching them began to jog and run, Jim couldn’t help but face palm, even as muttered, “two minutes….I was late to this by two minutes....dam brats.”

_The Kadic Soccer Team is made up by a bunch of devious children, who clearly either have too much time on their hands or can plan things on the fly scarily easily._

Jim honesty doesn’t want to ask, and the students never get a clear answer because every time they to ask the soccer teams laughs while mentioning, “The look on his face.”

#

_Don’t take off your pants in public!_

_But I was wearing my swimming shorts underneath._

_It’s called common decency._

Matthew nearly freaked out Kelly and Sophie when he started taking off his pants while nearby the swimming pool, only for them to relax when they saw his swimming wear. Everyone else just wonders why he was wearing them under his pants in the first place.

#

_It’s Salim, not Salem and I don’t know anyone named Sabrina, so stop asking me how she is doing._

Salim is slightly annoyed and Caroline is just shocked that he apparently doesn’t know about Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Maitena is convinced that Salim does in fact know and is acting ignorant for a nefarious purpose.

Terry just wishes he had popcorn.

#

_Only paint school approved subjects during art class._

_It was a turtle!_

_We can see the turtle, but when looked at a certain way…._

During free style in art class James decided to paint a turtle, unfortunately for him when looked at a certain way it also doubled as a naked lady. Mr. Chardin did not give him a detention since he honestly believed James was telling the truth, but it didn’t stop him from confiscating the painting.

#

_Before deciding to do a dare, think of the consequences._

_Sometimes what happens in movies can happen in real life too._

Danny was dared to lick a flagpole by one of his friends, he and a lot of people were surprised when he got stuck. Herb just sighed at seeing how they thought stuff like that only happened in movies.

#

_When going swimming, be considerate and don’t splash those outside of the pool since they may be drying off or relaxing before going back into the water._

Yannick maintains she was trying to get Naomi who was in the water and moved. Thiery who was drying herself off and annoyed at being drenched doesn’t by it.

#

_Please stop whistling it’s off key and annoying me._

Emmanuel just gaps and Priscilla has no problems with honesty.

#

_I don’t care how much you pout I will not make you a robot that can shoot lasers._

_Can’t or unable?_

Herb really, really wants to smack Nicholas sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Madrox is in Tristan’s and Pierre’s year.


	17. Chapter 17

_Just because your preferred pairing didn’t happen, doesn’t mean you should burn your manga._

Claire was rather surprised by Sophie’s intense reaction to her favorite pairing not occurring when her favorite manga ended.

#

_I don’t care if all is right in your world, stop grinning and humming in joy._

Jeremy managed to beat Maitena in chest and everyone agreed that he was being way too excited about it.

#

_Kadic will not host a fighting tournament and if it did it wouldn’t be called Kadic Match._

Jim was rather unimpressed with Xavier.

#

_There will be no pictures, unless we want there to be pictures._

Milly and Tamiya thought a picture of Ulrich and Yumi would be a hit, and failed to realize that both were rather private people about relationship.

#

_When clogging the toilet, tell someone instead of leaving it for others to handle._

Theo surprised shout as the water suddenly overflowed was heard on throughout the floor.

#

_Never assume when asking for something._

Upon seeing Kiwi chewing on something a worried Odd held out his hand and told him to drop it. While he was expecting something that the belonged to him or Ulrich, he wasn’t expecting it be a dog turd.

Odd is convinced that he handled extremely well, Ulrich maintains that Odd made a choked wheezing sound of disgust and shrieked like a little girl.

#

_If something breaks, get someone who knows what they are doing to fix it._

Salim’s alarm broke and his attempt to fix somehow shocked him. Terry found his surprised yelp rather amusing.

#

_Because you want someone to get annoyed at a nickname, doesn’t mean that they will._

An irritated Leo decided to call Danny the Phantom, and was disappointed when Danny took it all in stride.

#

_Always double check before sending your text message._

For reasons, he dares not ask, William received a rather odd text asking for sausage, mustard, a rubber chicken, and a loofa from his grandmother followed by ‘Sorry, wrong number. Ignore this message William.”

#

_If you’re going to pick your nose, don’t wipe it on school property._

Ms. Hertz was rather miffed about discovering a booger on the pencil sharper.

#

_Getting close to someone unaware and whispering doom in their ear, can get you punched._

Johnny learned this the hard way when he decided to surprise Hiroki and the boy reacted with fight, instead of flight.

#

_The phase things are better wet, should never be taken out of context._

Ninon was arguing that tag would be better played in the water and a group of nearby boys burst into laughter, apparently disgruntling her.

#

_When someone gets a date, the proper reaction to be supportive instead of surprised._

_Asking if the girl lost a bet, is not appreciated at all._

Paul really hated his friends at times.

#

_The sock sliding tournament ends now._

_Profiling is wrong!_

As a matter of principle Jim wants to blame the soccer team and as a matter of previous experience he wants to blame Odd and his friends, either way Ulrich maintains that he is being prejudiced against when Jim seems to stare at him when he declares the rule.

The rest of the students just think that Ms. Hertz shrieking when the students slide past her was plain hilarious.

#

_The name Gremmy Thoumeaux is banned from being mentioned on Campus._

Milly and Tamiya found an old note saying Gremmy owns all, and were surprised when Salim’s eyes begin twitching, Terry laughed in a sad, sort of resigned way, Ulrich grew straight up murderous, and Sissi was far too amused for anyone’s comfort.

#

_When sent to the principal’s office don’t sing “We’re off to see the Wizard.”_

While Principal Delmas got a kick out of it the first few times, he was savvy enough to understand he what best to nip it in the bud before it became a habit.

#

_That song is not catchy and you will listen to something different or else._

Valerie was getting rather irritated after hearing the same song for what felt like the hundredth time.

#

_Nicholas should never eat too much sugar, it’s just too bizarre_

Sissi was rather disturbed at how the normally chill quite boy become hyper, chipper, and wouldn’t shut up.

#

_Always pay attention to your surroundings._

_The cascade effect is not only a thing but a true sight to behold._

Ninon ran into a wall, Julie tripped over her and crash landed into Anouche, who grabbed Sandra in an attempt to keep herself up straight and as Sandra found herself falling down Veronique found herself having to jump over Sandra’s legs to avoid the same fate.

Anne was just grateful that she was off to the side and couldn’t get dragged into the mix.

#

_Be careful with your accessories._

To the bafflement of others Lola’s bracelets become connected together, when she moved her wrists over each other. It took the combined efforts of Tania and Naomi to unlock it and free her.

#

_When lending notes, make sure that the other person can actually read them._

Ulrich’s notes were done in a mixture of German, French, and English and he maintains that he forgot that Odd had difficulty with the German language.

#

_When receiving payment, refrain from snide comments._

_Suffice to say when the person takes too long, they should expect comments._

Emilio paid back the $15 and didn’t appreciate Xavier’s snide comments about it.

#

_Don’t mention someone else’s name when making out._

No one sees who writes it but all recognize the way the hand writing is off, as if the person deliberately ensured they wouldn’t be caught.

The truth is that Ulrich and Yumi were making out, when Yumi called out that Caroline wasn’t kidding and a sense of awkwardness descended over the pair.

#

_Jim’s not my brother!_

Adele and Jim were caught out on a date and confirmed that they were in fact dating, Odd, who was in a state of denial about the whole thing, didn’t take kindly people asking how things were going with his future brother in law.

#

_Computer editing can really solve anything._

Anais and Julien joined forced for a song cover and the magics of Emily’s editing saved the day.

#

“All right everyone, pack up, pack it up! We’re done today. Don’t do anymore. Hip hip hooray! That’s all folks.”

The silence that descended as Terry made his exit from the campus grounds into the dormitories was filled with a mixed sense of “Who was he talking to” and “what was that about.”

_In the future please make sense._

_Now, now, where’s the fun in that?_

#

_The question “What would you’re Geass be?” is banned!_

After watching a Code Geass marathon Tristan took upon himself to discover everyone’s desired geass. Needless to say, most found the question rather irritating, especially when Tristan took their confusion as an opportunity to gush about Code Geass.

#

“Ulrich Stern…commands you…. Die!”

“Yes, your highness!”

As the other members of the Kadic soccer fell over “dead”, Tristan gave a whoop, Jim just shook his head at their antics, and Pierre was just done with Code Geass.

_Don’t encourage this Code Geass obsession._

_Too late._

#

_No hiding whoopee cushions under the blankets!_

James was reluctantly impressed that he ended up causing a series of whoopee cushions to go off when he crashed onto his bed.

#

“Is that you, Orange boy?”

“What?”

_When making a reference, remember that the other person may not understand it._

Tristan was rather put out that Jeremiah didn’t get the reference. Jeremiah was just weirded out by Tristan’s comical disappointed expression after the fact.

#

_Beware dramatic chip eating._

Pierre decided to repeat the so called dramatic chip eating scene in Death Note and would have choked if Tristan didn’t smack on the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leo is an OC in Hiroki’s year, Jeremiah is James’s roommate, and the thing with Sophie was inspired by how some people have decided to react to the pairings in the Bleach ending. 
> 
> Gremmy was Ulrich’s old roommate before his parents moved and had him transfer schools.


	18. Chapter 18

“Edward!”

“Jacob!”

“Edward!”

“Jacob!”

“What are Claire and Anne arguing about?” Matthew asked as he took in the sight before him. Both girls were glaring at each other and looked ready to throw down.

With shrug of her shoulders Veronique replied, “Who Bella should pick in Twilight.”

“What’s Twilight,” and before Veronique could respond to Matthew’s question Xavier replied, “The weird series where the vampires sparkle in the sun and-“ before being abruptly cut off, “Those are not vampires,” Ulrich spoke firmly, “Vampires are more like Hellsing, Blade, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Vampires don’t sparkle.” He then dares any to argue with him with his eyes.

_Vampires have criteria, apparently and we don’t care about forming any Team Edward or Jacob._

No one wanted to contest Ulrich’s declaration or form shipping teams about Twilight.

#

_Lighting fires on fart, is not a proper new years’ resolution._

Xavier, as it turned out has a rather strange goal, and is unashamed about it.

#

_There is a proper time and dance for break dancing and in the middle of the hallway is not it, especially if a window is open._

_When saved from your own carelessness, don’t kiss your rescuer no matter how excited you are at being safe._

Tristan randomly break dancing was rather funny, until he overestimated himself and fell out on the window.

Luckily Jim was walking under it and caught him as he fell. Tristan, grateful beyond measure, kissed him on the check and declared him his hero. Tristan maintains it was a reflex but his gleeful amusement at Jim’s reactions has caused doubt.

#

_Our relationship is none of your business._

Because Thiery, Tania, and Sorya are shameless perverts in disguise they couldn’t help but inquire as to how far Matthew and Thomas have gone, the boy’s refusal to answer has divided the three into the actual reason and both boys maintain that it’s none of their business.

#

_You cannot grease wheels to get your future fiancé to work at the same school that you work at._

_Don’t call my sister his future fiancé!_

_The denial is strong in this one, is it not?_ _J_

Ulrich was amused that Adele is going to be working at Kadic as an teacher’s assistance and is convinced that Jim greased wheels, Odd does not appreciate his sister’s title, and Terry has no shame in claiming that Odd is in denial.

#

_I am not a squid-face manipulative soulless monster that wants to eat your soul._

_Sorry, we can’t hear over the sound of how awesome Kain and Razial are over the Elder God._

Tristan was still miffed over Mathias’s blasphemy in liking Mobius and the Elder God and Ulrich had no problems in riding along.

#

**Roses are red,**   
**Violets are blue,**   
**I am made of awesome,**   
**Upon saying yes,**   
**You shall be too.**

“What is this?” Lola asked Pierre, who with a nervous chuckle replied, “A poem…?”

_What you gave me was not an actual poem._

_Sometimes a lack of answer can be answer enough._

While Pierre is grateful for Lola’s silence when people ask what the non-poem was, he was rather confused on the lack of an answer. Until Christopher pointed out, privately, there are times where a lack of answer can be answer enough.

#

_Don’t dis the style you can’t understand._

Announce decided to paint every other nail something new and was miffed at her friends endless question.

#

_Jealously is not grounds for attacking someone._

_I’m not jealous!_

_Yes you are!_

_We’re going to be family! So there!_

_We’re going to be family first! So HA!_

_Wait….what?!_

Ulrich’s and Tristan’s growing closeness has not gone unnoticed and Hiroki, who only expected a growing closeness between include him and Ulrich, was displeased.

Tristan egging him on did not help matters and Ulrich was forced break apart both boys when a fight broke out.

Everyone else was just surprised to learn that Ulrich’s cousin (Haschwalth Stern) and Tristan’s sister (Tea Brossard) were engaged.

#

“Yumi,” Valerie, “How does it feel knowing that your boyfriend has boys fighting over him?”

Yumi couldn’t answer because Valerie decided to ask that question, while she was drinking water and she subsequently began choking. A passing by William quickly helped and just when things got under control, everyone heard Salim’s mutter of “Eh…he’s used to it.”

_Don’t ask certain questions to someone when their drinking._

_If someone isn’t going to answer a question, then stop asking._

_Not answering will make us more curious on what the answer is._

Yumi founds it all hilarious, until Valerie asked Salim what he meant by Ulrich being used to it, and he and Ulrich refused to answer.

#

_Accept a compliant when it is given._

Sissi remarking that Ulrich and Yumi were rather cute together, caused people to be suspicious of her motives.

#

_The Kadic Soccer Team is always up to something._

_Now that’s stereotyping._

Ulrich and Theo were caught plotting, and bolted off to gather their fellow team members.

#

_Never walk backwards down the stairs._

_I don’t care if you didn’t get hurt; certain dares are not worth the potential risks._

Jim was unimpressed with Emmanuel and his classmates were rather impressed that he was able to successfully walk backwards down the stairs with seemingly no hassle.

#

_Having seven dogs is not excessive._

Anais declaration of owning seven dogs caused more than a few people to be surprised.

#

_Never record someone without their permission._

Milly and Tamiya accidentally caught Sandra in a bad moment and mood and subsequently ceased recording.

#

_The point of school work is to complete it, not have a competition on what origami animals you can make._

Mr. Fumet was initially displeased to discover origami animals in place of his homework, before the students revealed their completed homework.

It truly was one of the more creative pranks, even if it did cause Mr. Fumet to be suspicious of any devious planning of his students.

#

_Scoring a date is not more important than class, so pay attention!_

Mrs. Meyer wasn’t amused with Odd’s insistence that it was.

#

_There is a time and place for whistling and outside our dorm is not it._

Unaware of Bastien whistling Odd was unprepared for Kiwi’s sudden freak out over the noise. Bastien was properly sorry about it all once he found out.

#

_My future dog won’t be named Logan, Rahne, or other any mutant character name._

James was unimpressed with his friend’s suggestions for what he should name his desired future dog.

#

_There is no just thing as a foot whisper and if there was it wouldn’t be me!_

_Always be prepared for the possibility for pranks to come back to haunt you._

Heidi was rather mortified and irritated at the Tania’s declaration of her being the foot whisperer and Naomi helpfully pointing out she had a measure of responsible for it.

#

_Twins telepathy is not a thing._

_You people do realize that if is it a thing they don’t have any reason to tell us._

Leo was convinced that Ashley and April could communicate with one another with telepathy due to being twins and nothing anyone could say would convince him otherwise.

#

_There will be no stalking of another student on or off of campus._

_There is a difference between research and stalking and if you want to research pick something else._

Emilio in attempt to discover why Ulrich was so popular decided to follow him around as research. Ulrich naturally took exception to this and was unimpressed with his stalking and nothing Emilio could say about research would sway Ulrich’s opinion on the matter.

Other people were just disappointed that Emilio didn’t have enough information for his self made research project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flamelily274 on FFN suggested using Twilight, and so I used the obvious since I’m not into the series and Ulrich’s views on vampires are my own.
> 
> The names of Ulrich’s cousin and Tristan’s sister were picked because of Tea from Yu-Gi-Oh randomly popped in my head and Haschwalth is one my favorite Bleach villains.


	19. Chapter 19

He pushed her gently against the tree, their tongues dancing within each other’s mouth, to them it was perfect moment suddenly ruined by a shout.

“Ulrich Gavin Stern the Tenth!”

The boy in question found himself freezing at the sound of his mother’s voice, while a panicking Yumi pushed him off of her causing him to fall on the ground. As his head turned to the voice he was greeted by the sight of his mother’s stunned face, her expression screaming her disbelief. While his father seemed surprise before it turned thoughtful, “Ulrich, marry this girl.”

“Ulrich Gavin Stern the Ninth!”

“Maria, Ulrich’s newfound high-grade had to come from somewhere.” With an eye roll showing that he thought she was emotional, “He was bound to grow up eventually. I’m just happy you weren’t using blackmail to get your grades improved.”

“DAD!”

It was, Ulrich mused with a detached sense of horror, a small comfort that Yumi had grabbed his hands instead of running for the hills.

#

_Never have Odd as a look out._

_Don’t let a look out get bored._

_It’s not classy to have a parent propose for you._

_Just because someone’s a legacy, doesn’t mean their future children will be legacies._

_Stop calling my boyfriend ten._

Odd was supposed to be Ulrich and Yumi’s look out for their alone time and got bored. Thus the pair was caught off guard when Ulrich’s parents decided to drop for a surprise visit to congratulate their son on his improved grades. His mother took exception to her little boy making out with a girl, and his father’ was just relieved that the apparent source of Ulrich’s improved grades wasn’t blackmail

Everything else is just surprised that Ulrich is a legacy and Ulrich vastly grew increasingly agitated at being called ten.

#

_Unless your name is Alan Ashford, you can’t call him Tenny._

_You have a crush on my cousin?!_

_That’s a giant leap in logic._

Some people tried to be creative and call Ulrich Tenny and Sissi decided nip it in the bud, but convinced Ulrich that she has a crush on his cousin and offended Herb in the process.

#

_Don’t hide Jeremy’s glasses._

_Don’t blame someone else for a person’s actions._

Aelita was feeling mischievous and Jeremy didn’t appreciate it.

Odd was just offended that Jeremy blamed him for influencing Aelita.

#

_Be aware of what is and is not appropriate to teach those younger than you._

Jim was unimpressed to find members of the Kadic Soccer Team teaching others students how to play poker.

#

“Dude you need to relax,” Matthew began as suddenly smirked at his stressed boyfriend before continuing, “Or I’m going to need to get myself a new sugar daddy.”

“Matthew, I am only two months older you!” Thomas yelled in response as his cheeks just burned.

_No one is anyone’s sugar daddy._

Matthew maintains he did to distract his stressed boyfriend and Thomas will not tolerable anyone calling him sugar daddy.

#

“Hey guys, “Caroline began with a smile, “I’m ready to crash in the favor the pair of you owe me.” Perhaps it was the shining mirth in her eyes or even the way mischief seemed to pour in her words, however regardless of the reason Ulrich and Odd felt a chill go down their spine.

_Don’t owe Caroline’s favors._

The boys never tell anyone want Caroline had them to repay her for helping them catch Kiwi when he escaped their room and Caroline decided to not everyone know she had them buy her feminine products.

The two boys blushing crimson bright red as they did the deed was amusement enough.

#

_Be aware some people will already be used to nicknames that you try to annoy them with._

Salim’s response at being called pride was just to roll eyes, which did disappoint the potential pranksters and Terry was offended that they thought he didn’t make his best friend used to being called pride.

#

_Never tell a teacher that they need to loosen up._

Ms. Hertz was not amused.

#

“Do you think Odd and Sissi would make a cute couple?”

“Pierre really needs help in getting Lola, though she seems more into Tristan and Tristan doesn’t seem interested in anyone…..though he does spend a lot with Pierre…..”

“I know it was only one date but maybe we could convince Valerie to give Paul another chance.”

“Oh, I know we could help Hiroki get Milly!”

“Enough!”

_Just because you’re happy in a romance, it doesn’t mean you have to pair people together._

_He’s just my best friend, my brother!_

_Don’t call us the threesome!_

To every one’s shock Ulrich was that person: the one who after finding love wished to spread it to others by pairing them together. Yumi found it cute when it was randomly here and there but after listening to him go on for an hour she had enough.

Hiroki was offended that it seemed like Yumi didn’t want help him, Tristan straight up yelped in shock at the suggestion of him dating Pierre, people began calling Tristan, Pierre, and Lola the threesome, due to all three hanging out together, which made them all blush a deep crimson and Odd and Sissi were just flabbergasted that everyone seemed inclined to agree with Ulrich that they would make a cute couple.

#

_Stop humming “It’s the End of the World”. It’s disturbing the younger students._

Mr. Fumet blames his students for it and Principal Delmas is becoming convinced that the antics of his students are beginning to affect his teaching staff in ways he did not foresee.

#

_When staring at somebody, be aware of the consequences it could bring._

_Slapping someone across the face for staring will not be justified nor prevent you from receiving a detention._

Jean-Baptiste was caught staring at Maitena’s butt and she took extreme exception to it.

#

_You are to focus on your school work, not plans for world domination._

The teaching staff was convinced that Alexandre Peppin was one of the saner students before this incident. His amusement at their dismay makes his friends question if he does have actual plans for world domination or just wanted to screw with the teachers.

#

_You are not too sexy for your shirt!_

Theo is rather unimpressed at this rule and maintains that he is in fact to sexy for his shirt.

#

_Ulrich, Salim, Terry or Yumi must explain immediately!_

_Nice try!_

_Kadic wants to know!_

_We shall not talk of it!_

Caroline determined to figure out why Ulrich would be used to boys fighting over him and how Salim knew about it sought out Terry, who revealed that he did in fact know the history about it but refused to answer at all.

Yumi would later reveal Ulrich told her and while she was amused about it like Terry she refused to explain.

#

_Disco is dead, let in remain in the grave in peace._

_Never!_

Mathias is not a fan of disco, while Emmanuel is.

#

_Don’t call me Jules!_

Julien was not a fan of the nickname.

#

_Certain questions should not be asked._

Samantha wanted to know if boys who shared a room felt awkward when having morning boners and none of them were amused at the question.

Odd called her out on it and a laughing Samantha maintains that she wanted to make her entrance as a Kadic student unforgettable.

#

_There will be no kiss attacks!_

Ashley and April decided to surprise Johnny with attack kisses on his cheeks and were cut off guard as he made a choking sound and passed out.

No one sure if Hiroki makes the rule out of jealously or concern that his best friend passed out.

#

_Being suspicious of someone does not give you grounds to glare at them._

Magali had a particular habit of glaring in Odd’s direction that her friends felt that they needed to call her out on.

#

_Odd Della Robbia has the power to hypnotize people._

Its Danny only explanation for the entire student body keeping Kiwi a secret from the Kadic Staff and Leo’s for how Odd got so many girls to actually date him.

Suffice to say the Kadic Staff believe the rule was created with Leo’s reasoning in mind and the student body is split between those agreeing with Danny, Leo, and both. Except for Odd who just laughed when he saw the rule.

#

_I don’t care who you are or what you believe but I will never give up my lucky charms!_

_I’m beginning to suspect that some people just shouldn’t have too much chocolate._

Sherry went on a sugar rush and Ann was convinced that too many people at school had a sugar rush problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does in fact ignore the existence of Code Lyoko: Evolution, as such the Samantha introduced this chapter is Samantha Knight form the original show and not Samantha Suarez. Samantha just wanted to screw with people.


	20. Chapter 20

_Do not call him his majesty, Emperor of mankind, or future overlord._

Alexandre’s friends decided to run with his joke and Valerie had enough.

#

“So Sissi,” Aelita began, “What made you crush on Ulrich exactly?” After all the two groups were now hanging together and Aelita had always wondered how Sissi’s quest for Ulrich began.

“He was just really sweet in looking out for the class pet bunny in nursery school.” Sissi explained. “It really was”, Nicholas continued, “Made you the sweetest boy in class.” Herb admitted a bit grudgingly.

“Aw big bad Ulrich taking care-“

“I was saving my father from hell.” Ulrich interrupted Odd and in doing so caused everyone to stare at him in shock. With a sigh Ulrich began explaining, “The summer before nursery school my uncle Frederick was visiting us and my always on time father was late coming home. As such when they did come home my mom inquired why they late. My father took one look at me and told my mom that he would tell her later, however after my uncle entered the house he immediately told my mom that they were late because they accidentally ran over a herd of bunnies that just appeared in the street.”

“I freaked out over this and seeing my tears my uncle tried to make things better by telling me not to cry because the bunnies wanted to die.” With a wave of his hands silencing any interruptions, “I naturally started crying harder over the bunnies wanting to die, my father told Uncle Frederick to shut the hell up, I caught the word hell and went hysterical screaming that I “didn’t want daddy going to hell for being a bunny killer.”

“So when I started nursery school and saw that bunny, I knew that I had to make sure it was taken of so it would not die and take my father to hell.” Ulrich finished and as he took in the look the horror of their faces, he started laughing so hard that he cried.

#

_There are some times that you will never forget, regardless of old you were when it happened._

_Your memories from children may or may not be true._

_Don’t distort our memories like that!_

_My amusement does not invalidate the truth and I’m offended that you had my girlfriend call my mother to see whether or not it was a true story._

In an effort to bond Aelita inquired as to the reason for Sissi’s crush on Ulrich. Said crush was started after seeing Ulrich making sure that the nursery school bunny was well taken for and Ulrich then preceded to reveal why he was ensuring that bunny was well taken care of and grew offended when Yumi called his mother to confirm that his story was in fact true.

#

_Uncle Frederick has issues._

It is Ulrich’s explanation as to why his uncle thought it was a good idea to tell his distressed nephew that the bunnies wanted to die.

#

_Some people are messed up._

_Think very carefully before adding something to your bucket list._

_Attempting to carry out something on your bucket list can back fire on you._

_It truly is a small world isn’t it?_

_Stop laughing!_

From what Kadic can gather Thomas’s midget uncle was walking through the park when a stranger suddenly ran up and tried to kick him like a football, while screaming “Bucket List.” The strange blond man not only missed but after he fell to the ground he found himself kicked in the dick by a pissed off midget.

Then Matthew later received a call from his laughing sister that their eldest brother was kicked in the dick after trying to kick a midget.

The dots were quickly connected and both Thomas and Matthew were horrified, while the rest of Kadic thought it was just hilarious.

#

_When I find who did it I shall unleash the vengeance of hell upon them!_

Salim thought he saw something outside and as he leaned over the window to check he found himself subsequently pushed out the window. The fact it was the first floor meant nothing to him and he quickly swore vengeance. Anouche wishing him luck further darkened his mood, especially since she was forced to give up on her own quest for vengeance.

People collecting bets did not help his mood and they swiftly learned how furious Salim could be as he zeroed in them as his first suspects.

#

_Ulrich Stern is the source of many a man crush._

Emily is entirely convinced of this notion after over hearing Jeremiah, James, Tristan, and Pierre talking about Ulrich.

_#_

_Mathis has no soul._

_Don’t blame someone without proof and you owe us an apology._

Mathias blamed Ulrich and Tristan for the rule convinced that it another dig from them and refused to apologize when a laughing Terry revealed himself as the culprit.

#

_Stop humming wedding bells!_

Adele and Nicole were found looking at a wedding magazine and the students had taken to humming wedding bells whenever they walked by Principal Delmas or Jim.

Sissi was handling it with grace, Odd not so much.

#

_Just because someone’s happy over something doesn’t mean that there are responsible for their happiness._

Veronique was just really giddy at defenestration being actually accomplished at Kadic and took objections to being the target of Salem’s ire.

#

_Everyone is gay for Alan Ashford._

Caroline admits to writing this without shame and Ulrich just doesn’t know how to deal with this bizarre declaration about his cousin, especially when nearly every boy who attended Kadic when Alan did blushes at seeing the rule.

#

_Everyone has an exception._

_ULRICH AND SALIM DATED!_

It’s Kelly’s only explanation at seeing so nearly boy with the exception of Salim blushing at seeing the Alan Ashford rule, as it’s becoming known as.

Anais however would take that further and take a leap by inquiring to Terry if Ulrich and Salim were each other exceptions and a surprised Terry would ask her how she realized that they had been boyfriends. Her rather loud excited squeal at this would disturb Terry and soon all of Kadic would learn the pair had dated one another.

#

_Private people are good at hiding things, especially when doing so makes it more special._

_Even the most supportive of friends can be annoyed when you hide something from them._

When asked Ulrich and Salim admitted that they did date one another, they hide it because they felt it wasn’t Kadic’s business, and the pair ended their relationship due to realizing that they were better off as friends.

Anticipating the next question Ulrich, Salim, Terry, and Yumi would reveal that Ulrich was used to boy’s fighting over him was because of Terry, Lucas and Derek would playfully fight over Ulrich to annoy Salim.

#

_Certain questions can make people homicidal._

Sissi found the thought that Ulrich and Salim dating rather hot, until people began asking how she felt about Ulrich wanting to date a boy over her.

She grew increasingly homicidal over it and people began to run inference in case she snapped and tried to claw someone’s eye out.

#

_Aelita is a not a robot._

Anouche was annoyed with rumors that Aelita was a robot created by Jeremy and was convinced that some boys were jealous that Jeremy acquired a girlfriend before them.

Aelita and Jeremy were surprised at the rumors and Ulrich, Odd, Yumi, and William were just surprised that they hadn’t heard them.

#

_There are questions that should never be asked!_

_Sometimes you have to make your own entertainment._

Theo was overheard asking Jeremy if Aelita’s carpet matched her drapes and Theo was forced to run from both Yumi and Jeremy at his question.

When Bastien was seen giving Theo $50 and the reason why quickly became apparent and both boys were forced to hide from Jeremy, Aelita, and Yumi.

#

_When complaining about someone’s skills with a guitar make sure your own are not worse._

_Shut it!_

Jean-Baptiste’s continued insistence to practice the guitar annoyed Sandra who challenged him to a guitar off and was horrified to discover that she was an even worse guitar player to Jean- Baptiste’s amusement.

#

_Whoever “The Boss” is, reveal yourself!_

A majority of those at Kadic enjoyed playing Call of Duty and set up a private server to play against one another and grew seriously annoyed when a mysterious player known as “The Boss” kept winning by a landslide.

A few students in particular were offended that “The Boss” kept sniping them.

#

_Not everyone boasts that are related to staff._

_It’s not of your business and no I will not give in an in with my uncle._

Jeremiah was discovered by Milly and Tamiya to be Mr. Fumet’s nephew and Jeremiah didn’t want anyone thinking that he could serve as an in.

#

_Some people look too much alike._

_Some dares should not be accepted, especially when the confusion is too much._

Lucas was dared to wear a hat and with the blonde streak in his hair covered no one could tell him and his twin brother Derek apart.

#

As Ulrich, Theo, Thomas and Matthew made eye contact they slowly brought hands in a familiar position by the secret service. Seeing this Salim, Terry, Lucas and Derek quickly followed suite and soon the rest of their teammates fell in line, though Jeremiah and Pierre looked nervous, while Tristan had a wide giddy smile on his smile.

When Jim finally arrived at the Kadic Soccer Team meeting he was swiftly tackled with a war cry of “Get down Mr. President!” and he was being forced into the cafeteria where upon the boys quickly bolted before he could get his wits about him.

#

_The Kadic Soccer Team is made of devious students who purposely plan things in advance._

_Despite what people may believe some detentions are worth it._

The Kadic Team decided to play Mr. President with Jim starring as the President and he did not appreciate it and is convinced that they set him up, especially since Ulrich and Theo were seen plotting.

Ulrich’s and Theo’s vehement innocent in the face of this accusation has only filled Jim with a sense of dread the Kadic Soccer Team is planning something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the 20th chapter, defenestration has at last been accomplished at Kadic and I did in fact create a story arc just for people to ask Sissi how she felt about Ulrich dating a boy over her. As for why, I felt it just made it funnier.
> 
> Lucas and Derek are OCs in Yumi’s year and let’s say when Ulrich was starting Kadic Alan was in his last year. 
> 
> The main players of the Kadic Soccer team that play on the field are as follows: Ulrich Stern, Theo Gauthier, Thomas Jolivet, Matthew Ducrocq, Salim Bradley, and Terrence Boot.  
> Players that are switched in and out include: Tristan Brossard, Pierre Francois, Jean-Baptiste Pujol, Lucas Finch, Derek Finch, James Madrox, and Jeremiah Fumet.


	21. Chapter 21

_Being drunk does not excuse your actions._

_When telling a story never leave details out and be entirely truthful._

_Siblings can really be a pain sometimes._

A vexed Matthew decided to voice his objections to Stephen’s actions against his boyfriend’s uncle and was unmoved by Stephen’s declarations that he was drunk at the time.

He then called and berated his sister Candice for not telling him the full details and thus leaving him without an explanation to his boyfriend on why Stephen acted as he did. Candice laughing at this revelation further vexed him.

As Thomas calmed Matthew down by reassuring him that everything was okay, Matthew was overheard informing him that Edmund was the coolest of his siblings.

#

_If you break something report it so that the item may be fixed._

_School properly is not your property._

When Emilio discovered that the jukebox in the recreation room wouldn’t start he swore and declared that somebody better fix his dam jukebox.

#

_The girls’ exceptions are far and wide but the boys of Kadic are drawn to those Ashford boys._

_In fact it’s a rule of law; if you have Ashford blood in your veins then your gender will be gay for you._

_Leave my family alone!_

After overhearing one man crush talk too many Lola declared the boys of Kadic were gay for Ulrich Stern and Caroline overheard it and subsequently ran with it.

Ulrich was mortified and his brain briefly shutdown when Odd helpfully pointed out while there was a lot blushing at the rule, not a single person who blushed objected to the declaration.

#

_Little brothers test the limits of those they should not._

_The more you react, the more people will ask to make you react more._

Odd wouldn’t leave well enough alone and really wanted to know Sissi’s opinion on Ulrich dating Salim over her and thus barely dodged in time before Sissi successfully scratched his eyes.

Adele ended up witnessing the end of the exchange and decided to offer her own two cents.

#

“Hey James, How are you doing and oh god…you pig!” Sarah said to her boyfriend James, who in confusion replied with ““What? I haven’t said anything to you yet.”

With a smile and a wink Sarah replied, “Yeah, but you were thinking it.”

_Some opportunities are good to pass up._

It’s the only explanation Sarah will give her blushing boyfriend.

#

_My uncle is not a Keebler Elf, leprechaun, mini devil, a bad luck charm, etc…_

_He is simply vertically challenged!_

Thomas was quite annoyed at the way some people acted over his uncle being a midget.

#

“Hey Ulrich is it true that your younger cousin will be starting Kadic next year?” Anais asked.

“Yeah Ciel, wants to go where Alan and I went to school.” Ulrich answered with a grin, “He really looks up to us and wants to follow in our footsteps.”

“Awesome my sister will have an Ashford butt to look at!” Anais exclaimed with an excited squeal before she spun around and walked away and thus missed the way Ulrich’s eyes widened in surprise and subsequently him shouting “What?!” in response to her declaration.

_Always verify rumors from someone who would actually know the truth._

_Ashford butts are not a thing!_

_Yes, Ulrich dear they are and you most certainly have one._

Wanting to clarify rumors over Ulrich’s cousin Ciel starting Kadic next year Anais approached him. She was surprised to learn that Ciel was a cousin from Ulrich’s Ashford side of the family tree and thus squealed in excitement that her younger sister would have an Ashford butt to look at.

Ulrich was flabbergasted by this and does not appreciate people at Kadic making ‘Ashford butts’ a thing.

#

_You can’t give detentions to all of your students for not giving up the person who started that rumor._

_Certain rumors should never be started._

Mrs. Meyer did not appreciate the rumor that she needed to get laid and was enraged when no one would cough up the person who started it.

Principal Delmas had to step in when she tried giving everyone a detention for not revealing the culprit.

#

_Man crushes are not gay crushes._

While Tristan will openly admit to having a man crush on Ulrich, he draws the line on Lola’s insistence that he has a gay one on him.

#

_Don’t use a substitute, just curse._

_Just because your parents are not at Kadic doesn’t mean that you should ignore their rules._

_Stop corrupting the younger years!_

_We are not called the CPT._

Instead of cursing like most his kids age, Leo declared “Crap Baskets” which irritated a few of his friends after they heard the phrase over and over again. Leo’s defense of his mother telling him not to curse, earned him an eye roll and being told that his mother wasn’t at Kadic with him.

The corruption prevention taskforce (as they are known as now) were quick to add Leo in the group of kids that they wished remain innocent. However they did object to the acronym that they were given.

#

“Fenix! No!” James declared in anguish.

“What are you worried, Jim? He died the way all Protoss hope to: in combat!” Sarah declared with a careless shrug of her shoulders.

“He died because you betrayed him. How many souls do you need to consume before you’re satisfied? How many more people need to die before you realize what you’ve become?” James declared his eyes intense and filled with anger.

“You don’t even know you’re talking about, Jim!” Sarah countered her eyes blaring in defiance.

“Don’t I? I’ll see you dead for this, Kerrigan. For Fenix and all the others who got caught between you and your mad quest for power!” James declared with anger that radiated off his whole body.

“Tough talk, Jimmy. But I don’t think you have what it takes to be a killer.” Sarah voice was even but there was just a hint of something lurking underneath.

“It may not be tomorrow, darling’. It may not even happen with an army at my back. But rest assured: I’m the man who’s going to kill you some day.” Then suddenly the anger that poured and shrouded his body vanished, his eyes going fiercely cold and in the most chilling voice he uttered. “I’ll be seeing you.”

There was a moment of silence before Sarah and James were awarded with clapping from a cheering audience of Starcraft fans.

_Some requests just have to be accepted._

James and Sarah started dating and to many a Starcraft fan it was an opportunity that couldn’t be passed. So the dating pair decided to enact one of their moments from the franchise when asked.

#

“Pierre, please don’t cry,” Lola tried to be comforting but Xavier cut in, “Yeah man it’s just a video game character.” The good news was that the tears in Pierre’s eyes ceased, the bad news was the unholy glare that he threw Xavier made nearly everyone take a step back.

_A fictional character dying can be hard for fans of the character._

_Be more tactful when trying to comfort someone over their favorite character dying._

_Even the kindest of people can have a darker side._

_En Taro Zeratul!_

Pierre got emotional over Zeratul’s death in Legacy of Void and the glare that he threw at Xavier for the other boy’s less than tactful way to help him, has convinced Xavier that he’s the earned the wrath of Pierre’s hidden darker side.

#

_Salim on the warpath is the most dangerous in the world._

_Forgiveness from the wolf is given through chocolate milkshakes._

Suspicious that Ulrich and Theo had a side plan going on Salim decided to talk to both boys. Theo maintains that it was one of the most frightening experiences of his life, Ulrich was offended by the suggestion that he was involved in Salim getting pushed out the window and a remorseful Salim was later seen giving Ulrich a chocolate milkshake.

Terry was later seen directing Yumi to this incident as sage advice for calming an offended wolf down and while Salim was no closer to who pushed him out the window, he felt that he was on the right track in targeting the year(s) below him.

#

_Wishing for something will not make it magically happen._

Derek really wanted popcorn when watching Salim go on the warpath and was disappointed that it didn’t magically appear to Emmanuel’s amusement.

#

_Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you should use it without permission._

Sam wanted private computer time and Jeremy did not appreciate her trying to commandeer his own computer.

#

_Without evidence, all you have is a theory._

_No should ever be punished on a theory._

William found Terry’s usage of the wolf particularly suspicious and declared his belief that Terry wrote the titles that were discovered in what felt so long ago.

#

_When giving nicknames, at least have them make sense._

Suffice to say Julien was completely confused on why Kelly called him princess.

# 

_You can’t give someone a nickname based on a fictional character._

_Nicknames should be based on the person in question._

Sarah was vastly unamused at being called Queen Bitch of the Universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ducrocq siblings from oldest to youngest are: Stephen, Edmund, Candice, and Matthew. At the time of writing this chapter I was playing Starcraft and thus couldn’t help myself.  
> Sarah Willington is an OC in Tristan’s year.


	22. Chapter 22

_Just because Jeremy doesn’t have an answer to a question doesn’t mean that the apocalypse is near._

Jeremy’s inability to answer Lucas’s question of “When does looting and grave robbing become archaeology?” convinced more than a few students it was a sign that the end was nigh.

#

“Listen up!” Sam declared fiercely, “I have something to say.” As everyone turned in her direction and with her tongue shrouded in mischief she declared, “Every boy here will one day have a finger in their butt.”

With some beginning to laugh and others still caught in surprise, Sam bounced away the largest grin ever on her face.

_SAMANATHA KNIGHT IS FORBIDDEN TO SPEAK!_

_You can’t ban someone from speaking._

_Think before you speak._

_Information has a time and place and the cafeteria wasn’t the time or place for that!_

Decided that she wanted another reaction, Sam made an announcement that had the boys left reeling in surprise and disturbed more than a few of them.

#

Everyone turned to stare in surprise as Nicholas ran past them towards the safety of his dorm room. In the silence that followed everyone heard Terry’s murmur of “You truly are dangerous on a warpath.”

_When investigating please don’t traumatize those you interrogate._

Nicholas made comments that Salim found suspicious and now the other boy refuses to be within seven feet of Salim.

#

_Just because you want to see a cat fight doesn’t mean you can start rumors to create one._

To the misfortune of those hoping for a cat fight Sophie and Sorya decided to have a discussion about what they heard being said over acting on it.

#

“If it’s a matter of life and death, the doctor could stick his whole hand up my butt.” Emmanuel was overheard telling Derek by a rather green looking Mohammed.

_Don’t over share….just don’t._

While others might have agreed with Emmanuel’s point, they really didn’t want to think about it especially those uncomfortable with it such as Derek and Mohammed.

#

_Some requests will always be rejected._

Sissi’s stance on requests to have her pen pal Brynja visit Kadic again.

#

_Kadic will have not cooking contests, especially to see who between Lola and Jeremy the worst is._

Odd got wind of the suggestion and put a firm stop to it.

#

_Even if you are not threatened or amused by it, don’t let your amusement show when your partner’s father’s gives you the protective talk._

Once he realized how serious Ulrich and Yumi were about each other, Takeho decided to have a talk with Ulrich. Despite being respectful Ulrich couldn’t keep the amusement he felt off his face and Takeho subsequently complained about it to Akiko, Yumi, and Hiroki.

Ulrich ended up even rising higher in Hiroki’s eyes as a result and Yumi was just done hearing her father whine about her boyfriend not taking him seriously.

#

_Family members don’t have pull to get people invited to weddings._

_Haschwalth_ _and Tea don’t even know you._

Ulrich and Tristan were initially baffled by the all girls who wanted to attend the Stern-Brossard wedding, until Mathis revealed that they probably just wanted to attend a wedding.

#

_Glaring at someone for being related to someone you dislike is neither right nor fair._

An accidental slip up revealed Leo’s older cousin was Gremmy Thoumeaux and the boy was greatly disturbed by Ulrich’s homicidal glare at that revelation.

Everyone else was just even more curious on why Ulrich had issues with Gremmy.

#

_Call me Kitty Cat one more time, I dare you._

Felix was getting agitated at being called Felix the Cat, Kitty, Kitty Cat, etc…

#

_Gifts should either come from the heart or be something that could be used or would be useful._

Sarah did not appreciate getting bug spray for her birthday, especially with the note calling it a Zerg repellent.

#

_Someone else’s underwear is none of your business._

_If you’re going to ask a question, at least be admit it’s from you._

While Leo was disturbed by the anonymous question of boxers or briefs, other people found the anonymous nature of it disappointing.

#

_The Boss shall cease snipping us!_

Odd and a few others were getting seriously irritated about The Boss snipping them in Call of Duty.

#

_Only wear tuxedoes when needed._

_Focus on your school work instead of the antics of your classmates._

_I don’t care what you say, no one is too sexy to ignore._

The soccer team all wore tuxedos and none of the girls, along with a few boys, could focus on their school work.

#

_The antics of the soccer team are not an invitation to create havoc of your own._

The basketball team was inspired and wore leather pants, which disturbed, distracted, and excited an equal number of people all around.

#

“Hey Caroline, want to do Naughty Things with me?” Terry answered with a bright shine in his eyes full of mischief, as he turned towards his girlfriend.

“I love to Terry.” Caroline answered with a wicked grin and before anyone could react, the couple began to sing.

_ “Oh Kadic,   
Oh Kadic, don’t you see.  
Everyone has another person,   
That they want to  
Oh that they want to do   
Naughty Things to _

_  
Oh Kadic,  
It’s true and you know it.  
That everyone has someone  
They want to do….  
Naughty Things to _

_  
Oh yes, it’s true.  
Don’t deny   
You can’t deny  
All the boys and girls  
Have someone they want  
To do naughty things to _

_ Oh it’s true,  
Oh Kadic  
Everyone has someone  
Someone that they want  
Someone that they desire to  
Naughty Things to _

_ Oh yes, it’s true.  
Don’t deny   
You can’t deny  
All the boys and girls  
Have someone they want  
To do naughty things to  
Naughty to, _

_ Oh Terry,   
Oh Caroline,  
I want too,  
Do naughty things to you.  
Oh yes, its true  
Caroline gets me hot and bothered.  
Oh its true  
Terry makes me quiver, _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Everyone has someone  
That they want to,  
Naughty Things to  
Oh yes, it’s true.  
Don’t deny   
You can’t deny  
All the boys and girls  
Have someone they want  
To do naughty things to, _

_ Ulrich has Yumi,  
Thomas has Matthew,  
Jeremy has Aelita,  
Sarah has James,  
And we have each other, _

_ To do,   
Naughty Things to  
Oh yes, it’s true.  
Don’t deny   
You can’t deny  
All the boys and girls  
Have someone they want  
To do naughty things to  
It’s a fact a life." _

_When announcing you’re dating someone, don’t sing it._

_You’re dead people walking._

Terry and Caroline had a unique method in revealing their relationship. Reactions on their reveal varied with only Salim being unsurprised by their antics. However he was surprised that they had enough presence of mind to not include the teachers in their song.

The couples mentioned in the song, were a mix of blushing, seething in rage, wanting vengeance, and praying that no could comment on their inclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felix is an OC in Milly’s year.  
> Naughty Things was created by a random thought that somehow morphed into a song.
> 
> _ Oh viewers,  
> Oh readers,  
> I must confess,  
> My mind is,  
> My mind is a,  
> Weird place. _


	23. Chapter 23

_If you have a room by yourself, use that room!_

Paul is pale with shock, Thomas is blushing bright red, and Matthew fully accepts the blame tossed his way. The three don’t say anything, but in all honesty they really don’t need too.

#

_What someone does in their dorm room is none of your business._

Ulrich quickly writes the rule because he can see the question coming and his friends are obviously in no condition for it.

#

_The Boss doesn’t like Naughty Things._

After being repeatedly snipped Terry was left with only one explanation for this sudden hostile action against him during Call of Duty.

#

_I don’t care how comfortable you are around someone; there are things that should not be done around other people._

Tristan scratched his balls around Lola. Suffice to say she was disturbed and Tristan’s claim that it was a compliment over how comfortable he was around her did not help.

#

“I need a haircut,” Ulrich commented as he looked in the mirror. “Or you could try growing your hair out and put it in a pony tail, like you did that one time.” Thomas commented with a grin.

“One I was ten, two I was trying to copy Alan, and three do you really want to go there, sweater vest?” Ulrich shot back and seeing Matthew laughing Thomas declared, “Why are you laughing skinny jeans?”

“Hey we don’t talk about the skinny jeans, that was a dark time in my life.” Matthew responded and after a moment, “We never speak of this.” Agreed,” Ulrich and Thomas responded, and all three were keenly aware of Odd’s intrigued stare.

_Ulrich, Thomas, and Matthew----_

A sudden yelp caused everyone to stare in shock as Odd was yanked from the Rule Sheet by Thomas.

_Old fashion choices will not be spoken of._

_You can’t yank someone from writing on the rule sheet._

Odd was not in agreement with the boy’s decision to not speak of old fashion choices and protested at being yanked from the Rule Sheet. He snuck back later but more mindful of the glares from the three keeping him from speaking of it.

Kadic’s students tried asking Sissi, as she went to school with them, but she would just giggle.

#

“Jim saves us!” Sophie and Kelly declared dramatically as they ran behind him, Jim had only a moment of confusion before a fully pissed off Salim rounded the corner. “Jim Morales, I respect you, I confess that I admire you for what you must put up with, but vengeance….vengeance trumps all!”

“You pushed Salim out the window.” Jim stated in muted shock, “What on Earth were you thinking?” “Money,” Kelly yelped, “Don’t let him get us.” Sophie begged, “You can run, you can hide, but your guard will fall and vengeance shall be mine!” Salim declared with a pointed glare in their direction before walking off.

_The Hour of Wrath shall fall!_

_Vengeance will not be denied!_

_Vengeance….sweet vengeance……_

Salim’s quest had come to an end. Sophie and Kelly were revealed as the culprits and terrified of his retribution.

#

_You unleashed the beast!_

_Punishment shall upon thee._

The girls thought that their classes would give them a haven, only to run afoul of Theo’s and Nicholas’s glares, but somehow the worst was the way Ulrich would just occasionally toss a look in their direction.

#

_There is no such thing as the fashion police._

Rhonda tried giving out tickets to what she considered fashion blasphemy.

#

“Hold on,” Lola suddenly shouted as she grabbed Pierre’s arm “Are you saying that I have a bug butt?”

With eyes widen in horror, Pierre shouted, “Look Ulrich and Tristan aren’t wearing shirts!” As Lola turned, Pierre quickly loosened out of her hold and took off like the devil was after him.

“Pierre William Francois!” Lola roared as she chased after him. “Answer my question!” “It’s biggish and don’t kill me!” Pierre yelled back in panic. It did little to help and enraged Lola even further.

#

_You can’t kill someone for giving you a compliment that you don’t like._

_Family should protect family members, not laugh themselves so hard that they fall on the ground._

_Ulrich Gavin Stern the Tenth deserves the man crush!_

Pierre’s appreciate for big butts and his crush Lola suddenly connected in Lola and she didn’t appreciate the idea of her having a big butt. Confronting Pierre revealed that he thought it was biggish and an enraged Lola soon gave chase. Upon seeing the plight of his cousin Christopher laughed so hard that he nearly passed out.

Ulrich suddenly whistled causing everyone to turn and upon seeing him shirtless Lola grew bright red and distracted, upon seeing this Pierre took advantage and found the safety of his dorm room.

#

_Some people are slow on the uptake._

Jeremiah couldn’t help himself and in response Lola smacked him in the back of the head.

#

“What did you do to make Ulrich go homicidal at the mention of your name?” Leo asked his cousin on the phone. There was a moment of silence before laughter reached his ears and he could make out Gremmy’s choked out, “It was worth it.”

Before Leo could ask for clarity he felt a blaze of anger and he turned to look behind him. “Hey Ulrich,” Leo said shakily but the other boy ignored him, his attentive eyes glaring at the phone.

_Don’t eavesdrop on phone conversations._

_If you want to have a private phone conversation, don’t make phone calls where other people can overhear you._

Trying to fish for information on what his cousin had done to earn Ulrich’s wrath revealed nothing but did illustrate how easily phone conversations could be overheard.

#

“Hey Ulrich,” Sissi began, “Why wouldn’t you go out with me? It’s just really bugging me,” she added after receiving a look from Yumi.

“The tackiness of it all,” Alexander said from the nearby cafeteria table. “That is so true,” from Thomas, and an “It really would be tacky, yeah” from Matthew.

“What? Ulrich, what are they talking about? What’s tacky about dating me?” Sissi’s confusion only deepened when Ulrich actually blushed. “It’s less about you and more about who you are related too,” He responded after a minute or so of being stared by everyone at their lunch table.

“So you wouldn’t date Sissi because dating the principal’s daughter is tacky?” Aelita asked, “But I thought she wanted to date you before the both of you started Kadic.” Yumi said before Ulrich could answer.

There was moment of silence before “Aelita, I think dating the principal’s daughter is tacky,” came from Alexander, “Yumi, Sissi did want to date me before we started at Kadic,” from Ulrich, and then Matthew finished it all off with,” It’s tacky because we had a man crush on your cousin.”

“WHAT!” The shout from Sissi caused more than one person to cover their ears.

#

_It’s tacky to date someone when you have or have had a man crush on their relative._

The true reason for Ulrich rejecting Sissi had finally been revealed and she was just stunned that plenty of boys in her year and above once had or still had a man crush on her cousin.

The boys in question saw it as a sign of her growing up when she didn’t immediately call Alphonse Delmas to rant at him for ruining her chances with Ulrich.

#

_Don’t create shipping names._

_Don’t call a couple by the ship name._

Sandra and Julie were overheard trying to create shipping names for the currently known dating couples. While Terry and Caroline didn’t mind being called Carry, on the account it was better than pervert singing couple, the others were baffled by the combinations reached and quickly grew annoyed.

#

_Cease Ulrich calling the shirtless wonder._

Ulrich thought it was funny, Yumi not so much.

#

“ __Alan Ashford,  
Wicked Sexy Alan Ashford,  
With that sexy Ashford booty,”

“I’m telling Ulrich you’re singing about his cousin’s butt,” Hiroki chimed causing Sissi to yelp in shock as the younger student smirked at her and ran off.

#

_Don’t sing in the hallway, even when you think you are alone._

_You never know when you will be overheard._

With Naughty Things stuck in her head Sissi tried drowning it out with a song of her own creation and was overheard by Hiroki. She was mortified and Ulrich was disturbed, on the other on the other hand Caroline found it all hilarious.

#

Sissi’s singing about Alan’s butt was honesty one of the weirdest things that Ulrich had heard of but as he opened the door to his dorm he beheld something that forced all thoughts of confirmation of Sissi’s crush, as far as he was concerned, out of his hand.

Odd was standing wearing a beret on his hand, a poncho covering his body, he could glimpse tuxedo pants under the poncho, and lastly of all he could sandshoes on his feet. “I can explain!” Odd shouted after he recovered from his shock.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Ulrich declared as he shut the door and walked elsewhere.

#

_I don’t care if you can explain. I don’t want to hear it._

Ulrich refuses to explain and Odd looks extremely shifty to people. Naturally people really, really want to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paul and Matthew are roommates, William has randomly chosen for Pierre’s middle name, and Rhonda is an OC in Milly’s year.


	24. Chapter 24

_Sissi Delmas has a crush on Alan Ashford._

_Who doesn’t?_

In light of Hiroki’s revelation Ulrich was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Sissi did in fact have a crush on his cousin.

#

_Pointing out habits can cause them to decrease._

_When you become used to something, it can make it difficult to notice when things change._

People begin realizing that Matthew was ending his sentence without his verbal tic of ‘yeah’ more frequently.

#

_Never let an amateur try something that a pro should do, especially if it’s chiropractic._

_If a situation repeats itself it’s because you allowed it and thus all fairness any threats should not be carried._

Caroline had a kink in her neck and Terry, after watching Chiropractic videos, decided to help her. Needless she to say became stuck until Yolanda could help resolve her situation. Caroline was later heard vehemently threatening that not nice naughty stuff would happen to Terry if it happened again.

#

_You can’t decide that someone is asexual on your own._

Tristan’s seemingly lack of interest in anyone convinced more than a few that the young man was in fact asexual.

#

_Rosa is not the goddess of food._

Rose was flattered, but everyone else was annoyed with Odd and wanted him to stop.

#

_The Church of Ulrich shall cease immediately._

Despite speculation it wasn’t Ulrich who wrote the rule, it was Odd who was offended at realizing just the sheer extend of his friend’s popularity over him.

For the record Ulrich found the thing whole hilarious and Yumi declared it one of the best pranks ever. Both were subsequently surprised when they realized the other didn’t set it up.

#

_Whoever planted the fake horde of rats inside Mr. Klotz’s office should be aware that in addition to being a psychologist, he is also a black belt in karate, and does in fact have a vengeance streak. Have a nice day._

While Mr. Klotz’s high pitched girlish screaming at discovering the fake rats was hilarious, the revelation from Principal Delmas surprised more than one person and people suspected that it made the culprit(s) nervous.

#

_Stop asking me where’s Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc…. You are making no sense and distracting the class._

Learning Mr. Fumet’s first name was Gilles the students just had to do it and to their disbelief their social studies teacher didn’t get the reference at all. Jeremiah had to tell more than one person that his uncle wasn’t screwing them all and sincerely didn’t know about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

#

_ “Oh Rhonda,   
Oh Rhonda,   
don’t you see.  
I have a confession,  
  
I have a confession,   
I find you beautiful,   
I find you sexy,   
and I want to do naughty things to you.   
Naughty Things to _

Brighton’s singing was abruptly cut off as the girl in question slapped him.

#

_Unless your name is Terrence Boot or Caroline Savorani then Naughty Things will not work on who you attempt to woo._

_Who uses words like woo in this day and age?_

Rhonda was unimpressed with Brighton’s own version of Naughty Things and other people were disappointed that she didn’t let him finish.

#

_You cannot hypnotize someone into being gay._

_It was a joke!_

Herb was overheard grumbling about Sissi’s crush on Alan Ashford and a laughing Jean-Baptiste suggested that he could hope that Alan was taken or gay. Herb then smashed his hands and declared that he would hypnotize the other male gay leaving his friend completely stunned and gob smacked.

#

“You realize if you actually try to hypnotize Alan gay, he’ll take that to mean you have a crush on him right?” Ulrich asked, amusement coloring his words. “Besides you really can’t hypnotize someone into being gay…otherwise I-“Herb covered Ulrich’s word but it was too late.

“You tried to hypnotize Ulrich into being gay?!” Sissi screeched and Herb could only groan at her death glare.

#

_The past doesn’t stay buried, especially when someone makes you remember it._

_When your logical only makes sense to you, it’s not logical._

In Herb’s defense he was nine, smarting over Sissi liking Ulrich, and then he and Ulrich had been paired together for a class project. He was desperate and lucky that Ulrich was vastly amused, instead of vastly annoyed.

#

_Samantha Knight is a pervert._

_Samantha King is not a pervert, she’s hilarious, and that’s rich coming from you._

Sam took offense to the rule written about her and Brighton has no shame.

#

_Talking in the third person is a sign you know?_

Danny was offended when Sam growled at him.

#

_No I don’t have a sister named Shirley, nor a cousin, there is no someone named Shirley in the Finite Family! Yes once I realize you were obsessed with Code Geass I did everything in my power to prevent you from learning my last name._

Tristan learned Sherry’s last name and couldn’t stop him himself, Sherry is just so resigned and done with it all.

#

“To my fellow team members behold! We got brownies,” Terry exclaimed as he held the container addressed to the Kadic Soccer Team. “Where did they come from?” Salim asks suspiciously. “Mister suspicious, stop your vengeance plot and enjoy the free food.” Pierre declared with a wave of his hands, while ignoring the look tossed his way.

The moment of brownie enjoyment was ruined as every team member abruptly stopped eating and ran to the nearest bathroom.

#

_Never trust free food, especially when you don’t know the sender._

Apparently some members of the team that couldn’t even score a goal against them were rather bitter about their legendary defeat. On the upside they got in trouble, on the downside the Kadic Soccer team grew rather homicidal at the mention of free food, brownies, and being mocked in general.

People quickly learned to keep their mouths shut, especially seeing how frightening the entire team could become united.

#

A sudden screech caused everyone to turn towards the direction of the girls shower. After a few minutes a fully dressed Sophie and Kelly exited and everyone become gob smacked at their appearance. While Sophie’s skin was blue with sparkly pink hair, Kelly’s was orange with shining purple.

The moment of silence was only shattered by the cries of laughter.

#

_You can’t punish someone without evidence._

_There is a difference between believing and knowing._

Sophie and Kelly knew Salim did it, in truth everyone knew Salim had claimed vengeance but as he did not claim credit and denied it, there was nothing anyone could technically do and the girls ultimately decided to accept defeat after hearing that it took Terry, Ulrich, Theo, and Tristan talking him down from his original plan.

#

_Some detentions are worth it and there are no regrets._

Jim understood Felix’s annoyance with a laughing Leo dropping cat ears on his head but maintains that it doesn’t give him grounds to punch the other boy in the face.

#

“ _Alan Ashford,  
That Wicked Sexy Alan Ashford,  
With that sexy Ashford booty,  
  
He’s the one everyone craves,  
From the girls and boys  
The exception to all,  
That Alan Ashford,  
  
Alan Ashford,  
That Wicked Sexy Alan Ashford,  
Everyone wants Alan Ashford,  
  
Alan Ashford,  
Sexy Alan Ashford,  
With that sexy booty,  
  
He’s so handsome,  
He’s so dreamy,  
Oh that sexy beast,  
Alan Ashford,  
  
_“I prefer Naughty Things over this song,” Ulrich cut in, causing the singers to either scream, freeze, or run.

#

_Naughty Things is not an invitation to create more perverted songs._

_You can’t blame someone for starting something that they didn’t continue._

Ulrich was honesty disturbed about finding students singing about his cousin and Sissi maintains that it’s unfair that he holds some blame her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brighton is an OC in Milly’s year.


	25. Chapter 25

A sudden scream erupted and Salim instantly closed the door he just opened. He just stood there in shock, his face blushing crimson, until an equally red face Caroline exited two minutes later.

#

_Warn your roommate!_

Salim won’t answer and Caroline and Terry are very, very shifty. The older and more perverted students laughed themselves sick and the CPT worked in full overdrive to shield the young and more innocent students.

#

“I can’t believe senior year is coming to a close,” Lucas declared as the seniors were leaving class. “To think if you weren’t so insecure you could have spent more time dating Ulrich,” Terry commented to Yumi.

“I wasn’t insecure!” Salim snorted at her and everyone else stared in surprise. Affronted Yumi stormed off to find her boyfriend.

“Ulrich, did you think I was insecure?” Ulrich hesitated and without thinking “Of course we did,” slipped out of Odd’s lips. Seeing the look on Yumi’s face, Jeremy gave a resigned sigh as he decided to help his friends. “Yumi Ulrich confessed to you, and the fact it took you so long to confess back is a sign of you being insecure.”

There was a moment of silence before Yumi got detention after whacking all three in head with her book bag, in one swing.

#

_Don’t ask questions, if you don’t really want the answer._

Yumi vehemently disagrees about her insecurity being the reason she and Ulrich took too long to date. Other people were just surprised that Ulrich confessed first and lamented the loss of the bet money that could have been theirs, if not for Yumi.

#

_Affection should be accepted and not viewed with suspicious._

_Guilt trips only work if the other person actually feels guilty, which they won’t when they call you out on what you’re doing._

Pierre was being affectionate towards Christophe and the older boy wanted to know what his cousin wanted. The fact that he was buttering him up for a favor or two was meaningless in the face of the offensive Pierre felt.

#

 _Miss Insecut_ -“

Odd collapsed on the ground, everyone else winced and Yumi felt no guilt.

#

_Learn to read the moods, warning signs, and above all else learn to stop yourself._

Odd just really couldn’t help himself and Yumi was vastly more annoyed at the insistence that she was insecure than everyone but Hiroki realized.

#

_Never hire mariachi bands to follow Kadic faculty._

Some were amused, others were not, but all were in agreement that Kadic’s students had way too much time on their hand.

#

_Fake or not frogs should not be landing on anyone’s head._

_If you don’t want to get caught then don’t cheer or gloat that your plan worked._

Needless to say Ms. Hertz wasn’t amused about the pile of frogs landing on her head and Leo learned that he really shouldn’t gloat to his friends that his plan worked, especially right after the fact.

#

_Let it go now! Obey your sister!_

_Never!_

Yumi was fed up with Hiroki constantly pointing out that she was lucky Ulrich waited for her.

#

“Guys, guy, who know I had detention because Hertz can’t take a joke. Well I found out who The Boss is!” His friends turned eager eyes towards Leo, who with wide eyes exclaimed it’s “its Delmas!”

“Say what?” “Delmas snips us?””Holy shit,” quickly followed from his stunned friends and the passing by students.

_There is a better way to deal with your students than snipping them!_

_Let’s be honest here you lot get away with more than you deserve and I need a way to deal with your antics, especially since you’ve infected my teaching staff!_

The Boss, the mysterious figure responsible for winning every Call of Duty game, the person who became infamous for snipping various players was revealed to be none other than Principal Delmas. 

More than one person was stunned, others were protesting and laughing that they were snipped by their principal and Terry was just a bit dismayed that Principal Delmas didn’t like Naughty Things.

#

_Kadic is full of perverts._

_Hey just because most of us like Naughty Things doesn’t mean were perverts, we just have a great sense of humor._

Kelly didn’t like Naughty Things and was horrified that most people at Kadic did.

#

_Neither “in my defense I was bored” nor “I wanted to see what would happen” doesn’t excuse your behavior!_

_Mr. Klotz’s smile is absolute tarrying._

Mr. Klotz’s smile seriously freaked out Brighton and Felix out and both boys vowed to never prank their guidance counselor ever again.

#

Ulrich opened his eyes to start the new day only to freeze and shake as beheld the mime over him. A concerned Odd opened his mouth and before he could speak fists went flying.

_Whether intentional (Gremmy) or unintentional (Odd) always be aware that triggering a phobia can end badly for you._

_When attempting to prank or scare someone always remember that reactions are considered flight or fight for a reason._

Odd thought it would be funny to dress as a mime and hover over Ulrich’s bed as he got up. He was unprepared for Ulrich to react with fight and everyone else was surprised to learn that Ulrich had a phobia against mimes.

#

_Google is not a dark omniscient overlord that wants to eat your soul._

_Jeremy is never allowed to binge drink coffee ever again._

Jeremy won’t look anyone in the eye and Aelita won’t stop giggling.

#

_ “Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic, don’t you see.  
Everyone has another person,  
That they want to,  
Oh that they want to do,  
Naughty Things to. _

_ Jim has Adele,  
Oh Odd it’s true,  
Jim does naughty things,  
To your sister _

_ Principal Delmas has his Secretary,  
Oh Sissi don’t you see?  
Secretary Weber does naughty things,  
To your father. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic, don’t you see.  
Everyone has another person,  
That they want to,  
Oh that they want to do,  
Naughty Things to. _

_ Oh Yolanda,  
All the boys,  
And some girls,  
At one point or another,  
Dreamed of doing naughty things,  
Naughty Things to You. _

_ Oh Mrs. Meyer,  
You need your husband,  
To do naughty things to you,  
So you can calm,  
And chill out,  
  
_

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic, don’t you see.  
Everyone has another person,  
That they want to,  
Oh that they want to do,  
Naughty Things to. _

_ Oh Mr. Klotz,  
We’re not blind,  
We see how you and Rosa,  
Look at each other,  
How long?  
Have you two,  
Been Naughty Things,  
To each other? _

_ Oh Mr. Chardin,  
Has his wife,  
Oh Ms. Hertz,  
Has her husband,  
To do naughty things with,  
  
Oh Mr. Fumet,  
You need to make an honest,  
Woman of your girlfriend,  
That you do naughty things with, _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic, don’t you see.  
Everyone has another person,  
That they want to,  
Oh that they want to do,  
Naughty Things to. _

_Oh everyone,  
Everyone who meets him,  
Wants to Naughty Things,  
With Alan Ashford.”_

The silence that followed was broken by laughter and awe from the students and mortification from Kadic’s faculty.

#

_There are times when seeing students graduate can be sad, however after that song……_

Students celebrated the Senior Prank, the faculty of Kadic was honesty rather happy to see the current seniors graduate on the account that they couldn’t look any of them in the eye, and Sissi was found herself blushing crimson, Odd became twitchy, and Ulrich just wondered how and why they decided to include his cousin in the mix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though Yumi, William, Christophe, Anais, Caroline, Maitena, Priscilla, Emmanuel, Mathias, Lucas, Derek, Terry, and Salim have left the building, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve heard the last of all of them.


	26. Chapter 26

A new year, a time of students returning and new entering the halls of Kadic, and the faculty were hopeful things would be less chaotic.

“For the last name I don’t know a William!”

“Brighton I swear!”

“ _Oh Sissi,_  
How do you feel?  
Knowing that Ulrich,  
Would rather”

“FINISH THAT SONG I DARE YOU!”

“STOP STARING AT MY ASS!”

Jim could only sigh.

# 

“When you said that the girls could be rapid I wasn’t expecting that,” Ciel Baxter admitted with a blush to older cousin Ulrich Stern. “Yeah, girls can be really perverted.”

#

_Never doubt the words of wisdom from experienced relatives._

_STOP STARRING AT IT!_

_Ashford Butts are not a thing!_

_Yes they are, accept it as we have and move on._

Despite Ulrich’s words of warning Ciel found himself unprepared and rather stunned by the attention bestowed upon his rear end.

#

_If you must separate us use Nate A and Nate D and not Nate 1 and Nate 2._

Nate Adams and Nate Dunbar not only held the honor of attending classes together but were dorm mates and neither appreciated the idea of being called Nate 1 and Nate 2.

#

_I don’t know a William, so stop it!_

Nate Dunbar was seriously annoyed at people asking if he was this related William Dunbar and others acting as if he was and lying about it.

Other people just lamented that it feels like a lost opportunity.

#

_It’s Ciel, not C._

Ciel was not amused by this attempt of a nickname.

#

“Taretha,” Ciel hissed causing Ulrich to glance to see who his cousin was glaring at and Matthew to jerk in surprise.

“Anais’s sister?” Theo murmured in surprise and Ulrich could only shake his head in resignation as he turned to his cousin, “Was she one of the girls who-“

“Yes,” Ciel cut in with a blush, “She’s one of the perverts who sought to defile me with her eyes.”

“Excuse me,” voice cut in before anyone could respond to that statement, “I heard that you guys were doing a soccer game I wanted to know if I could join, oh I forgot my manners. I’m Fenris Durand.”

“Sure,” Jeremiah quickly agreed in order to change the subject and thus only Thomas saw the smirk on Matthew’s face as he murmured, “Taretha and Fenris,” and laughed softly.

#

_It’s rude to defile another person with your eyes._

_If you’re going to laugh at least tell people what you find so funny._

Jean-Baptiste decided to help out Ciel and that’s his story and he’s sticking to it, regardless of what anyone says.

Matthew laughs and plots behind smirks and smiles and Thomas can only shake his friend at his boyfriend’s antics being the only person aware of why he’s acting that way. Nearly everyone else is confused and would like answers.

#

_Double dates only work, when you actually ask and don’t assume that the other person is unattached._

Ashley and April decided to grab Johnny and Hiroki for a double date and grew flabbergasted when Johnny protested and Hiroki revealed that he already had a girlfriend.

#

“Trist, how was your sister’s wedding?” Pierre asked his best friend. “It was great, everything was great. The service, the food, the vows were heartwarming, and Pierre I meet someone there.” Tristan admitted with a blush.

“Really?” Pierre voiced in shock because ever since they meet at Kadic, the other boy had never noticed or seen Tristan show an interest in anyone in all the time he’d known him.

“Really,” Tristan admitted with a smile. “We technically have to wait until I graduate so certain people don’t freak out or make assumptions.” Pierre blinked in shock realization that Tristan was dating someone older, someone who had already graduated school.

Answering Pierre’s unasked question with a smirk Tristan continued. “Let’s say if things go really well, I’ll end up Ulrich’s cousin in law twice over or officially rather than proxy, depending on how someone wants to look at it.”

Eyes locked and Pierre knew of only 3 of Ulrich’s cousins and Tristan mouthed older as if reading his mind. “YOU’RE DATING ALAN ASHFORD!” His loud voice of stunned surprise and shock carried off the dorm walls and both boys heard the loud screams of “WHAT” that echoed in response.

#

_Alan Ashford is the exception to all, even those who are asexual._

_Not asexual, Alan’s just different._

_Tristan Brossard is a god!_

_I don’t need the CPT’s help; we’ve only kissed, so stop it! Besides my parents have a ten year age gap, so our seven is none of your business._

_I, Ulrich Stern, have favorites and Tristan is one of my favorites. Back off or taste my wrath!_

The news, confirmed by Ulrich’s reaction to it, that Tristan was in essence dating Alan Ashford caught everyone off guard and Tristan was disturbed by the number of jealous glares tossed his way, the fact some people declared him a god for catching Alan’s eyes and that people took offense to the age gap.

The revelation that Tristan was one of Ulrich’s favorites caught people off guard, delighted Tristan beyond measure and made people stop. For none wished to awaken the wolf’s wrath.

#

_I’m not a King so please stop it._

_THE KING IN THE NORTH!_

_Oh for the love of….._

Inspired the fear of the wolf’s wrath Ulrich was once more declared the ‘King in the North’ and there was nothing he could do or say to get people to stop.

#

_Calling out “Lucy, I’m home” when entering a classroom is only appropriate when the teacher is female._

_Now that’s sexists._ _J_

Mr. Fumet was not unamused and Brighton finds it funny.

#

_Inappropriate things are not to be drawn in art class._

Mr. Chardin was stunned to discover an anonymous drawing of a naked butt and Ulrich and Ciel were resigned once everyone realized it was an attempt to perfectly draw an Ashford ass.

#

_Whether you’re Team Sodd or Team Sadd, I think everyone can agree these shipping names need to be better._

Sam and Sissi decided to somewhat participate in the debate about who should Odd be with, mainly because they didn’t like their shipping names.

Odd was just surprised that this was still ongoing.

#

_It’s Alexandre, not Alex._

Alexandre was one of the few people who refused to have nickname and did not appreciate Nate Adams’s calling him Alex.

#

_It’s Rosa or, if you must, Ms. Petitjean. It’s not Mrs. Klotz._

_You mean it’s not Mrs. Klotz yet._

Rosa can only shake her head at the cheekiness of the students of Kadic.

#

_Things happen when you’re sick. So let’s all forgot about it._

Leo was feeling under the weather and thus even he was stuck with surprise when he ended up barfing on Adele’s shoes.

The boy was horrified but Adele was surprisingly chill about it.

#

A sudden slap caused everyone to stare in surprise at Jeremiah glaring at a laughing James.

“That was not a heroic robot anime that was a twisted mind fuck of epic proportions!”

#

_When promoting a series to someone be honest and not deceitful._

_Never mention Neon Genesis Evangelion around Jeremiah._

Jeremiah was looking for a new anime to watch and James suggested Neon Genesis Evangelion and intentionally played up the initial trailers of the series. Jeremiah was rather unprepared and unamused by the savage mind fuck and every mention of the series has been him curse both the creators of the series and James for betrayal.

#

_The name Shinji is banned from campus._

_Compromise I will stress its Shinji Ishiyama and not this Shinji Ikari._

Jeremiah twitches and mentions hospitals and fucked up horny teenagers and Hiroki doesn’t want to know but decides he will speak about his cousin when he wants too, regardless of what anyone else says.

#

_Pansexual is being attracted to someone because of who they are, regardless of gender. It is not being sexually attracted to pans._

Jeremy blames Ulrich, Ulrich finds it hilarious and Aelita’s is just happy to understand what Alan and Tristan’s sexuality means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OC’s introduced: Ciel Baxter, Nate Adams, Nate Dunbar, Fenris Durand, and Taretha Fiquet.
> 
> The Tristan – Alan thing popped in my head and wouldn’t leave, so I ran with it.


	27. Chapter 27

_It’s pronounced See’-el, not C-eel._

Ciel grew annoyed at the mispronunciation of his name.

#

_Thomas must control his boyfriend!_

Fenris Durand could only take being called Wolfbrother and Thunderlord and being told to beware the Tomb of Sargeras for so long

#

_People can only speak of other’s desires and not the rationale behind it._

Ciel and his friends were laughing over the antics within the rule sheets. Though once reading that Ulrich and Salim dated Ciel whistled and commented that Ulrich was lucky that he wasn’t related to Stephanie Moreau.

When asked why Ciel revealed that for reasons beyond his understanding his cousin’s deepest wish was to have a gay cousin.

#

_People get over crushes and start new ones. So get over it._

A fair amount of people were surprised that Hiroki had moved on from Milly and was dating Veronique.

#

“You,” Taretha jerked and stared in surprise at Matthew. “Do you have any idea the headache you’ve given me? That Fenris kid was easy since Fenris Wolfbrother was Chieftain of the Thunderlord and it all came together but you…. Taretha Foxton‘s fate in the Warcraft series makes any jokes I try black comedy and I’m not good at black comedy.”

“It’s okay Matthew….. Hey Taretha, have fun and what not,” Thomas said as he directed his boyfriend towards the dorms.

Taretha could only shake her head in confusion.

#

_Don’t blame someone just because they ruined a joke or something._

_I was not named after a video game character!_

Taretha was still confused and Fenris was so done with people asking if he was actually named after the Warcraft character.

#

_Girls can be just as perverted as guys._

_I thought this went unsaid after Naughty Things?_

A select few girls in his class attempted to bribe Nate Adams $25 to pants Ciel to see if he wore boxers and briefs. He refused, warned Ciel, and didn’t rat out the girls in question because he was just too nice.

Ciel grew suspicious, the girls in question vowed to travel under the radar, and a whole new generation learned about Naughty Things.

#

_Always knock! Just always knock!_

Leo just burns red and vows that somebody else can go get Jim from his office, regardless of the time of day. For their part Jim and Adele blush lightly and remark that it was late.

#

_I’m not inviting my uncle to come to school to be a good luck charm._

Thomas was flabbergasted at the idea of people wanting to rub his uncle’s head for good luck.

#

_Google doesn’t want to steal the firstborns of the world._

_Microsoft does not seek to dominate the world with an army of robots._

_Disney does not seek immortality through draining the happiness of its customers._

_SeaWorld is not run by dolphins in human costumes._

_For the love of all things holy don’t allow or trick Jeremy into binge drinking Coffee!_

Jeremy is just mortified; Odd is hiding to escape retribution, and everyone is torn between laughter and shock.

#

_Don’t play “Never Give You“Up by Rick Astley._

Few people at Kadic actually liked the song and Danny just wonders if they were all Rick Rolled.

#

The sudden scream caused people to glance in concern and Ulrich to run when he recognized his cousin’s voice. Out of all things he was expecting he wasn’t expecting to see Ciel and Fenris gapping at a pair of panties.

“Oh…. Right this was Terry’s and Salim’s dorm room.” Ulrich admitted with a blush.

“Change beds with me,” Fenris choked to his dorm mate and he honesty pouted when Ciel flatly refused.

#

_Dorm rooms should be thoroughly clean before the new school year begins!_

_If something hidden is found by mere luck and chance, how would you expect it to be found when the dorms are cleaned?_

_No amount of washing the sheets changes the knowledge of what has occurred on the bed!_

_Nor shall any amount of begging cause someone to agree a request._

_This is a school not a brothel!_

A bit of roughing between Ciel and Fenris caused a pair of panties to be revealed from their hiding place and both boys freaked. Fenris was further freaked when learning his bed was once Terry’s, the circumstances behind the “ _Warn your roommate!”_ rule, and grew vexed when Ciel refused to switch beds.

Mrs. Meyer’s was just shocked students had or were engaging in such activities while at school.

#

_Teenagers are naturally horny and plenty of them live at school….. So how can anyone be surprised that naughty stuff happens?_

_Must you shatter our illusions of our student’s purity?_

_Our student’s purity…..said student’s petitioned to make Naughty Things our school anthem!_

Mr. Klotz was unimpressed by Mrs. Meyer’s naivety and Principal Delmas just wondered how she could assume that the majority of the students were pure.

#

_Being a free spirit and sowing oats doesn’t make someone whorish. Especially when they are a virgin!_

_That doesn’t change the fact that certain people are date whores, who need someone like Sissi to make an honest man out of them._

_No certain people need someone like Sam to make an honest man out of them._

_Oh—_

_There will be no pairing wars on the rule sheet!_

_Something is deeply wrong when Odd Della Robbia is the mature one._

_Shush, sister dearest._

Odd took offense to being vaguely referred to as whorish and then Team Odd x Sissi and Team Odd x Sam decided to put their own two-cents.

Odd could only shake his head at their antics and his sister’s.

#

_There is always the triad option._

_It’s amazing how people can get themselves heard even after they have graduated._

More than one person felt that Emmanuel found a way to get himself heard and thus Anton slides under the radar. Meanwhile Odd, Sam, and Sissi are later seen blushing a bright deep red for their own reasons.

#

_I don’t know anyone named Sebastian nor do I have one hell of a butler._

Ciel was just confused beyond measure and people were disappointed that he had never heard Black Butler.

#

“I don’t care if you’re one of Ulrich’s favorites,” Hiroki said, “Because I’m clearly more of a favorite.” As he finished he crossed his arms. “And how do you figure that?” Tristan asked the younger teenager, the challenge clear in his voice.

“I’m going be his brother.” Hiroki stated with pure confidence.

“Brother In-law,” Tristan smoothly countered. “I’ll be related to Ulrich’s twice over.”

“If anything your sister is Ulrich’s cousin in law, you’re just by proxy.” Hiroki shoot back.

“You forgot that I’m dating Alan Ashford and our relationship is going swimmingly. So regardless of what you say I’m going to be Ulrich’s cousin in law.” Tristan countered swiftly.

“Clearly I’m Ulrich’s favorite,” Ciel said with a smirk and not only could neither Tristan nor Hiroki find away to argue it, they found themselves horrified at being caught.

#

_Ulrich Stern is the man crush god that everyone wants to be the favorite of._

Ciel is absolute convinced of this notion after witnessing Tristan’s and Hiroki’s argument.

#

_Ulrich Stern may be the man crush god, but Sarah Wellington is one of the gods of creation._

_So does that mean James Madrox is the love of a god or has transcended to godhood as well?_

_Video game companies never should be unclear with stuff like that._

Sarah could only sigh, James laughed at the Starcraft reference and other people debated exactly what happened to James Raynor at the end of it all.

#

“So who are your favorites?” Aelita asked in curiosity to Ulrich and he could practically hear the swift silence that Aelita caused.

“You are a devious child,” seated near him Odd and Jeremy wordlessly nodded in agreement. “And because none of you are going to drop it.” A pointed look at his classmates in the classroom and even Mrs. Hertz who was pretending to be absorbed in other matters in this rare moment of free time. “Over all relatives, friends, and people who man crush on me. Yes,” Ulrich nodded at their look of their shock and confusion. “I think being the target of a man crush is something to be proud of and thus how could I not favor them when they have chosen to favor me. In all honesty I prefer being man crushed on than fangirled over….. Fangirls are the worst.” Ulrich finished with a nod as if he was passing sage advice.

#

_To be man crushed on is an honor and to be fangirled on is apparently a bad thing._

_Of course it is fangirls and fanboys defile others with their eyes!_

Julien decided to pass on the words of the wisdom and Ciel is complete agreement with his cousin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anton Sinclair is an OC in Tristan’s year and there are people who must immediately have another when drinking something and Jeremy is that way with coffee.


	28. Chapter 28

“ _Oh Sissi,  
Oh Sissi Delmas,  
How do you feel?  
Knowing that Ulrich,   
Would rather,   
Be Gay than date you?  
  
Oh Sissi---“_

Tristan and his friends never got to finish their song as with an enraged howl Sissi charged at them and they bolted.

#

_It is not wise to poke the bear._

_Don’t harm someone for trying to help!_

Sissi was enraged by the song created by Tristan, Pierre, Jeremiah, and James and smacked Nicholas upside the head at his way of helping.

#

_Yolanda does not seek to devour the souls of the young._

_Nor does she wish to invoke demons with your fear._

_What is it about the soccer club that attracts those afraid of needles?_

Jim was unimpressed at the soccer clubs fear of needles, and Yolanda laughs until she’s breathless.

#

_King Explosion Murder is not an appropriate name for a turtle!_

_I was seven and don’t dis my turtle._

A discussion about pets revealed surprised and shocked a lot of people when they discovered that Ulrich once had a pet turtle he named King Explosion Murder.

#

_Cousin Alan can be a horrible, horrible influence at times._

It’s Ulrich’s only explanation for naming his pet turtle King Explosion Murder.

#

_Practice all year keeps us at the top, peasants._

_Your classmates are not peasants._

The fact that it wasn’t soccer season and the soccer club was starting up confused more than one person.

Theo thought he was hilarious, others not so much.

#

_We know no king but the King in the North whose name is Stern!_

_Can we not make this a running gag?_

_No promises._

Because some people can’t stop themselves, Theo wonders if he triggered them, and Ulrich is just so done with it all.

#

_Remove the balloons now!_

Upon seeing tied up balloons with the saying “We all float” on them Felix screamed, bolted, and refused to come out of the dorm room until the balloons were removed.

#

“What if we not real? Like we’re just characters in some story?” Brighton raised an eyebrow at his friend, while his other hand reached into his backpack. “Catch,” he declared after a moment and Takuya only blinked in surprise after catching the snickers tossed his way.

“You need the sugar to keep your head on straight, so eat a snicker,” Brighton said and Takuya could only nod and just before he was about eat it he asked, “Why do you have snickers in your backpack?”

“Why shouldn’t I have snickers in my backpack?” There was nothing he could respond to that with and thus Takuya simply drove into the treat.

#

_Some people have sugar rushes, others have sugar lows._

_Always be prepared for candy emergencies._

Takuya gets weird on sugar lows and Brighton always had emergency chocolate on hand.

#

_Ultra Violent Death Claw is not an appropriate name for a ferret!_

_My little ferret of death was awesome!_

_You truly belong in the Ashford family._

Not to be outdone by Ulrich’s pet turtle King Explosion Murder, Tristan revealed that he had a pet ferret named Ultra Violent Death Claw. People were shocked, horrified, and Ulrich and Ciel immediately declared him a proper member of the Ashford family.

#

_Regardless of what anyone tells you gnomes don’t sleep under the school._

_Said gnomes don’t plot to steal your underwear in some bizarre Step 1, Step 3 that doesn’t have a Step 2._

The new students as a whole are offended that anyone thought they would fall for it and Bastien has no regrets.

#

_Ending your sentences with “As the Prince in the North commands” doesn’t mean your requests will be followed._

Ciel sought to take advantage and pouted when it was denied.

#

_There is no trick to it, you can or cannot lift one eyebrow and thus shouldn’t pay someone to teach you._

_Don’t be so hasty cash-killer!_

_…..I stand corrected._

Mrs. Meyer was flabbergasted at discovering students paying Brighton to teach them to lift one eyebrow and became further shocked when she discovered that it was actually possible.

#

_LARPING is one thing but you are to never ever LARP as people at this school._

Odd thought it was funny but his friends put their foot down.

#

_You cannot commandeer someone else’s property!_

_In the name of Code Geass we shall!_

_Stop encouraging them._

_You either like Code Geass or you’re wrong._

Jeremy didn’t appreciate his computer being commandeered by Tristan, Pierre, Ciel, Hiroki and he further laments Ulrich’s encouragement of them.

#

_Cats are superior to dogs in every way._

_No dogs are superior!_

_CATS!_

_DOGS!_

_There will be no animal wars on the rule sheet._

Anton prefers cats; Odd took offense on Kiwi’s behalf, and Ciel barked every time he saw Anton.

#

_Drop kicking midgets is not a proper life goal!_

_But it’s on my bucket list!_

Thomas is offended, Nate Dunbar has no regrets, and everyone else wonders how a midget could be drop kicked.

#

_Pretending that you don’t see someone doesn’t prevent them from seeing you and issuing the detention you deserve._

Johnny could only sigh as Hiroki shook his head at the other boy.

#

_I don’t care if it was a dare; I don’t care if it was boredom, never ever call me pimpmaster again!_

Principal Delmas decided he was not going to deal with the warped humor of some of his students.

#

_Clowns don’t eat souls._

Sandra could only shake her head at everyone else’s naivety.

#

_The phrase firm, so tightly, firm should not be taken out of context!_

Xavier is blushing bright red and his friends just won’t stop laughing.

#

_Teachers don’t need drum rolls to announce their entry into classrooms._

Emilio winged it and the teachers were confused.

#

_Not everyone who accepted Super Ultra Mega Death Man as a bunny name did so because they have or had a similar name choice about their own pet._

Remembering how Ulrich and Tristan didn’t bat at eye at his bunny choice name and in light of the names they had for their own pets convinced Mohammed that everyone else who accepted his pet name choice must have had similar pet name choices.

Takuya, Pierre, Jeremy, Julie, Anouche, Sandra, and Nicholas were just so done with being pestered.

#

_Despite how cool it would be I am sadly not a DigiDestined._

_That’s what a secret DigiDestined would say!_

Takuya smirks, Leo trolls and everyone else just rolls with it.

#

_The swimming pool will not be cleared so you can catch a Pokemon._

_….But it was a Totodile, I need the Totodile to complete the set!_

Sarah would not be swayed, James scored boyfriend points, and Leo and Danny couldn’t care less about Pokemon Go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takuya Ishida is an OC is Milly’s year.
> 
> As of now the main players of the Kadic Soccer team that play on the field are as follows: Ulrich Stern, Theo Gauthier, Thomas Jolivet, Matthew Ducrocq, Tristan Brossard, and Fenris Durand.  
> Players that are switched in and out include Pierre Francois, Jean-Baptiste Pujol, James Madrox, Jeremiah Fumet, Ciel Baxter, Nate Adams, and Nate Dunbar.


	29. Chapter 29

_Don’t wolf whistle about my ass!_

_Don’t curse on the rule sheet!_

When Ciel bent over to pick up the folder he dropped he did not appreciate being wolf whistled at and the CPT drew the line at him cursing on the rule sheet.

#

_Never be gleeful at another’s suffering._

_Now, now children there are exceptions._

News of Thomas Vincent’s firing spread like wildfire and while most were content at snickering at man who sought to tell his own story over the truth about Kadic’s success in the educational system, Rosa was vindictively gleeful and could be heard humming a cheery tune.

It disturbed more than one person.

#

_TEAM SASIODD SHALL CEASE!_

Certain residence at Kadic could not deal with shipping group in support of a Sam, Sissi, and Odd triad.

Meanwhile Sam was shocked, Sissi flabbergasted, both girls couldn’t look at each other without blushing, and Odd turned thoughtful.

#

_Dogs should not be named cat._

_Cats should not be named dog._

_We hear ya but it doesn’t change the fact that it would be hilarious._

Danny and Leo think a great way to create confusion and hilarity would to name a dog cat and a cat dog and Shirley can only shake at her head at their antics.

#

_The pigeon incident shall be spoken of again!_

Sandra is very firm on the matter.

#

_Don’t measure others with chopsticks._

Hertz was flabbergasted and certain students were disappointed.

#

_Thunderwolf is acceptable._

Fenris could very much get behind being called Thunderwolf.

#

“In honor of the approaching Halloween,” Thomas began, “What is your scariest and/or freakiest experience?” He finished with a look towards the new players on the soccer team. After a moment Ciel answered, “Well mine would be the cultist,” and at seeing the looks on everyone’s faces Ciel began his tale.

“When I was seven my family was driving home from a family reunion and we got a flat tire. As my father was changing the tire, my mother made this chocking sound, and when we looked we saw these people dressed in animal outfits getting out their own vehicles. I remember my parents telling me to get back in the car immediately, this person dressed as a horse telling my parents not to judge them, watching as they went into the woods, and then driving off once the tire was successfully changed.”

“Cultist,” Matthew made a chocking noise and not noticing the tone Ciel continued, “Well I wasn’t sure at first but the more hostile and disturbed my parents got about those people and my questions about them…. I realized that they must have been cultist, nothing else would disturb my parents more.”

Matthew and Theo suddenly collapsed to the ground in laughter, Pierre, Thomas, and James were giggling, Nate Adams was blushing like no tomorrow, Nate Dunbar was blinking owlishly nonstop, and Ciel noticed Jean-Baptiste looking at him in morbid fascination.

“Jeremiah no,” Ulrich stated at seeing the other boy’s grin, “Jeremiah yes,” Jeremiah countered, “Ciel those weren’t cultists those—“Exactly what they were Ciel didn’t hear because Ulrich launched himself at the other boy with a roar. “I’m not dealing with this!” Because clearly as Ciel’s cousin Ulrich would be the one Ciel would turn too if he learned the truth, “Anyone who says anything about this will taste my wrath!”

#

_Certain life experiences shouldn’t be shared._

_One should never laugh or joke about cultists._

_Don’t say a word, don’t say a word, and my wraith will stay contained!_

Seeking scary and freaky stories in honor of Halloween Thomas asked the newest members of the soccer team for their stories. In turn Ciel recalled the time his family encountered furies, but the reactions of all involved convinced boy that they were cultists. Thus he was floored when laughter ensured after he finished his tale and Ulrich was a vocal advocate of keeping him in the dark because he didn’t want to deal with explaining furies at all.

#

_For the last time Naughty Things will not be Kadic’s school anthem._

_Cease with the petitions!_

Principal Delmas was so done with receiving petitions to change Kadic’s school anthem to Naughty Things.

#

_Don’t whistle, leer, or make any comments about a fine booty._

_You will be ended otherwise._

Anouche was not flattered in the slightest of the reactions when she bent over to pick up what she dropped.

#

_Teachers can’t be sued for issuing detentions._

Mr. Chardin can only shake his head.

#

_There are no alligators in the sewers._

Taretha doesn’t care what anyone says, she knows of the beasts within the sewers.

#

_The floor is not lava._

_Don’t do over the top reactions!_

Nate Adams found it all hilarious, his teachers less so.

#

_Don’t be jealous of another’s skills._

_I am not jealous!_

Fenris could only take Ciel’s hidden jealousy about his superior soccer skills for so long.

#

_October 17 Th didn’t happen._

Thomas, Matthew, Theo, and Paul are very adamant about the fact.

#

_There shall no educating students on matters they don’t need to educate on!_

_Just because certain students are not innocent on some manners, doesn’t make it time to corrupt them fully!_

The CPT was not amused at the older girls who decided to educate Milly and Tamiya.

#

_Xavier is no longer allowed to pick movies for movie night._

_Xavier is allowed to pick movies for movie night._

_No you are not because you picked Sharknado. People who pick Sharknado for movie night are not allowed to ever pick movies for movie night ever again!_

Xavier is offended and Emilio is firm that his taste in movies is terrible.

#

_Alan Ashford finding Ashford Butts being a thing hilarious does not mean you can create a Kadic Holiday about it!_

_Principal Delmas is awesome!_

Tristan won’t stop laughing, Ulrich worries about the sanity of others, Ciel is horrified behind measure, the girls have no regrets, and Principal Delmas firmly supports Ulrich and Ciel on stamping it out.

#

_Naomi is banned from playing the drums._

_Don’t be a hater._

_It’s less being a hater and more pointing that you are bad at playing the drums._

Naomi is outraged and Sophie maintains that she is just being brutality honest.

#

_Just because two people hang around out nearly all the time doesn’t mean that they are dating._

_Don’t blame innocent people for the assumption others._

Nicholas and Herb are stunned and the rest of their year is surprised that people actually thought the two were dating.

At the same time Matthew is unimpressed and Thomas is unamused at Herb and Nicholas trying to blame them for the assumptions of others.

#

_We don’t care if you ship it, we don’t care if you don’t ship it, and none of the couples at Kadic need Kelly’s Seal of Approval._

Kelly objected to the idea of Herb x Nicholas on the grounds that she didn’t ship it and spiraled into revelations that surprised everyone.

#

_The groundskeeper is named Michael Rouiler not Willie._

Michael Rouiler as it turned out wasn’t a fan of the Simpsons.

#

_Telling someone that they saw nothing doesn’t mean that they saw nothing._

Over all Mr. Fumet had to admit it was one of the more creative ways to get out of a detention and Mohammed is still adamant that Mr. Fumet saw nothing.

#

_The Kadic Soccer club is not the royal guard for the King and Prince of the North._

Ciel gloats that he was recognized Prince of the North, Ulrich does in fact find it funny, and the Kadic Soccer club actually take to serving as an honor guard for a day and a half.

#

_Don’t question things._

It’s Brighton’s response as to why he always has an emergency stash of chocolate in his backpack.

#

_Digimon is clearly better than Pokemon._

_No Pokemon is better than Digimon!_

_Digimon!_

_Pokemon!_

_There shall be no MON WARS on the rule sheet!_

Danny and James declared the lines and Ashley refused to let them argue through the rule sheet.


	30. Chapter 30

_Enjoy this lovely Halloween!_

_HAHAHAHA_

Danny just grins.

_#_

_Beware the beast of Caerbannog! For it shall feast on your soul!_

Leo won’t stop laughing.

#

_Idly hands may be the Devil's play-things but your hand was not possessed._

_Why would something possess a hand to flip someone off?_

Hertz wasn’t amused at Anton’s insistence that his hand was possessed and thus shouldn’t be held accountable for the actions performed by his hand.

#

_The Night is dark and full of Terrors._

Rosa raised a few eyebrows and others high fived her.

#

_Happy Hallows End!_

_It’s Halloween! This isn’t Azeroth!_

Warcraft fans smirk and don’t care for any objections.

#

_You are not the Headless Horseman._

_Silence naïve and prepare thyself as fate wheels turn!_

_For the time has come, the reckoning has come!_

No is cure if Ciel is on a sugar rush or not but Ulrich is oddly proud all the same.

#

_Dressing as a witch isn’t helping the rumors the soccer club has generated._

Yolanda crackles like a demonic witch at seeing the rule which doesn’t help things at all.

#

_We are not making a robot army of werewolves and giants in order to take over the world._

Jeremy and Herb honesty don’t know what’s gotten into people these days.

#

_You are not a vampire and no one needs to let you suck their blood._

Pierre just laughs, Lola is unimpressed, and Tristan grins.

#

_There will no sacrifices preformed to the Great Pumpkin._

_….Second thought there will no sacrifices at all._

Nate Dunbar can’t stop himself and Adele is quick on the uptake to nip it all in the bud.

#

_The_ _jukebox has not been cursed._

_Fix my damn jukebox then!_

_It’s not your jukebox!_

_Don’t curse on the rule sheet!_

_Hey CPT Fuck, Bitch, Shit, Ass, Mother Fucker, enjoy these curse words CPT!_

Emilio wants his dam jukebox fixed; Mr. Fumet is not allowing students to claim school property, the CPT would like for people to not curse on the rule sheet, and Jeremiah was egged on by his friends.

#

_Since neither of us is named Carly Beth…. Keep that mask away from us!_

Felix was bored and neither Milly nor Tamiya appreciate his attempts to get them to wear the Goosebumps monster mask.

#

_Don’t black line rules on the rule sheet!_

_It wasn’t a rule; it was your line of cursing!_

The CPT drew a giant dark single line over Jeremiah’s rule and the boy was offended that his work was covered.

#

_Costumes must make sense!_

Takuya dressed as DigiDestined-Pokemon trainer and neither Danny nor James could accept the merger.

#

_You are the not fellowship and the one ring is not located inside the kitchen._

James, Brighton, Emilio, Mohammed, and Xavier got caught trying and failing to raid the kitchen. Suffice to say Rosa did not buy their excuse in the slightest.

#

_Anyone who actually buys a love potion deserves what they get._

Jean-Baptiste has no cares for fools and Paul is disturbed by the fanaticism of fangirls.

#

_None of us are dressing as werewolves._

Ulrich, Tristan, Ciel, and Fenris were so done with requests to dress as werewolves for Halloween.

#

The cafeteria suddenly went dark enveloping the students in darkness but before panic could set in music filled the building and as the lights adjusted themselves into a more Halloween festive theme, the singing began.

_ "Boys and girls of Kadic,  
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?  
That’s not Jim’s face? _

_ Come dance with us and celebrate  
Halloween in our School of Kadic.  _

_ This is Halloween; this is Halloween  
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night _

_ This is Halloween, everybody make a scene  
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright  
It's our school, everybody scream  
For Halloween in our School of Kadic! _

_ I am the one hiding under your bed  
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red _

_ I am the one hiding under your desks  
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair _

_ This is Halloween, this is Halloween _

_ Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!  
In this school we call home,   
Everyone hail to the Northern King _

_ In this school, don't we love it now?  
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise _

_ 'Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can,   
Something's waiting no to pounce, and how you'll _

_ Scream! This is Halloween  
Red 'n' black, and slimy green _

_ Aren't you scared? _

_ Well, that's just fine  
Say it once, say it twice  
Take a chance and roll the dice  
Ride with the moon in the dead of night _

_ Everybody screams, everybody scream _

_ For Halloween in our School of Kadic! _

_ I am the clown with the tear-away face,   
Here in a flash and gone without a trace _

_ I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"  
I am the wind blowing through your hair _

_ I am the shadow on the moon at night,   
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright _

_ This is Halloween, this is Halloween  
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!  
Halloween! Halloween! _

_ Tender lumplings everywhere  
Life's no fun without a good scare _

_ That's our job, but we're not mean,  
For Halloween in our School of Kadic _

_ In this school _

_ Don't we love it now? _

_ Everybody's waiting for the next surprise  
King Ulrich might catch you in the back  
And howl like a wolf  
Make you jump out of your skin  
This is Halloween, everybody scream  
Won't ya please make way for a very special guy _

_ Our man Ulrich is King in the North!  
Everyone hail to the Northern King, now! _

_ This is Halloween, this is Halloween  
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! _

_ In this school we call home,  
Everyone hail to the Northern King." _

In the mixed of applause and cheering Odd, Theo, Matthew, Thomas, and Bastien suddenly jumped in fright when a most sinister wolf howl came from behind them. They spun around meeting Ulrich’s eyes which screamed of retribution, a sinister smirk on his face, and they ran like the devil was after them as Ulrich moved forward.

Applause turned to laughter and Ulrich actually falls to ground unable to keep the laughter suppressed as his amusement bellows out for all to see.

#

_My beloved has a handsome, sexy face._

_Awesome performances should celebrate and the performers should be honored by all._

_The King in the North can troll who he likes._

_Don’t rip off songs like that!_

Odd, Theo, Matthew, Thomas, and Bastien decided to perform a Halloween concert which was honored by all. Then Ulrich decided to give them a fright and waves off any complaints on the grounds of everyone making him King in the North and thus he can troll who he wants.

Meanwhile Adele and Jim are offended by the remark about his face being strange; Odd is gagging at their declaration, and Sorya is a bit offended by the blatant rip off of “ _This is Halloween_ ” by Marilyn Manson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally posted on FFN on Halloween.


	31. Chapter 31

_There will be no photobombing._

_It was accident._

_You were an accident._

It was at this point that Pierre punched Julien in the face and it dissolved from there.

#

_Let’s all play nice now and not have a fight in front of the rule sheet._

Sophie felt that it had to be stated at this point.

#

_When two people break up the proper response is to be support your friend who was dumped not turn to your other friends and tell them to pay up._

Hiroki hated his friends sometimes.

#

_The proper thing to do when things get crazy is get an adult and not handle it yourself._

_….October 17 th didn’t happen, Mr. Fumet._

Mr. Fumet snorts, Thomas, Matthew, Theo, and Paul are still very adamant about the fact that October 17th didn’t happen and everyone is even more curious.

#

_It’s not chocolate boy, its chocolate man._

Over time Brighton’s discovered habit of having some type chocolate in his backpack created a nickname that he objected too.

#

_The love lives of the Kadic Staff are none of the student’s business._

_We just want to know when certain people will man up and propose and wedding dates and stuff._

Thiery, Tania, and Sorya are shameless and Jim, Principal Delmas, and Nicole do not appreciate their privacy being invaded.

On the other hand when she is asked Adele just laughs.

#

_Not going to lie farting out a tune to the beat of ‘It’s a Song That Never Ends’ would be pretty cool._

Nicholas admits this with pure honesty, Herb is disgusted, and everyone wants to know what runs through Nicholas’s head.

#

_Kissing Booths are not allowed on Kadic property._

Anne sighs and is at least content with her money.

#

_There will be no bungee jumping out of the windows!_

_…How did we go from unwilling defenestration to this?!_

Brighton, Takuya, and Tristan maintain it was a blast and Jim is not encouraging this insanity.

#

_If I hear one more took an arrow in the knee joke, I shall end you all!_

No one wanted to test Emily after her declaration.

#

_School staff shouldn’t sing Naughty Things!_

_….It’s catchy!_

Mrs. Meyers was horrified and Mr. Klotz maintains that it’s a catchy tune.

#

_When the sprinklers turn on your not to throw someone into them and then scream that the witch isn’t melting!_

Milly and Tamiya thought it would be hilarious to throw Sissi into the sprinklers and run screaming that witch wasn’t melting. Naturally Sissi became encouraged, charged into her room to change, and is currently plotting vengeance.

#

_You cannot ban a show because you don’t like or enjoy its plot twist._

The Once Upon A Time portrayal of Peter Pan offended more than one person.

#

“How would you stop a dragon?” Fenris raised an eyebrow at Nate Adam’s random question but answered with. “I would have a squad of griffins work together to bring the dragon down.”

“I would use a legion of hippogryphs with skilled riders and archers on their backs.” Ciel declared to Nate’s question. A snort caused the three boys to turn to Nate Dunbar who smirked and said, “All I need is a catapult, a cow, and some drugs. Hey don’t give me that look…. Listen, you feed the cow a bunch of drugs, secure it inside the catapult and then you launch the cow at the dragon. The dragon will swoop in, eat the cow, and then all the drugs will make the dragon fall asleep. That way the dragon is stopped and could become a fearsome pet.”

There was a moment of jaw dropped silence left in the wake of Nate Dunbar’s game plan to stop a dragon.

#

_Be prepared for random thoughts and the random questions that they cause to come out of nowhere._

_The words cow, drugs, catapult, and dragon should never be used in the same sentence again._

_Jealously shouldn’t lead to someone’s awesome game plan being shunned!_

Nate Adam’s random thought morphed into a question of how one would stop a dragon. Fenris and Ciel answered in fashions that made sense but Nate Dunbar’s suggestion of how he drop stop the dragon with a drug filled cow left them all with their jaws hanging.

Nate Dunbar maintains that the other three are just jealous and the boys in question are unable to deal with game plan to stop a dragon.

#

_NEVER MOON ANYONE!_

Jeremiah is freaked out; James laughs himself sick and even Sarah giggles at her boyfriend’s antics.

#

_Despite his hair style Mr. Chardin is not a mad scientist._

_Who are you to dis my style you wrinkly old woman!_

_Chemicals are only to be used in a responsible and controlled manner and not as a method of vengeance._

_You two are both adults, not children!_

_STOP INFECTING THE FACULITY WITH YOUR INSANITY!_

_They are one of us now!_

Mr. Chardin was unimpressed with the rumors and further unimpressed at Hertz’s way of helping him. Hertz went into vengeance mode at his way of dealing with her unwanted help, Nicole Weber had to put her foot down on the both of them, and Delmas is horrified that the insanity has infected two of the most leveled headed members of the faculty.

The students are naturally thrilled at the drama.

#

_Stop throwing glitter at people._

Rhonda was in a mood.

#

_Students don’t have authority over students._

Sandra’s pouting that she was cute didn’t help at all and Tamiya was laughing her head off.

#

_When a ferret finds itself on school grounds, don’t chase it._

_That ferret stole private property!_

_….October 17 th didn’t happen, Ulrich._

Ulrich smirks, while Theo glares and joins Thomas, Matthew, and Paul in declaring that October 17th didn’t happen.

#

_Hating a fictional character to the point of watching a looping video of their death shouldn’t be done._

_Especially if you are going to cackle and claim you have a song in your heart to go along with the smile on your face._

Needless to say Alexandre freaked out and disturbed more than one person.

#

_Despite popular opinion Ulrich Stern is not a sex god._

_Oh yes he is, very much so._

Ulrich isn’t even fazed in the slightest and Aelita is just tired of the other girls describing him as such.

#

_Jeremy does not any plans for world domination._

Jeremy is honesty offended and yet intrigued at the same time at the latest turn of the rumor mill.

#

_Detentions should only be given when the person in question did something to deserve them._

_Actions taken in video games will never warrant detentions._

_…..Some people are really petty._

_Some people need to think better on their actions._

Principal Delmas was caught off guard when Bastien managed to kill him in Call of Duty and perhaps that would have been the end of it, him experiencing death in Call of Duty multiplayer for the first name and Bastien experiencing a boost popularity except that Bastien decided to go a step further and t-bagged him.

When his attempt to assign Bastien detentions were denied and argued out by the rational minded Delmas sought vengeance and proceeded to spend what felt like hours upon hours killing Bastien throughout Call of Duty.

#

_Never refer to me going to Target for the first time as losing my Target virginity ever again._

Milly was disturbed by this declaration from her friends.

#

_Naming one of my World of Warcraft battle pets Sinister Angel of Death doesn’t mean I’m a part of the insane pet name group._

Matthew was offended and pointed out that the name made perfect sense since the battle pet in question was the Unborn Val’kyr and Ulrich, Tristan, Ciel, and Mohammed were a mix of amused and offended at being declared the insane pet name group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time of writing this chapter the Code Lyoko wiki listed Emily as being in Ulrich’s year and since I couldn’t recall her exact grade I used that information going forward.  
> Fun fact the target virginity rule was inspired by how my sister reacted to me going to Target for the first time.


	32. Chapter 32

_Seriously don’t throw glitter people at people._

Rhonda impressed no one but herself.

#

_Never awaken the devil within Sissi Delmas._

Milly and Tamiya are haunted and refuse to speak of it, Ulrich is surprised at how pissed off Sissi was about being sprinkled and the measure of her vengeance, and Sissi feels no guilt.

#

_Someone enjoying bungee jumping out the window is not an invitation to try and push said person out the window, I don’t care that it was first floor._

_When attempting humor at another’s expensive be aware of the consequences._

Tristan had no desire to be pushed out the window and now Jeremiah is walking with a black eye to show the folly of his actions.

#

_When an animal causes you to smack yourself into a door you’ve officially lost to an animal._

_It was an accidental error and October 17 th didn’t happen!_

Paul did not appreciate this reminder at all of the day he insists never happened.

#

_Alliance sucks, Horde rules!_

_Horde blows, Alliance rules!_

_Faction conflicts are to remain in the game and not on the rule sheet._

Certain fans of the Horde and Alliance decided to be immature and Matthew was quick to put his food down.

#

_Never ask for make out, fake outs._

_I don’t care if you call it practice, I will not make out with someone I have no desire to make out with!_

Shirley is firm on the matter and Brighton pouts at being denied by another girl.

#

_I’m not a Quincy and nor would I want to be one._

Takuya only shake at his head at what he considers bored 6th graders.

#

_Jeremy is not a secret evil overlord._

_Jeremy never blackmailed Ulrich, Odd, and Yumi, because he is a good person and not because you believe that the three in question are simply too sexy to be blackmailed._

_Jeremy did not build Aelita in a robotic factory and pay Odd’s family to claim that she was related to them._

_Jeremy doesn’t have a hidden robotic army that he will unleash in order to take over the world._

_Stop picking on him!_

Jeremy and Aelita are surprised and floored and Ulrich thinks that the rumor creators were simply bored as fuck and Odd laughs at the too sexy to be blackmailed comment.

#

_Regardless of how hot you think someone is, there is no way that they can seduce someone by doing nothing but eating a pizza._

Yolanda isn’t sure if she should feel flattered or take offense that Rosa thinks she couldn’t seduce someone by simply eating a pizza.

#

_There is no such thing as an honorary Ashford Butt._

_Sometimes the universe gives you one._

James is surprised and blushes like mad, Sarah alternatives between laughing at her boyfriend’s plight and glaring at girls giggling at him, and Jeremiah considers it the universe avenging him.

#

_I don’t have a twin, let alone an evil twin._

_I didn’t take over said nonexistence twin’s identity as my own._

_….Certain plot twists in stories are dumb and can kill interest._

Ciel is lost and Thomas declared that he is forever done with Black Butler, Matthew is on the fence, and Bastien is willing to hear it out.

#

_There is no such thing as a good twin and an evil twin._

Ashley and April blame Thomas who doesn’t even notice what he inadvertently caused.

#

_The proper response to “what did you do last night” will never be your mom._

_Rhetorical questions blunders can get fatal._

In Theo’s defense he was tired and maintains that Emily was asking for it because she knew exactly what he was doing last night. However the girl in question didn’t see it that way and thus Theo now has sore shins.

#

_I’m not scrawny, I’m svelte._

It was a testament to his annoyance that Odd felt that he needed to establish it as a rule.

#

_You are not Michael Jackson and will cease moon walking._

Nate Adams got in a moon walking phase and pouts so very hard at the rule.

#

_Just because you favorite bra dies, doesn’t mean you have to give it a funeral._

Adele laughs herself sick, Jim has no words for what he discovered and Anouche, Anne, and Veronique feel perfectly justified.

#

_Girls not dating you don’t mean that they are lesbians….. Get over yourself._

_Don’t blame me for rumors I had no part it!_

Rhonda is not convinced, Shirley wavers in doubt, and Brighton is offended that he was accused of creating rumors in the first place.

#

_When a girl who your friend likes decides to give them a chance you should happy for your friend and not think that it’s a pity date!_

Pierre was offended, Lola glared at everyone, and Xavier was dodging the both of them.

#

_You are not allowed to place bets about the love lives of the school faculty._

Felix maintains that he is simply the bookie and Sandra, Ninon, and Sandra fail at protesting their innocence.

#

“The hell…..” Ulrich trailed off as he stared gob smacked at the three people around Odd’s bed who had jumped up when he entered the room. Sissi was blushing, Sam was frozen, both girls were looking at anywhere but him, and Odd seemed vacant.

After a moment of silence Sam and Sissi left the room hand in hand and as the door closed behind Ulrich sat on the bed next to Odd. “We talked about the pairing wars and stuff” Odd spoke after a moment, “and well….. Team Sassi won. Did we make them lesbians?” He finished as he turned to look at Ulrich.

After a moment of silence Ulrich responded with, “I have no idea, but either way it’s hot.”

#

_Triads will never happen, you perverts._

_No one made anyone a lesbian._

_Don’t lock yourself in your room because your one true pairing didn’t happen or you now believe it has no chance of happening._

_Pick a mood and stay with it!_

The revelation that Sissi and Sam were dating one another shocked nearly everyone, disappointed Team SASIODD beyond measure, caused a bunch of rumors ranging from secretly lesbianism, the pair being exceptions with another one, and even the girls turning lesbian because of Ulrich and Odd.

While Sissi and Sam were annoyed and didn’t appreciate the intrusion, vehement Sam x Odd and Sissi x Odd shippers became dramatic and locked themselves in their room, and Herb alternated between a sense of despair at believing he would never have a chance with Sissi to giggling like a school girl as his face burned.

#

_Blood Howl Devourer of Hope is not an appropriate name for a parrot!_

Someone finally got around to asking Ciel what he had named his pet and people were not surprised upon feeling flabbergasted.

#

_Regardless of what you or anyone else believes, no one is too sexy to receive detention._

_You cannot picket, file complaints, or protest people receiving detention for legitimate reasons. We don’t care that you think they are too sexy, we don’t care that the ship is too cool to be in trouble, those boys earned the detention and they shall carry out the sentence!_

Thomas and Matthew maintain that the other is simply too sexy to receive detention and their fangirls vehemently declare that both of them are too sexy to be punished.

#

_People break up because they lose interest not because of negative stereotypes!_

_Do not doubt the Ishiyama Sword!_

_No one needed to what you name your….thing!_

Hiroki is blushing in a mix of shock and anger, Veronique honesty doesn’t know how rumors let this get started and is disturbed, and everyone else honestly didn’t need to know what Hiroki named his penis.

#

_You’ll float too…. You’ll float too…. You’ll float too….._

_Never dress as Pennywise the Dancing Clown!_

Jim lost a bet and blames Adele. Meanwhile his girlfriend just laughs and plenty of students are disturbed beyond measure.

#

_Have no fear for the turtle will save us!_

Leo is a huge Stephen King fan and took delight in educating the ignorant about the turtle.

#

_When you throw glitter at people, glitter is thrown at you._

Rhonda wouldn’t stop and suffered the consequences.


	33. Chapter 33

_The proper response to getting a paper cut is to hiss, jerk, or even softly curse in surprise._

_You should never respond by standing up and declaring that not only have you’ve been punished for reading but that Jeremy has lied to you about reading being fun._

Odd got a paper cut and decided to be dramatic, Ulrich finds it hilarious, and Jeremy is just dismayed at Odd’s antics.

#

“What’s that on your face?” Sarah asked her boyfriend as she walked towards him. James blinked before smiling, and replying with, “I’m growing a mustache, you like it?”

“That’s not a mustache, that’s peach fuzz.” Ignoring James offended look Sarah grabbed his hand and marched him towards his dorm room as she found his razors and shaving cream. “Now get rid of it because even if you could actually grow a mustache I wouldn’t kiss you. Now march!”

“Yes dear,” James murmured as he followed his girlfriend’s command.

#

_Some people can’t grow facial hair, other people simply don’t find facial hair of any kind attractive, and certain people wear the pants in the relationship._

_Well it is the Queen Bit--_

_Don’t kick people in the shins!_

James tried to grow a mustache and not only did said mustache not properly grow in, his girlfriend Sarah vehemently objected and forced him to shave it off. Naturally more than one person was convinced that Sarah wore the pants in the relationship and Xavier ended up kicked in the shins when he sought to declare her once more Queen Bitch of the Universe.

#

_Don’t accuse someone of owning a watch that lets them see mythical creatures._

_That’s correct there is no such thing as Yo-kai and there is not most certainly not a Yo-kai responsible for stealing socks, the occasional lost pair of underwear, missing toilet paper, or moving someone’s property into places they don’t remember placing said property._

_This is not a suspiciously specific denial._

Nate Adams was accused of being able to interact with mythical creatures known as Yo-kai with his watch and not only did he deny it Fenris went the extra mile by helping him disapprove any rumors to the contrary.

However despite the help the rumors amazingly persisted.

#

_Someone wearing an ascot doesn’t mean that the person in question is gay or bi._

Upon learning that Mr. Fumet and his girlfriend had broken up Danny asked Jeremiah when his uncle was ready to come out of his closet. Upon a confused Jeremiah further pressing for answers Danny revealed his belief that his uncle was either secretly gay or bi because he wears an ascot.

Suffice to say plenty of people were floored.

#

_We are not working on making a zombie virus because for one we are not insane and two zombies are completely uncontrollable._

Jeremy, Herb, and Emily were seen working on a project and strange rumors came about. However the three decided to have some fun and thus the rumors didn’t die their natural death.

#

_Mr. Chardin will never turn someone into a living puppet._

_When you accidentally inhale paint fumes go to Yolanda immediately!_

Upon hearing the most bizarre rumor about himself Mr. Chardin can only reach one conclusion about their creation and decided to take immediate action.

#

_The Sassi Fanboys are to stop staring immediately!_

_But it’s so hot!_

_Don’t awaken the demon within!_

Sam’s and Sissi’s fanboys couldn’t help but stare, the girls had enough, and only Milly and Tamiya decided to warn said boys before it was too late.

#

_UFO sightings are not a bizarre galactic game of tag._

_Yes, UFO sightings are an intergalactic game of tag in which universal peace is obtained by screwing with those who have yet to reach the stars._

Pierre is very firm on the manner, Tristan and Lola have been swayed, and Emilio is vehemently against it.

#

_When an animal attacks someone they lose all rights to call themselves the animal whisperer._

_October 17 th didn’t happen._

Matthew grumbles.

#

_Prince Albert is not in the can._

_The refrigerator is not running._

_The buses are not mysteriously driving by themselves._

_The toilets are not haunted._

_There shall be no prank calls._

Mr. Fumet was unimpressed and somewhat suspicious of the students, who were offended that he could ever think they would be so obvious.

#

_Felix Moon is not a werecat._

Felix could only sigh.

#

_Don’t make fake fart noises, especially if they actually cause a gigantic huge fart to occur._

While Taretha was sickened by it Fenris was mildly impressed by the antics of their classmates.

#

_The school doesn’t have a pet mascot._

_Cease the annoying whistling._

The teachers are confused and nearly every single student alternates between wonder on who let something slip and shock that Kiwi still hasn’t been uncovered.

The sole exception is Odd, who alternatives between whistling and giving everyone the shifty eye.

#

_When “kicking a bear in the face” is on your bucket list, I feel that it’s safe to say that you have issues._

_Manly awesome issues!_

Jeremiah revealed that he wished to kick a bear in the face before he died and Lola has now declared that he has issues.

#

_Making snow angles is perfectly acceptable, but making snow devils is not._

Shirley was not having it and Anton could care less about her objections.

#

_When receiving detention you are not to scream that Satan has put you on Santa’s naughty lists._

_Hertz is not Satan or any sort of demons that feasts on the tears of the young and innocent as she seeks to devour their souls._

Upon receiving a detention from Hertz Nate Dunbar dramatically screamed that Satan put him on Santa’s naughty lists. Naturally Nate was issued another detention and rumors spread from there and it was thus a laughing Mr. Klotz who wrote the rule.

#

_Snowmen don’t need certain additions._

Mrs. Meyers wasn’t amused to find snowmen with carrots clearly serving as their penis.

#

_Ulrich Stern is not the King of Winter._

_Ciel Baxter is not the Prince of Winter._

_The Kadic Soccer Team is not the Winter Royal Guard._

The inner patient within Emily was snapping away at the antics of the soccer club and most were watching with a sense of fascination.

#

_Never ask anyone if they’re going to make a Christmas baby!_

Both Jim and Adele are completely and utterly stunned and Sam just can’t help herself.

#

_Don’t write fanfiction about your fellow classmates._

It was discovered that Naomi wrote fanfiction about her classmates and many of said classmates found it weird beyond measure.

#

_There is no such thing as the snow police and no one can regulate how much time someone plays with the snow._

Kelly and Sophie were bored and Alexandre questions their sanity.

#

_Students cannot sue teachers on traumatization grounds when nothing traumatizing actually occurred._

Bastien caught Rosa and Mr. Klotz making out and maintains that he should sue on the grounds that they’ve traumatized and scarred him for life.

#

_Don’t bury someone in snow!_

_Always look were you are going, especially when running._

_Issuing detentions during the holidays doesn’t make the detention giver the Grinch._

_Detentions are always given for official reasons and there is never an unofficial reason._

Claire and Magali thought it would be funny to bury Odd in snow and subsequently fled before he could get his wits about him. However en route to the sanctuary of the dorms they crashed into Yolanda who officially gave the girls detention for running in the halls.

In truth most people suspect that Yolanda unofficially gave the girls detention for nearly causing to step on her phone after they made her accidentally drop it.


	34. Chapter 34

_Christmas make outs are not a thing._

Valeria isn’t sure if Brighton was being serious or trolling her but she’s miffed all the same.

#

_The expression is Jack Frost nipping at your nose, not Jack Frost nipping at your nipples. Cease teaching the younger students otherwise this instant!_

Tania decided what the winter season needed was chaos and went wild.

#

_Edgelord is not your name, cease introducing yourself as such._

_Very well the Edgelord shall comply._

_STOP IT!_

Alexandre was in a trollish mood and Yannick had enough.

#

_You will not turn the teaching staff’s names into swear words._

Jim was unimpressed, so very much unimpressed, and Nate Adams and Nate Dunbar won’t stop laughing.

#

_Cease screaming MISTER CROWLEY!_

_Never!_

Leo and Danny can’t stop themselves and Shirley is done with the both of them.

#

_No one is going to call you papa ice._

Bastien worries his friends sometimes.

#

_No one is anybody’s daddy!_

Sometimes Odd decides to things on purpose, Ulrich won’t stop grinning, and Jeremy does not enjoy being referred to as Aelita’s daddy in any way, shape, or form.

#

_No one is anybody’s Big Momma!_

_Innocence doesn’t remain forever._

Aelita’s alternates between laughing and apologizing, Odd and Ulrich just laugh, and Jeremy doesn’t how to deal with it all and the CPT is horrified.

#

_Don’t call anyone a hipster douchenozzle._

_Then don’t act like a hipster douchenozzle._

_Punching someone in the face for insulting you while understandable is still grounds for punishment._

Xavier was acting like a hipster to the max degree which annoyed Tristan who subsequently called him a hipster douchenozzle. This offended Xavier beyond measure and Tristan has the beginning stages of a black eye, while the other boy is now serving detention.

#

Mrs. Meyer’s eyes were twitching as she beheld the two giant piles of snow set side by side. By her side Adele began giggling at over the fact they were in the shape of boobs and the helpful signs declaring one Mount Left and the other Mount Right.

With an enraged howl the math teacher charged forth and destroyed them swiftly, much to the disappointment of the students.

#

_Snow creations have a specific criteria and that was not it!_

Mrs. Meyer was not expecting to find giant snow piles in the shape of boobs and swiftly destroyed them in rage.

#

“Ulrich,” Ulrich turned at the choking noise of his cousin and he immediately come to him at seeing the look of horror and shock on his young face. “Ciel what’—“He was immutably interrupted as Ciel looked him right in the eye and stated. “They weren’t cultists, they were creepy sex fiends! Why would anyone want to dress up as animals and have sex with each other,” he questioned as he stared imploringly at his cousin for answers.

Outwardly he paled; inwardly Ulrich found himself chanting an endless sonnet of fucks.

#

_While school is a place for learning, not everything has to be learned at school._

_For the record once someone recovers from shock they will act, especially when they already told you no._

_Whenever you say “It seemed like a good idea at the time” it’s a sign that you’ve messed up._

Jeremy took pity on Ulrich and wrote the rule, but because Jeremy is not heartless he also left a warning for Jeremiah. For his part Jeremiah was hiding, dodging Ulrich, and has taken to heart the folly of “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” especially because he only saw the laughs he could have and not the retribution he would face.

Lastly Ulrich has vowed vengeance on Jeremiah, Ciel is slightly less disturbed after the talk with his cousin, and Odd isn’t helping matters by laughing about it.

#

“Hey man enjoy the Christmas party, let it take your mind off things.” Odd said as he nudged Ulrich, while giving him punch. Still in that sense of fuck sonnets Ulrich took the punch with a mumbled thanks. Elsewhere others were drinking punch some in merriment like Tristan, others to calm their nerves like Jeremiah, and others for the simply enjoyment of punch itself.

There were all unaware that the punch had been spiked and the first sign that something was wrong was when Sarah suddenly grabbed James by his crotch and declared it her property. As James squeaked in surprise, others had begun showing signs which alarmed the party’s overseers beyond measure.

“I love you man,” Pierre declared as he hanged off of Tristan, “You’re my brother, my best friend, my brother. Lola this is Tristan, this is my best friend, my brother. Shirley this is Tristan, this is my best friend, my brother. James….” And on it went and Tristan went along with the ride, finding the whole thing hilarious and seriously hoping that he would remember Pierre’s antics in the morning.

“Keep your clothes on,” Emily hissed at Theo, who had been unsuccessfully trying to take off his shirt. Emily found herself confused when he suddenly took of his belt and then quickly mortified at his attempt to take articles of clothing off and while Tristan was a level of Zen drunk, Emily was not and thus she quickly marched Theo out of the gym.

Ignoring orders to cease drinking the punch Jeremiah drunk some more and then without hesitation he ran up to the wall, kicked himself off of it, and then used his other foot to kick his uncle in the face for having the gall to demand him to cease drinking the awesome punch.

“You know I’m a fighter,” Odd commented aloud. “I’m a savior; I saved the world from a maniacal…” Odd never got to finish what he saying as Ulrich slapped his hand over his mouth. “Stop talking, you’re embarrassing yourself.” He tossed a look at the small crowd Odd had gathered and then he abruptly removed his hand. “Did you just lick my hand?” Ulrich demanded as he turned to best friend.

“Yes I did lick your hand because you covered my mouth…. And that was just plain rude, rude, that was really rude Ulrich. You know what Ulrich you’re the rudely rude man.” Odd finished by shaking his finger in Ulrich’s face. “I do things with that hand you licked,” Ulrich commented in turn and Odd preceded to freak the fuck out and exclaim that he was contaminated and going to die to the amusement of those watching.

“SSAAAAMMM,” Sissi cried to her girlfriend, “We have to lock all the windows or the sky will eat us! Don’t laugh,” she snarled to few were not too startled to react, “The sky is everywhere out there, so we have to look everything up, so the sky can’t get it and eat us!” She hysterically finished and without looking behind Sam cried out, “Okay people lock the place up,” as she confronted her girlfriend.

“My ladies,” a giggling Hiroki said with a leer towards a group of ladies, “Want to see how I defy stereotypes?” He finished with a smirk as he cupped himself with one hand and did a thrust. As the girls gapped at him, Johnny was forcefully escorted towards the restroom after his repeated attempt to simply go to the bathroom in the gym inside was noticed.

“I have a confession to make, it was me! I was the one who said that Mrs. Meyer needed to get her ass laid. She can so bitchy that I thought she needed her husband to blow into like no tomorrow and hope that would her calm the fuck down. I just made the observation that she needed to get laid and I didn’t expect it to spread, her to hear it, and then try to punish everyone for it. Which when you think about it really proved badly she needed the dick. Regardless I would like to apology for my actions and hope that no one was offended about her trying to give them an unjustified detention,” Aelita finished as she bowed in sincerity and thus missed everyone’s reactions that it was Aelita, who was inadvertently responsible for the rumor created so long ago.

By her side Jeremy was shaking his head in disbelief that she brought it up and over sexy she looked. He then tilted his head to the side before launching forward and caused Aelita to shriek as he twirled around. “Jeremy Belpois” though exactly she intended to say afterwards was lost as he got in a deep kiss. “You’re so sexy,” he murmured after they finished, “You’re sexy when you’re good, when you’re bad, hell you’re sexy in everything you do. My beautiful sexy Aelita,” he finished as he nuzzled her neck.

Eventually the tag team of Principal Delmas, Jim, Adele, and Mr. Klotz were able to gain control of the chaos and do what was needed to get the students under control and off towards the dorms. Delmas thought that it would be worst of it when he arrived at his office to make the proper phone calls until he noticed that the door was already open.

As he rushed in he saw two empty red cups on the ground and his office chair pushed out. He then looked back at the cups and noticed that they looked as if they had been tossed on the ground. His eyes were once more drawn towards the office chair which had no business being pushed out, as he always had it pushed in when he left his office.

Nothing was out of place nor was anything missing and yet he couldn’t help but feel this feeling of wrongness.

#

_Never spike the punch or any other drink and/or food source at a school hosted event._

_The culprit(s) must reveal themselves at once._

_No one is anyone’s property._

_Certain people should never drink._

_Actions someone took under the influence shouldn’t be held against them, especially when they became under the influence unknowingly._

In the following days after the party plenty of people were embarrassed and horrified over their actions from the party night, while others found themselves laughing themselves sick, and some had to reminded of what they had done. For example Jeremiah was stunned to discover exactly how his uncle had acquired a black eye, Aelita couldn’t look Mrs. Meyer in the eyes, Mrs. Meyer just walked around with this stunned complete look of shock on her face, Pierre took everything in stride, and Sissi was mortified that she was never ever going to live down screaming that the sky was going to eat everyone.

While Tristan was happy beyond measure that he did remember Pierre’s antics, the parents were not and it was rumored that the principal had lost coolness points. Though ultimately most of the parents were understanding of the situation and demands were made for the culprits to be identified.

Furthermore Odd was banned from ever drinking after Jeremy learned how close he had come to speaking of Xana. Aelita, Yumi, and William, the latter two communicating through the phone, further backed Jeremy and when Odd attempted to defend that no one would believe it Ulrich immediately knocked on wood and told him not to jinx himself.

Lastly the demands for the culprits to reveal themselves were naturally ignored. After all Thomas and Matthew didn’t go through the trouble to create a distraction to enact their fantasy of having sex on Principal Delmas’s desk, only to get in trouble for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Duskrider on FFN for inspiring the spiked punch scenario, though the circumstances of why the punch was spiked and antics of those involved were of my design.


	35. Chapter 35

_You are not Starlord and nor can you protect anyone from the sky._

Odd laughs, Sissi glares darkly, and Ulrich smiles.

#

_Wearing a hat of mistletoe doesn’t mean all the girls have to kiss you._

Takuya maintains that you can’t blame a guy for trying.

#

_Snow forts are not to be made inside of buildings._

Jim’s not sure whether to be annoyed at the snow fort melting inside the Rec Room or be impressed that it was created without the adults noticing.

#

_Don’t slap someone for doing the Santa Clause greeting._

_The Santa greeting is Ho Ho Ho, thus if you leave a Ho out you’re going to get slapped._

_Don’t be passive aggressive about things._

Theo accidentally left out a Ho when greeting Emily and Heidi and while Heidi smacked him in the back of the head, Emily slapped him. This in turn caused Theo to accuse her of being passive aggressive about his accidental drunken antics, which didn’t help matters as she just glared him until he walked away.

#

_Stop spreading Krampus!_

_Don’t blame someone for another’s actions!_

_When someone has a history of scarring people with stories, they naturally will be the first or only suspect._

Certain students became disturbed over Krampus, Ulrich was offended at the blame was tossed his way, and Odd decided to add his own input which further annoyed Ulrich.

#

_Stick fights are fine and dandy as long as long as they don’t get tossed._

_People who use the word dandy are not old fashioned._

Jeremy got hit with a flying stick and when he sought the source he saw the back of heads as clashing sticks fell to the ground. He quickly connected the dots and did the only thing he could think to do to prevent the situation from occurring once more.

He was later annoyed at the insistence of him being old fashioned because he used the word dandy.

#

_Christmas lights are not lassos._

Taretha blushes and has accepted the odd looks tossed her way with grace.

#

_Cease referring him to the drunken kick master._

_Mr. Fumet will only accept being called Mr. Fumet and Professor Fumet. Cease calling him Mr. Wounded Panda._

While Jeremiah found himself blushing at being called the drunken kick master, his uncle was unamused and took to glaring at those who uttered the title. However this caused the students to declare that he looked like a wounded panda and a nickname was born. Upon noticing that he disliked said nickname a great deal Hertz decided to help him out.

#

A crowd had gathered in front of the gym which drew attention, especially when Alexandre carrying two sticks, walked over, and declared, “Okay, one, two, three, begin,” and then to surprise of all watching the crowd began to sing.

_ “On the First day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
A principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Second day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Third day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Fourth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Fifth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Sixth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Seventh day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Seven hardcore Sassi fanboys,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Eighth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Eight disturbing fangirls,  
Seven hardcore Sassi fanboys,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Ninth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Nine royal winter guards,  
Eight disturbing fangirls,  
Seven hardcore Sassi fanboys,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Tenth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Ten angry ex-girlfriends,  
Nine royal winter guards,  
Eight disturbing fangirls,  
Seven hardcore Sassi fanboys,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Eleventh day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Eleven Handsome soccer players,  
Ten angry ex-girlfriends,  
Nine royal winter guards,  
Eight disturbing fangirls,  
Seven hardcore Sassi fanboys,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me, _

_ On the Twelfth day of Christmas,  
My true love gave to me,  
Twelve drunk punch drinkers,  
Eleven Handsome soccer players,  
Ten angry ex-girlfriends,  
Nine royal winter guards,  
Eight disturbing fangirls,  
Seven hardcore Sassi fanboys,  
Six naked snowmen,  
Five people too sexy for detention,  
Four insane animal namers,  
Three bungee jumpers,  
Two Ashford Butts,  
And a principal who snipes me.” _

Alexandre then dropped the sticks as he turned around and he and the singers bowed to the applause from the majority of the students As they rose they all declared a “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” before separating.

#

_Don’t reference that Christmas party, let alone in a song._

_Having out there animal names doesn’t make us insane._

_Being the inspiration for a rule doesn’t mean that the rule is about the person who inspired it._

_Despite the common misconception the song was created as a group effort and not a single member of the soccer team was involved._

While others vastly enjoyed the performance, some were hostile to the song, and others only protested at different sections of said song. Case in point Ulrich, Tristan, Mohammed, and Ciel objected being referred to as insane animal namers.

Though Sam was gleeful at this confirmation of having hardcore fanboys, Sissi was torn on the idea and Odd was caught off guard when Alexandre stated that he was the inspiration for number of angry ex-girlfriends. At the same time rumors cropped up that the Kadic soccer team was involved in the creation of the song based on the two references for them. Despite Alexandre pointing out it was a group effort that did not include any of the soccer team members the rumor still persists.

Furthermore Principal Delmas is seen chuckling as he finds it amusing that his snipping of students in Call of Duty has been immortalized in song and debate ranges on exactly who these five people too sexy to receive detention are among the students.


	36. Chapter 36

“Hello peoples, my winter break was amazing. So how was….What the hell is that on your hand?” Matthew exclaimed towards Ulrich as he snuck upon the gang. “An engagement ring,” Ulrich replied with a smile and he continued after he noticed Matthew’s gob smacked looked. “Me and Yumi, Yumi and I,” he amended after a cough from Jeremy, “had a long talk about what we wanted and we got the rings together.” A bliss smile spread across his face, “We’re getting married soon after I graduate.”

“Holy shit,” Thomas murmured as he caught the end, Matthew wordlessly nodding his head. “And you’re parents are completely fine with this?” Thomas asked and was unprepared for Aelita and Odd to start giggling, while Jeremy snorted. “Well, that was the tricky part…. Our moms were a bit hysterical, I guess….”

“Dad was torn between trusting Yumi’s judgment and being pissed that Ulrich was taking away his baby girl.” Hiroki, who had wandered over unnoticed by the others, declared with a bright smile. “Though your dad made it worse,” he added.

Ulrich winced as he recalled his father’s loud demands if he got Yumi pregnant and the subsequent reactions that it caused. The fact his father was adamant that the pair were having sex in the first place was embarrassing, the fact that neither of them denied it made it more damning, and both of their mothers were seconds away from demanding Yumi take a pregnancy test before the pair were able to convince them that Yumi was not pregnant.

“Anyways, our parents did come around to it and are supportive,” Ulrich finished with a smirk, which was true albeit it took some convincing and a little bit of blackmail.

#

_Ulrich Stern is officially more of a man than Principal Delmas, Mr. Klotz, and Jim Morales combined._

_There are many things can show off someone’s manliest and being engaged before another man is not it! Especially when they get engaged on a whim!_

_There is a difference between doing things on a whim and doing things after careful consideration._

The conversation between the gang, Hiroki, Thomas and Matthew was overheard and reactions to the news that Ulrich and Yumi were engaged were varied from people thinking that they pair was too young, were doing it on a love infested whim, and more than one person declared Ulrich had bigger balls than the men who had yet to propose to their lovely ladies.

#

_Fidget spinner are not ninja stars and thus do not throw them as such._

_No one at school is allowed to bring ninja stars to school._

_Teachers can have a disturbingly lack of faith in their students._

Hertz was unimpressed to be accidentally hit by a fidget spinner and further annoyed when the culprit(s) got away before she could identify the owner or owners.

Meanwhile Mr. Fumet felt the need to stress that ninja stars were not allowed at school, which more than one person pointed out just spoke of his lack of faith in his students.

#

_Regardless of any circumstances teachers will be referred by their names. As such cease calling Mrs. Meyer Mrs. Farts, Lady Fartzilla, or any other variation of the theme._

While teaching class Mrs. Meyer let out a surprise fart during the middle of class and the sixth graders naturally reacted and choose to run with it, in a fashion she didn’t approve of.

#

_Midget tossing is not and will never be a sport!_

_….But just think of the potential hilarity._

_No, just no midget tossing._

Despite popular opinion it wasn’t Thomas who objected to the idea of a midget tossing sport, on the account that he was too busy laughing. It was actually Jean-Baptiste who took objections to it for his own reasons.

#

_Ulrich Stern being engaged doesn’t mean you are too emotionally distressed to do your homework._

At least some of the girls are genuine fangirls but a few make people wonder if they are faking fangirlism to cover their homework not being done.

#

_None of you are underwear ninjas, so take the underwear off of your heads and cease your actions._

It quickly became obvious that Mrs. Meyers was not dealing well with the antics of the group of sixth and seventh graders when the rule was established.

#

_Just because you’re mad at your mother doesn’t mean you should run around campus to jump on every crack you see._

_There are exceptions to every rule and such actions of mine were not an overreaction, regardless of what anyone thinks._

After an argument with her mother Sam decided the best thing to do was to run around the school and jump unto every crack she could find. Upon seeing this Sissi was quick to point out that it was a bit of overreaction and Sam maintains that it was justified and not an overreaction.

#

_Sugarless cookies are blasphemy given food form._

_Just because you don’t like a certain food doesn’t make impossible or wrong for anybody else to like it._

Felix discovered that sugarless cookies actually existed and was quick to condemn them as unnatural and was horrified to discover that Rhonda actually ate and liked them. Rhonda in turn was annoyed at his insistence that sugarless cookies were blasphemous.

#

Jeremy was eating lunch with his friends when Milly come up behind and tapped him on the shoulder and before he could even turn behind him she said, in the most serious voice she could, “Make men pregnant.” In response Jeremy choked on his food, Odd sputtered his food out of his mouth, Ulrich spat his drink out and hit Aelita, who was in process of helping Jeremy, thus became drenched.

Completely ignoring the reactions she caused Milly continued, “You need to make it so men can get pregnant.” People who were drawn to the gang’s reactions thus responded to this and behind Milly’s back Tamiya face palmed. “What?” Jeremy, along with many others, managed to choke out and to a lesser extent there were plenty of mixed in “Why?” from others, and just pure silence from the rest who stared at Milly for an explanation to her request.

“Listen to me,” Milly continued unaware and uncaring of the reactions around her. “During winter break I got caught in an elevator with a pregnant woman when the elevator got stuck. I had to watch and help her and her husband deliver their baby. I saw things, heard her screams of agony, and I’m not doing with that in the future.” She took a deep breath and with the most forceful tone that she could image declared, “Thus mister genius you will make it so men can get pregnant.”

The silence that followed was deafening before some began laughing in disbelief, only to receive Milly’s death glare for doing so. However her glare was anything but fierce and the awkward laughter filled disbelief resonated, while others were frozen in shock.

#

_Jeremy and the other genius people at Kadic must rally together and ensure that men can get pregnant!_

_Regardless of your experience in witnessing childbirth, let the record state that men cannot get pregnant. Furthermore there will be no attempts to promote male pregnancy because again it’s impossible and no one shall encourage any attempts by Milly to entice geniuses to develop a way for male pregnancy._

_We are not Sea Horses!_

Over the winter break Milly held the dubious honor of becoming trapped in an elevator and witnessed the miracle of childbirth, against her will. Suffice the experience left her in a certain frame and of mind and she decided that men should be the ones to get pregnant, instead of females. Thus she sought to convince Jeremy to find a way to ensure her goal came to pass.

Not only did Jeremy not even respond due to being stunned and not wanting to deal with it, the male student body reacted. Alexandre was rather logically about, which was demonstrated upon his contribution to the rule sheet. However other people choose to be blunt, short, and to the point.

#

_Marvel is better than DC._

_DC is better than Marvel._

_MARVEL!_

_DC!_

_We’ve been over this don’t fight on the rule sheet._

Marvel and DC battle lines were draw and arguing naturally commenced on the rule sheet to the exasperation of Shirley.

#

_If I was a woman I would play with my boobs all day._

_Don’t write random desires or wishes like this on the rule sheet!_

Someone anonymous wrote a bizarre wish, the CPT took offense, and blame is tossed Milly’s way.

#

_It’s rude to kill somebody when their dancing._

_When playing of Call of Duty always focus on the battle and don’t let your enjoyment of a kill blind you._

Theo killed Principal Delmas in Call of Duty and was so excited that he had his character dance. However he was too lost in his excitement and thus was surprised when he was killed by Emily.

#

_The phrases “I bet mine’s bigger” and “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours” are not to be used ever, regardless of whatever context you try and justify it with._

_Disagreeing with a group doesn’t make someone a prude._

Adele, Odd, and a few others won’t stop giggling and Aelita is so done with their shit.

#

_No one at Kadic is without nipples, so cease calling other nippleless, no nipple, or she/he who wishes to have nipples._

Shirley doesn’t want to know and Takuya won’t stop giggling.

#

_Cease calling everyone who you annoys turd blossom._

Principal Delmas likes Guardians of the Galaxy as much as the next guy but he was getting rather tired of hearing turd blossom all the time.

#

_When you are sick the proper response is to go to Yolanda, not declare that your roommate has to take care of her because you are too weak._

A sick Fenris declared Ciel his butler that had to care for him as he was sick and they friends. Though rather amused at his antics Ciel simply laughed and marched him to Yolanda.

#

_Nickelback is forbidden from being played in the Rec Room._

_Nickelback can be played in the Rec Room whenever._

_You either like Nickelback or you’re wrong._

Bastien wasn’t a fan of Nickelback and tried to get it banned from being played only to be foiled by Nickelback fans such as Matthew, Odd, and Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick thanks to Raxius on FFN who gave me inspiration with his suggestions of using Marvel vs. DC movies and banning Nickelback from the Rec Room.


	37. Chapter 37

“You know I’ve been thinking of Milly’s desire for male pregnancy and I have to wonder how would that even work?” Paul said to his friends. “I mean we don’t have the equipment to handle it so would a C-section be needed?” He finished with a thoughtful tone, ignoring the looks tossed his way.

“That or the butt,” Odd spoke his tongue laced with mischief. “What is wrong with you?” Ulrich demanded of his best friend and completely ignoring Ulrich Odd continued. “After all it’s where it goes and stuff. Besides butt babies,” he broke into giggles and then his light eyes up and turned to Matthew and Thomas. “So who would-“

Odd never got to finish his question because both young men were glaring at him, with a tint of a blush on their cheeks, and without a beat they lunged. Odd gave a yelp and as the chase began Ulrich called out. “Run Odd run!”

#

_There is no such thing as butt babies, cease speaking of them!_

_Think about before you speak or perform certain actions._

Unable to get Milly’s bizarre desire out his head Paul voiced his opinions on it and Odd decided that male pregnancy would led to butt babies. Perhaps that could have been the end of it but he decided to try and voice a question to Matthew and Thomas which resulted Odd having to flee from the couple.

#

_Unless your name is Death the Kidd you have no right to complain about someone not being perfectly symmetrical._

After noticing how one of Emily’s ears was shorter than the other Theo wouldn’t stop focusing on it and Emily simply had enough.

#

_The groundskeeper doesn’t need a pet parrot, cat, or any type of animal companion to help him in his work._

_Neither does Jim._

_Animals are not allowed on school property._

The groundskeeper just shakes his head at kids, Jim rolls his eyes, and nearly every single student still have no idea how the school staff hasn’t found out about Kiwi.

#

_You are not the master of misdirection and as such cease calling yourself the Phantom Sixth Man._

_Being bitter about not getting a reference doesn’t mean you should ban a nickname._

_Nicknames are created by other people, not you._

Xavier’s improvement in misdirection during basketball games caused the boy to declare himself the Phantom Sixth Man and Anton maintains that it wasn’t bitterness that drove him to create the rule but pure annoyance at the self declared nickname being repeated.

#

The sudden howl caused more than one person to stare and migrate to the direction of the boy’s shower. Thus when Jeremiah exited the small crowd had the honor of seeing him with bright hot pink hair. He froze in horror and before he could move Rhonda threw glitter on him and declared, “Ulrich said I could do it and he’s not done.”

Jeremiah whimpered and ran off to Yolanda to see if she had something to restore his hair.

#

_Don’t dye someone’s hair without permission._

_Vengeance shouldn’t be done in stages._

_Someone telling that you can do it doesn’t mean that you break a rule on the rule sheet._

_The defenestration rule was repeatedly broken, even without permission being given._

While Mr. Fumet was quick to act upon his seeing his nephew’s new hair color, Jeremiah was stressing that having to endure people seeing him with hot pink hair should make up for informing Ciel the truth about those cultist being furies. However Ulrich wasn’t swayed which caused Jeremiah to be further worried about what could come next.

Meanwhile people who were annoyed at Rhonda throwing glitter again were quick to get on her case about it and in turn she was merely pointed out that the rule sheet never really stopped anyone before.

#

_The proper response to seeing a stuffed bear isn’t to destroy it._

_While true an exception is allowed if the stuff bear bares any resemblance to Monokuma aka Monobear._

_Whoever made the stuffed bear with a likeness to Monobear should step forward._

Leo was quick to destroy a stuffed bear that bore a resemblance to Monobear and Felix who had never heard of Danganronpa thought it was an extreme reaction, while everyone who did know of Danganronpa felt it was vastly appropriate.

Unsurprisingly the maker of the bear never came forward.

#

_Kadic is not a wizarding school and doesn’t need its students sorted into houses._

_This isn’t Hogwarts or French Hogwarts._

Jim can only laugh softly as he shakes his head.

#

_To everyone trying to fashion an ahoge stop it or it will be cut off._

_You cannot cut another person’s hair without permission._

_Being jealous of another students’ hair style doesn’t mean you can damage it._

_An ahoge is a style choice, not a hair boner!_

_Punching people in the face will result in a detention regardless of the reason!_

For reasons unknown Johnny couldn’t stand Hiroki’s attempts to craft an ahoge leading Hiroki to accuse him of being jealous. April who thought ahoge were dumb backed up Johnny and threatened to cut Hiroki’s ahoge and Ashley was quick to put out that her twin sister didn’t have the right to cut someone’s hair without permission.

Seeing this Danny wondered aloud why anyone would want a hair boner and Hiroki snapped.

#

_Ulrich Stern is the not the Ultimate Soccer Player or Sexy Devil._

_Odd Della Robbia is not the Ultimate Casanova._

_Thomas Jolivet and Matthew Ducrocq are not the Ultimate Sexy Couple._

_Jeremy Belpois is not the Ultimate Nerd._

_The fangirls of this school will cease declaring anyone with an ultimate title; this isn’t Hope Peak’s Academy._

Aelita, Sam, and Emily were annoyed at the fangirls decrees and the fangirls quietly remark to themselves that the three are just annoyed that no boys bestowed an ultimate title upon them.

#

_2D all the way!_

_No way 3D, is the best D!_

No one wants to know and no ever fesses up.

#

_Kadic supports proper holidays and no holiday will allow you to be Headmaster for a day._

More than a few students and some of the teachers actually thinks that Headmaster for a day would be a great holiday and Delmas wonders how this is his life.

#

 _No wants to hear “_ _BREAK BREAK BREAK DANCE! HERE WE GOOOOOO,”_ _cease playing it Odd!_

If he heard it one more time Jean-Baptiste swore to punch Odd in the face.

#

_No one needs a theme song._

Sam was in a mood and wouldn’t let it go.

#

_Alan Ashford is the Ultimate Sexy Devil or the Ultimate Warlock._

While Tristan laughed about it, Ciel was slightly annoyed, and Ulrich just knew something was going to come out of this, and everyone else felt that the rule writer was onto something.

#

_ "Alan Ashford,   
That Wicked Sexy Alan Ashford,  
With that sexy Ashford booty,  
He’s the ultimate of all,  
  
He’s the one everyone craves,  
From the girls and boys  
The exception to all,  
That Alan Ashford,  
The truest ultimate,  
  
Alan Ashford,  
That Wicked Sexy Alan Ashford,  
Amazing ultimate Alan Ashford,  
Everyone wants Alan Ashford,  
  
Alan Ashford,  
Sexy Alan Ashford,  
With that sexy booty,  
The ultimate devil,  
  
He’s so handsome,  
He’s so dreamy,  
Everyone’s under his spell, _

_  
Alan Ashford,  
The Ultimate Warlock,  
Bewitching everyone,  
With all his sexy charm, _

_ Alan Ashford." _

“I knew I was right,” Ulrich’s voice jolted the singers who bolted from the scene, but Ulrich recognized certain singers all the same. He couldn’t help but snort only to pause and murmur, “Why am I feeling déjà vu?”

With a snap of fingers Ulrich declared, “That’s right last school year, but they added lines or something.”

#

_Don’t ruin the Alan Ashford song!_

_One don’t sing about my cousin being sexy and two you ran off after I called the prior rule leading up to something. So it’s less about me stopping you and more you all fleeing at being caught._

_Don’t sing about either of my cousins’!_

_When singing about Alan Ashford it is very, very important to have Alan’s boyfriend present to judge this song to see if it meets the proper standard._

After catching this new Alan Ashford song Ulrich was prepared to just let it all go but one of the singers couldn’t help but comment. In turn Ulrich pointed out that they were the ones who stopped at being caught and that he didn’t want them singing about his cousin.

Upon learning about this Ciel decreed that neither of his cousins should have songs about them, Tristan wanted to be involved in order to judge the Alan Ashford song, and everyone was became really curious on what the Alan Ashford song was.


	38. Chapter 38

_No spitballs in class._

_When the teacher is hit, it’s time to quit._

Fenris thought it would be funny to hit Ciel with a spitball. However at the same moment Ciel dropped his pencil and bent down to get it and thus was spared. Not to be deterred Fenris fired again only to overshoot it with too much force causing the spitball to go over Ciel’s head and smacking Mr. Fumet in the back.

Fenris merely accepted the detention in a numb sense of horror and Ciel may or may not be plotting some type of payback.

#

_Super glue is not meant to be used on people in any way shape or form!_

Herb was seen walking towards the nurse’s office because his hands ended up super glued together. He refuses to explain and glares at Nicholas, who chuckles.

#

_The sky doesn’t contain invisibly monsters who seek to devour our souls._

Sissi glares darkly at Matthew, who merely grins cheekily in response.

#

_Don’t play with your jacket zipper in class when you are bored._

_Kadic is full of perverts._

Boredom struck Theo and he started move his jacket zipper up and down for something to do it. His sense of boredom was shattered by Odd giggling and when he looked over saw a few of his classmates giving him looks ranging from bafflement to what he could only describe as holy fucks of infinity.

It took him fifteen seconds to realize what caused their reactions and he bolted up and declared, “I was bored and playing with my zipper” to the confusion of Mrs. Hertz.

#

_Animal can’t be trained to poop on command._

_Sometimes life just gives you one._

During an outside gym class session a flying pigeon ended up pooping on Fenris, horrifying him beyond measure and causing Ciel to burst into laughter. After taking care of himself Fenris expressed his suspicion that Ciel trained the pigeon for that moment, Ciel just smirks in response, and Nate Adams simply believes that life just gives you one here and there.

#

Paul suddenly stopped as he heard a jingle, his body shook with horror, and with a whimper he turned his head back at the source, as if in a hypnotized horror. Two pair of eyes met one another and then Paul attempted to punch Bastien in the face. However the other jumped back and with Toreador March still playing from his phone, a now laughing Bastien, sought to turn around and run only to be tackled to the ground.

“Asshole,” Paul declared as he gave a noogie to the other, who actually squawked and protested the manglement to his hair. The pair then began rough housing as Bastien sought freedom and Paul continued his vengeance until a teacher came by and broke them up.

#

_NEVER EVER PLAY THAT SONG AGAIN!_

_Don’t mess with someone’s hair!_

_Playing Toreador March is forbidden._

_Never accept a job that keeps needing replacements._

_Always recognize a red flag when a job offer mentions that the company will not be held responsible for injury, especially if dismemberment is included._

_As a matter of fact if dismemberment is a possible risk, stay the hell away from that job._

_If you still take the job in a fit of madness then remember to bring a weapon to protect yourself with._

_Furthermore ensure you have a way to block one of the doors into the office to ensure you only need worry about one access point._

_As a matter of fact just bring a portable power generator with you, as it will save your life._

Bastien decided to prank Paul with Toreador March after learning that Paul couldn’t beat Five Nights at Freddy’s due to dying at Freddy’s hands. Paul was quick to take vengeance and Bastien’s hair suffered as a result.

After learning of the tussle Rosa was quick to ban Toreador March from being played, surprising more than a few people, and the once word spread the students decided to have fun by poking at the game.

#

“Matthey,” Matthew jerked to stare at Sissi, who was walking by. “What…. Did you just call me Matthey?” He questioned. In response Sissi just tossed him a look over her shoulder as she walked away. “No, no. There will be no calling me Matthey….ever.” He tossed in at the few people who witnessed the exchange.

#

_An acceptable nickname for Matthew is Matt and an unacceptable nickname for Matthew is Matthey._

Matthew made his opinion clear on Sissi’s desires to give him the nickname Matthey.

#

_Do not vandalism school grounds._

Mr. Chardin wasn’t sure what annoyed him that the art of the man farting fire was on the building in the first place or how badly it was drawn.

#

_We are not fictional characters in a story._

_Always make sure that Takuya has access to sugar, otherwise he thinks that he’s breaking the mystical fourth wall in some manner._

Takuya once again found himself questioning his reality and unlike Brighton, Emilio doesn’t have an emergency sugar supply to nip it in the bud.

#

_Don’t try and schedule a meeting for February 30 th. _

Adele just shrugs with a smile and Nicole Weber refuses to show her own amusement.

#

_Stink bombs are not to be thrown into any classmate._

_Stink bombs are banned from campus._

It’s a gagging Tristan who writes the first and a furious Lola who writes the second.

#

_When declaring a game of seven in minutes in heaven, it’s important that the two people in the closet are aware that they are playing seven in minutes in heavens. Ergo do not shove two random people in the closet together because you think they would be cute together._

_How about don’t play seven minutes in heaven on campus?_

Walking close by each other in silence both Xavier and Milly were caught off guard by someone screaming my OTP, grabbing them by the arm, and then shoving into the nearby closet. The pair merely exited the closet and then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to discover exactly who the responsible party was.

#

_You are not the Lord and Master of the Sky._

_You are not the commander of the four winds._

_You are not the weather wizard._

_Students are not required to give you tribute._

_Said tribute doesn’t include candy, soda, and money._

_The nonexistent tribute doesn’t have to be discarded if students call you the God, Sexy Beast, or the Sexist Man at Kadic._

_While Odd may be a handful threatening to call animal control on him is rather rude._

Odd just can’t help himself and an increasingly hostile looking Sissi threatened to call animal control on him. However Mr. Fumet overheard and proceeded to lecture the both of them for their antics.

#

_Ulrich Stern is the sexist man at Kadic._

In response to Odd’s willingness to be declared the sexiest man at Kadic, one of Ulrich’s fangirls felt the need to set the record straight.

#

_Starcraft is not Warcraft in space._

_Warcraft is not Starcraft in a medieval setting._

James was offended at the ignorance.

#

_Don’t stick your tongue out at people._

The Nate’s had a spat and Dunbar decided to stick his tongue out at Adams to emphasize a point and the other objected.

#

_Male Pregnancy Isn’t Going To Happen!_

_The one, who starts it shouldn’t be blamed for it being continued._

Pierre was done with hearing talk of male pregnancy and Milly feels that she shouldn’t be blamed for the male pregnancy thing not dying its natural death yet.

#

_Kadic shall have a swear jar._

_Kadic shall not have a swear jar because plenty of people will either ignore it or pay in advance._

Tamiya tried to set up swear jar only for Hiroki to point out that certain people wouldn’t pay if enforced and others would pay in advance.

#

_When losing at chests don’t flip over the board._

_Jeremy is a sore loser._

_I’m not a sore loser, I was shattering blasphemy!_

Jeremy and Odd were playing chests and to Aelita’s surprise Odd was winning. Upon seeing no chance of victory an outraged Jeremy flipped the board over.

#

_Don’t put barbeque sauce on pizza._

Sherry is disgusted and Jeremiah has no regrets.

#

_Jean-Baptiste is a man of his word._

Odd decided to play Break, Break, Break Dance Here We _GOOOOOO and_ Jean-Baptiste was quick to act. For the record he maintains that subsequent detention was worth it.


	39. Chapter 39

“Odd, wake up,” Ulrich hissed as he shook the other man awake. He then drew back when Odd reached to shove him away with one hand, while trying to wrapping himself into a cocoon with the other. “Odd, wake up….Don’t ignore me…Odd Della Robbia wake up and get your gay dog off my bed.”

“What? Kiwi’s not gay,” Odd sleepily murmured before bolting up out the cocoon. He stared at Ulrich his eye’s demanding explanation. “He won’t get off my bed, when I try to get him off he growls at me, stares at me and then your bed.” Ulrich hissed in explanation while tossing a look at the dog. In response Kiwi jerked his head towards Odd’s bed, causing Odd’s eyes to widen in complete surprise.

“Kiwi ships us,” Odd murmured in shock before shaking his head and turning to his dog. “Kiwi, get over here. Kiwi,” Odd snapped and reluctantly the dog obeyed. With his bed now freed Ulrich was quick to jump in and attempted to fall asleep while in the background Odd explained to Kiwi that neither of them were gay, Ulrich was in fact getting to married to Yumi, and that he shouldn’t be shipping them.

Suffice to say by morning both had bags under their eyes, which attracted attention.

#

_When someone says that they are fine, stop asking._

Ulrich and Odd refuse to explain why they have bags under their eyes. Ulrich is now convinced that Kiwi is gay, Odd now that he is more awake has decided that Kiwi merely wanted Ulrich’s bed all to himself, and plenty of wonder if they just couldn’t sleep or if there’s a story of some sort behind it all.

#

_February has 28 or 29 days depending on the year, stop trying to set up events, sessions, or anything of the sort for February 30 th or 31th._

_Teachers are to behave and set an example for the students, not the other way around._

Nicole Weber has put her foot down and Adele, Jim, and Rosa go silent from a look from Principal Delmas.

#

“Everyone we need to talk,” Theo said with just seriousness that the soccer team turned to him. Seeing that he had their full attention Theo continued, “With the King soon to hitch his Queen, I think we need to have a discussion on Ciel’s title.” In response Ulrich face palmed and Ciel exclaimed, “What? No there’s no need to discuss anything.”

“Technically any child Ulrich and Yumi have,” Matthew spoke, ignoring the look Ulrich tossed his way, “Would be the Prince or Princess of the North.”

“That doesn’t explain why Ciel’s title would be discussed,” Fenris pointed out, as Ciel nodded his head vehemently by his side. “Ciel’s isn’t Ulrich’s son but cousin and prince is more suited for the son.” Jean-Baptiste pointed out.

“All Hail Emperor Ulrich Stern!” Tristan declared with a flourish, as he winked to Pierre, who after a moment declared. “Indeed hail to his imperial majesty.” After a beat of silence both bowed to Ulrich, who watched in a vague sort of detachment.

“Prince Ciel,” Ciel spoke with a pointed look at Theo, “Reporting for duty your majesty.” The young boy declared towards cousin as he knelt and before Ulrich could stop it the others were swept within the fervor as only Code Geass fans could.

When Jim arrived it was to the sight of the soccer team declaring their undying allegiance to the Winter Emperor.

“Where the hell have you been,” Ulrich snapped at him and a shocked Jim could only say, “Bathroom.”

#

_Ulrich Stern is the Winter Emperor!_

_Ulrich Stern is the Emperor of Kadic!_

_All hail his imperial majesty!_

_All Hail Ulrich!_

_Jim needs to be on time to soccer meetings._

Questioning if Ulrich’s and Yumi’s upcoming plans of marriage should led a change in Ciel’s title ultimately led to a change in Ulrich’s as the soccer team declared him emperor. When asked Ulrich just says that Jim should be actually on time for the soccer team meetings he sets.

#

_Never make a bet against Hiroki when playing Go against him, unless you want to lose money._

Leo and Hiroki were playing Go, when Leo decided to make more interesting by declaring that the loser had to pay the winner ten dollars and Hiroki accepted. Needless to say the game did not end the way Leo anticipated and thus felt the need to warn others.

#

_Just because you don’t hear someone fart doesn’t mean they can’t fart. Thus when they do fart it’s not like the mythical unicorn._

Sandra’s fart was actually heard for once, which surprised her class and caused Ninon to declare it a mythical unicorn.

#

At first Xavier ignored the ringing of his phone as he didn’t know the number but as it continued to ring the curiosity caught the best of him and answered after it ringed once more. “Assholes,” the unknown caller spoke, “I’ve been calling for fifteen minutes. You said that the pizza would be here in thirty minutes or less and it’s been an hour.”

Xavier paused as he recognized the voice, “William?” There was silence on the other hand and then “Xavier? You’re not Pizza Hut.” “No, I’m not…Go to the phone book.” It was then Xavier started giggling at the oddness of it before hanging up.

#

_Always check you have the right number before calling._

_Insulting someone when they haven’t properly arrived with your food probably won’t make them arrive with your food, at all._

_Alternately they will arrive with your food but they may or may not have spit in it._

After enduring his phone going off on and off for fifteen minutes curiosity got the better of Xavier and he was surprised to learn that the caller was William, who thought that he was Pizza Hut and had called to complain about the late arrival of his pizza.

He did never learn if William got his pizza but he did feel that trying to insult them for being late wouldn’t turn out so well.

Upon learning about it all Mohammed decided to add his own two cents.

#

_Wear matching socks._

_Another’s fashion is not of your concern._

_Rhonda is not the fashion police._

_Kadic doesn’t need a fashion police._

Taretha was offended at seeing Fenris wearing two different socks on his feet and Fenris is of the opinion that his fashion style is none of her business. Then Rhonda gave her cents on his fashion which promoted a response from Tamiya.

#

_Jeremy Belpois is not the reincarnation of Albert Einstein._

Jeremy wasn’t sure where the rumor came from but found it more surprising that Herb took issue with it more than he did.

#

_Tell someone when they have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their shoes._

Johnny was confused when people started giggling at him after he left the bathroom and it took a while for him to realize what they found so funny.

#

_You cannot sue the school because the vending machine ate your dollar._

Milly got rather emotional when the vending machine ate her last dollar.

#

_Lord of the Rings is not a true account of how mankind became the dominant species. Cease moving into the nonfiction section of the library._

Emilio grins in laughter and the librarian is far from amused.

#

The line in McDonalds was rather larger than normal but Yolanda didn’t mind as it moved at a steady pace. “Okay,” the woman in front of her began before the cashier could issue a greeting, “I want a cheeseburger without the cheese.” A bit bemused the cashier put in her order as a hamburger only for the woman raise her hand. “That’s not my order.” She spoke with sheer certainty.

“Ma’am,” The cashier attempted to speak only for the woman to repeat herself. “That’s not my order, fix it.” “Ma’am a cheeseburger without the cheese is a hamburger.” Yolanda couldn’t see the woman’s face but she saw the change in stance. “No there are not. Their burgers are not the same, they are different, and I want my cheeseburger without the cheese.” To emphasize her point she then crossed her arms, tossed her hair back, and glared at him.

Yolanda could only stare dumbly as the man behind the counter actually edited the order to write cheeseburger without cheese and then let out a small chuckle when the machine automatically corrected it to hamburger. The look she then received was pure of annoyance before the woman declared, “You did it wrong.”

“Ma’am,” He started only for the woman to interrupt with “You did it wrong and why are you laughing?” She directed to the drive thru cashier who was giggling. “Ma’am a cheeseburger without the cheese is a hamburger, manually putting it in as a cheeseburger without the cheese makes it a hamburger. However if you want to want a cheeseburger without the cheese we can do that.” The manager, who had come out unnoticed, spoke clear trying to just things over with it.

“A cheeseburger and a hamburger are not the same! The meat is different! Fuck you all! I’m going to Wendy’s!” With her piece said the woman glared at everyone and stormed out.

There was a beat of silence left in the woman’s wake before Yolanda walked forward and placed her order, “Two cheeseburgers, with the cheese, and an order of fries.” The drive thru cashier busted out laughing, the cashier chuckled, and the manager had a look on his face as if he couldn’t believe what just happened.

#

_A cheeseburger without cheese is a hamburger; the cheese is the only difference between the two._

Yolanda only shakes her head and mentions that some people are just nuts.

#

_You cannot shun someone for being a fan of House Lannister._

_Fans of House Lannister must always be shunned._

Tania admitted to being a fan of House Lannister and Valerie decided the perfect response to such blasphemy was to briefly shun the other.

#

_Poodles are not gay._

A floored Anne decided to take action against what she considers someone’s bizarre belief that they are to spread through Kadic’s halls.

#

_Naughty Things will not be sung on Valentine’s Day._

While Mr. Fumet clearly thought he was nipping something in the bud, Mrs. Hertz is of the belief that even if the students decided not to sing Naughty Things that they will have a back song in place and the student themselves believe Principal Delmas will blame Mr. Fumet for putting in their heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to HalfwayParanoid on FFN for the inspiration about how Ulrich’s title could change and to Raxius of FFN about the dangers of playing Go against Hiroki.


	40. Chapter 40

“Truth,” Jeremiah declared with full confidence at his choice and because he knew that Tristan had a devious mind more suited for dares. Tristan paused and then looked at the calendar in his and Pierre’s room. “Who do have a crush on?” He chooses to ask inspired by the upcoming holiday.

“Yolanda,” Jeremiah after a beat causing Tristan to jerk in surprise, Pierre to nod his head in respect, and James to snort. “We all know Yolanda is hot,” Pierre began, “But James can’t acknowledge it because Sarah might whip him,” Tristan finished with a grin.

“It’s hot,” James interjected his voice filled with excitement. “I mean, Sarah doesn’t have a whip, and it’s not hot…so very, very ho…. I mean I no… just no to….She isn’t my dark mistress!” He suddenly declared from the intensity of the way he perceived his friends’ stares of shock, horror, and surprise.

#

_What happens in Truth or Dare stays in Truth or Dare._

James won’t answer and Tristan, Pierre, and Jeremiah walk around in a haze and can’t look Sarah in the eyes.

#

_Don’t poop in the urinal._

Jeremy was rather disturbed to notice that a turd sitting in the urinal.

#

_Odd Della Robbia cannot have a harem._

_Don’t accuse people of saying that they want a harem, especially when they didn’t and don’t even want a harem._

_Don’t speak of harems ever again1_

Odd was offended that someone actually thought he wanted a harem, plenty of people took his side, and Aelita finds harem too weird and wishes for them to not be discussed ever again.

#

_Don’t ask how to keep a stupid person waiting and then walk away._

_No matter the justification tackling someone indoors is never the answer._

Sherry decided to have some fun and Lola didn’t appreciate the insinuation at all.

#

_The pole determining who Ciel Baxter will be gay with shall cease at once!_

_Just because older cousins had boyfriends at one point, doesn’t mean younger ones will!_

Ciel is flabbergasted and blames his older cousins, Fenris is floored about his high placement in said pole, and Nate Adams doesn’t know how to do feel about being in the lead of it.

Ulrich is torn between comforting Ciel and really wanting to just ignore it all.

#

_You are not the Dragonborn, cease telling people that you are._

_This isn’t Skyrim._

Nate Dunbar smirks and maintains that he had a good time.

#

_Being banned from a store is not something to be in awe of!_

_Woman love them bad boys._

The awe in which the students, in particular the soccer team, hold Mr. Klotz in after learning about his life-long ban from the local bookstore greatly worried Principal Delmas and Jim, and the fact that he has such a ban turns Rosa on.

#

_Don’t jump in rain puddles when a teacher is nearby._

Mr. Chardin didn’t appreciate getting drenched when the students jumped into the puddle created by the recent rain.

#

_Becoming a Harem King is not an opportunity goal to reach towards._

No one is sure if Brighton is being serious or if the accusations against Odd inspired this bizarre declaration. Odd in turn is now suspecting him of writing the prior rule as a set up to the joke.

#

_The incident with the skunk will not be mentioned ever._

Sam is adamant that her getting sprayed by the skunk that snuck onto campus should not be mentioned ever and the other students make no promises.

#

_Be a graceful gloater when you are discovered to be correct._

The exact nature of Theo’s and Emily’s relationship was rather up in the air with neither one admitting to dating but leaving enough clues for observers to assume. However when they were caught on a double with Matthew and Thomas, Bastien took to declaring that he was right for too often to be considered graceful.

#

_ "Oh Kadic,  
Oh the couples,  
It’s Valentine’s Day. _

_ Valentine’s Day,  
That day of love,  
Oh Kadic. _

_ On this day,  
This day of love,  
Couples get together. _

_ Oh it’s true,  
Couples get together,  
For Naughty Stuff. _

_ Naughty Stuff,  
Naughty Stuff,  
Naughty Stuff. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh the couples,  
It’s Valentine’s Day. _

_ Valentine’s Day,  
That day of love,  
Oh Kadic. _

_ On this day,  
This day of love,  
Couples get together. _

_ Oh it’s true,  
The girls and boys,  
The men and woman,  
Get together with their partners,  
For Naughty Stuff. _

_ Naughty Stuff,  
Naughty Stu--- _

_ Oh Screw it,  
Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things. _

_ Oh it’s true,  
All the girls and boys,  
The men and women,  
Who have somebody,  
Get with their partner,  
For Naughty Things. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh the couples,  
It’s Valentine’s Day. _

_ Valentine’s Day,  
That day of love,  
Oh Kadic, _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Couples connect,  
On this day of love,  
It’s true, _

_ It’s the fact that,  
That can’t be denied,  
No matter how hard you try. _

_ Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things. _

_ Oh Mr. Fumet we tried,  
But we can’t stop our themselves,  
Because on this day of love,  
All the couples get together for,  
Naughty Things. _

_ Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things. _

_ Oh it’s true,  
You can’t deny.  
All the girls and boys,  
The men and women,  
Get with their partners.  
For Naughty Things,  
On Valentine’s Day. _

_ On this day love,  
Couples get together,  
For Naughty Things.  
Oh it’s true,  
You know it’s true. _

_ Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things,  
Naughty Things, _

_ Oh it’s true,  
You can’t deny.  
All the girls and boys,  
The men and women,  
Get with their partners.  
For Naughty Things,  
On Valentine’s Day." _

#

_When telling the students not to do something, remember that the students can take inspiration from it._

_Naughty Things is better than Naughty Stuff._

Principal Delmas blames Mr. Fumet, Mrs. Hertz actually gives them props for at least attempting to not use Naughty Things, and the consensus from the students and staff is that Naughty Things sounds better than Naughty Stuff.


	41. Chapter 41

_The song that never ends is glorious._

_No the song that never ends is not glorious, it’s annoying._

Herb glares at Nate Dunbar who cheekily grins at him.

#

_The Mirror is banned from Kadic._

Nicole Weber was disgusted at the gossip rag.

#

_Bribing will not get someone to name any future children after you._

Ulrich is getting rather annoyed and Odd maintains that Odd would be a great middle name for any of his and Yumi’s future children.

#

_Do not leave chocolate stains anywhere._

Brighton is semi-apologetic and Tamiya regrets being put in a group project with him.

#

_Don’t kink shame._

_THINK BEFORE YOU WRITE ON THE RULE SHEET!_

James’s is in the dog house with a rather vexed Sarah, Anton has no shame in jinx shaming the both of them in private, both wonder which of the three spilled to Anton, and everyone has their own theories on who the rule writer is.

Meanwhile the CPT and the staff is horrified that kinks were mentioned on the rule sheet which caused one of them, no is sure who, to cover it with a sharpie. However the damage was done and the more innocent students are rather curious on what a kink is.

#

_Regardless of who it is, when someone gets a girlfriend be supportive and not dramatic._

Nicholas and Heidi revealed that they were dating and certain classmates took this news with less than grace.

#

_No jazz hands competitions, especially if you can’t do them right._

_Do not doubt or question the jazz hand master._

Thiery, Tania, and Sorya decided to have a jazz hand’s competition and Alexandre objected to it on the grounds that their jazz hands sucked. Naturally the three protested and subsequently became schooled by Alexandre’s superior skills.

#

_Don’t call someone a buttnuck._

_Then don’t be a buttnuck._

_The words buttnuck and buttkanuck are banned from campus._

_Banning words is just a buttnuck thing to do._

Danny and Leo got in a spat and the later accused the former of being a buttnuck. From there it spread and Hertz took a disliking to buttnuck and Brighton made it buttkanuck for his own amusement, leading to Hertz banning both words.

However the rest of the students took to the words with a gusto that surprised the staff.

#

_Don’t wear fake mustaches, especially if you look horrible in them._

Rhonda was offended with how Felix looked and Felix pouts at being told he can’t pull off a mustache.

#

_Odd Della Robbia is not a warlock, doesn’t have magic abilities, or any other supernatural abilities. It’s just his metabolism._

After noticing that he had gained weight Julien became rather vexed that Odd could eat so much and yet remain skinny.

#

_Events must be approved of beforehand._

_Pajama day was a success and shall now be a Kadic Holiday._

Every single student went to class with their pajamas on confusing the teachers beyond measure. While Nicole felt the need to state the obvious, Jim was rather impressed that the students were able to set this up with the staff none the wiser.

A few of the students decided that pajama had to be a thing and took to the rule sheet to help its continuation.

#

“Ms. Fiquet, as you don’t have a note, do you have an explanation for being late to class?” Mrs. Meyers asked Taretha as she entered the classroom fifteen minutes after had begun. “Aliens,” Taretha blurted out in panic, “I was abducted by aliens and the unicorns had to save me. Then we had to run from the evil taco monsters that wanted to eat us, but the aliens were after us. However the taco monsters and aliens crashed into each other and the unicorns safely returned me to school before leaving for their hidden mythical homeland. ”

There was a moment pause before her classmates laughed and unimpressed Mrs. Meyers gave her a detention.

#

_Make better or more believable lies when late for class._

_Don’t lie and don’t be late for class._

_Stop making anal probing jokes!_

After arriving late to class for over sleeping Taretha told everyone a bizarre lie. Though the class found it hilarious, Mrs. Meyers did not and gave her detention.

Much to her chagrin Taretha had to deal anal probing jokes due to not giving a specific reason for why aliens would abduct her.

#

_Don’t spray silly string all over someone._

_Don’t write on someone._

_Proof is needed before someone gets punished._

_Ulrich Stern is a fan of the proxy system._

Jeremiah was seen covered in silly string and the words innocence breaker, suicidal idiot, and wolf bait on him. Mr. Fumet was quick to take action and after noticing how a sense of tension had left his nephew he realized Ulrich’s vengeance was complete.

However when he attempted to give Ulrich detention he was stonewalled by Jeremy pointing out that he needed proof, Aelita pointed out exactly where Ulrich was throughout the day, and Odd just looked at Ulrich his eyes full of mischief.

Mr. Fumet is still convinced that Ulrich did it but is now convinced that he used proxies.

#

_Don’t narrate what you do._

Nate Adams thought it would be funny to narrate everything he did and Fenris was just rather disturbed to hear someone taking a shit being narrated.

#

_Don’t moo at people._

_Don’t quack at people._

_Don’t meow at people._

Adele was really confused at their antics of certain students.

#

_Saying, telling, chanting, etc… “Draenor is Free” will not get you out of detention._

_“Draenor is Free” is not a magical phrase of instant forgiveness._

Faced with detention Alexandre randomly blurted out “Draenor is Free” which didn’t do anything but cause Mrs. Hertz to raise an eyebrow in confusion, Matthew to face palm, and Thomas to burst out laughing.

#

_You are not Yhwach so cease calling yourself the Almighty._

As a fan of the villain Yhwach from the Manga Bleach, Anton took to declaring himself the Almighty much to the annoyance of his friends.

#

_Always be aware of your surroundings._

_It’s natural, stop freaking out about it!_

With their attention on their phones neither April or Leo were paying attention to their surroundings and thus collided into one another. Thus the pair dissolved into a tangle of limbs and as they both attempted to struggle to get up at the same time Leo suddenly stopped. That would have been the perfect time for April to get up, however she froze as she felt the reason Leo stopped.

Twin pair of eyes looked at one another one in embarrassment and the other in horror before April screamed and ran off him.

#

_Don’t set Naughty Things (any version) as your ringtone._

_Don’t dis Naughty Things._

_Mr. Klotz is the coolest faculty member ever!_

In the middle of a conversation between Mrs. Hertz and Mr. Klotz, the later received a call and thus a stunned Mrs. Hertz learned Naughty Things was his ringtone. In response to this knowledge Mrs. Meyers sought to ban Naughty Things as a ringtone and Mr. Klotz was declared the coolest member of the faculty, to his immense amusement.

#

_There will be no coup d'etat against the principle._

_A student cannot be principle of a school._

_Don’t prematurely accuse people, it’s rude._

_Doesn’t binge drink coffee, just don’t….._

_Don’t pretend as if you didn’t do anything when in a better frame of mind._

_Own up to your actions and own it._

A rather crazed looking Principle Delmas felt the need to stress that there would no coups against the principle. The fact that he felt the need to stress that a student can’t be principle has convinced the majority of those on campus that the focus of the rule is on the soccer team and a belief they may seek to overthrow Delmas’s rule and began the reign of his Imperial Majesty Ulrich Stern.

When asked Sissi ranges from ignoring the questioner, to face palming, glaring at them, or hiding her face from sheer embarrassment as she mutters about her father binge drinking coffee.

For his part Principle Delmas has taking to ignoring the whole thing, which has caused certain vexed soccer team members to call him out on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Mirror is a fictionally gossip magazine for the purpose of this story and was inspired by HalfwayParanoid’s of FFN idea of reading material being banned.


	42. Chapter 42

_You cannot sue someone for intentionally farting on you._

_There is s difference between what is intentional and coincidental._

_No one can fart on command._

Thinking it would be funny Hiroki jumped on Johnny’s back and as Johnny tried to balance himself he farted on his friend. A stunned Hiroki gave a yelp and jerked off his back, Johnny was embarrassed and oddly satisfied, and Danny wants Hiroki to sue Johnny for intentionally farting on him for shits and giggles.

#

_We get you are here, so shut up about it!_

Takuya just laughs at how annoyed people are and his refusal to answer if it’s a My Hero Academia reference or annoys people further.

#

_Food fights in the cafeteria are not to become a Kadic holiday ever._

A food fight broke in the cafeteria and Rosa is firm in the belief that food fights should never be an unofficial holiday.

#

_Ash should be Misty._

_No Ash should be May._

_Ash and Gary till the end of times._

_Ash and Dawn belong together._

_Ash and Serena truly belong together, argument ended._

_Cease having a shipping war on the rule sheet!_

Another Pokemon vs. Digimon debate emerged only to become side tracked when a debate emerged over who Ash Ketchum should be with dissolved things into a shipping war among members of the Pokemon side.

#

_The Adventure crew grew up, but Ash Ketchum will forever be ten._

_Ash Ketchum may be ten but at least his best friend didn’t steal his girlfriend._

Certain Digimon fans couldn’t resist the dig and in response Pokemon fans made a dig of their own.

The Digimon fan base couldn’t offer a comeback on the grounds of discussing how strange it was for Tai x Sora to became Matt x Sora.

#

_Cease ominously declaring that I, your principle, must beware the royal coup._

Delmas’s continued insistence on ignoring his actions had led a new avenue for his students to have fun.

#

_Don’t call anyone bifactional._

_Cease calling those who play both sides of World of Warcraft a traitor._

Learning that Alexandre had a Horde and Alliance character caused Matthew to declare him bifactional. Alexandre objected to it, less mature Horde and Alliance players have declared Alexandre has committed treason by playing the other side, and Thomas just finds it hilarious.

#

_It is illegal for any girl to wear pants; therefore all girls must wear miniskirts!_

_Girls can wear pants, ignore the above the rule._

_Technically it is illegal for girls to wear pants since the antiquated law is still on the legislative books however it is not enforced._

While looking up funny French laws Brighton discovered that unless a woman was holding the reigns of a horse or riding a bike she was not allowed to wear pants. He was thus quick to action on the rule sheet only to have Sherry dismiss him completely.

However Mr. Fumet decided to turn the event into a learning experience and reveal that the legislative books do have a rather outdated law against girls wearing pants.

#

Taretha was reading her book and enjoyed the breeze when she heard Fenris exclaim “Holy shit,” and started gagging. “You guys have to come over here,” Fenris called out towards his friends and to Taretha’s surprise the other boys moved toward him and began gagging at the smell as well.

As they ran by Taretha called “Why would you go over there after hearing Fenris gag?” “Courtesy sniff,” Ciel, Nate Adams, and Nate Dunbar exclaimed as one, “You see,” Ciel continued, “Fenris must now come to whatever horrible smell we find because we went to his.” He finished with a nod before darting after his friends.

#

_The courtesy sniff is a real thing._

_Boys are gross._

Taretha learned of the courtesy sniff when Fenris found a discovered a disgusting smell and subsequently started gagging. The fact that his friends came to investigate it despite hearing him gagging surprised her and other girls use this to justify their belief boys are gross.

#

_All French citizens must have a haystack, in case the king passes by with his horse._

_France no longer has a king so that old law doesn’t apply._

_We have a King of the North; we have a Winter Emperor., everyone French citizen needs a haystack in case His Imperial Majesty Ulrich Stern wants to feed his horse._

_I, Ulrich Stern, do not have nor ever intend to own a horse. Therefore this rule/law can be discarded._

Inspired by Brighton Takuya looked up some old laws and wrote one on the rule sheet. When the obvious was pointed Takuya countered that Ulrich Stern was the King of North and the Winter Emperor.

Learning of this and seeking to not have people bug him over horse names Ulrich created his first royal decree, as people insistently call it.

#

_Don’t play the same song over and over again._

Sandra was seriously getting annoyed after hearing the same song over and over.

#

_Not wanting a detention doesn’t cancel the detention you receive._

Mrs. Meyers wasn’t impressed by April’s claims that she shouldn’t get a detention because she didn’t want one.

#

_James Finson movies suck._

_James Finson movies are blatant rip offs._

James Finson was seen on a recent interview and Ulrich and Odd decide to state their opinions of his work. Jeremy just wonders how anyone hasn’t sued him for blatant plagiarism.

#

Julien and Odd bumped into each other on accident and as they parted Julien muttered, “Dam scrawny bastard.” Clearly still smarting over Odd’s metabolism allowing him to stay skinny regardless of how much he ate. However Odd heard and snapped back, “Who are you calling a boney lanky eyesore?”

Julien stared dumbfounded as Odd vehemently declared, “I’m svelte, svelte not scrawny!”

#

_I am svelte, not scrawny. Accept it as I have and move on your vile twisted doubters, who are jealous of my svelteness._

After being called scrawny by Julien Odd felt that need that he stress that he was svelte, not scrawny.

#

_The Avengers are the best team ever!_

_No that’s the X-men!_

_Justice League hands down._

_The Alliance is eternally united._

_The Horde is family._

_Raynor’s Raiders is the non dysfunctional family._

_The best team is the Scooby Doo gang._

_The true best team is the Rescue Princess Squad._

A clash of which team was the best emerged on the rule sheet only to completely stop when Odd wrote the best team was the Rescue Princess Squad. When asked Odd refuses to explain, Ulrich won’t stop laughing, Jeremy face palms, and Aelita blushes.

#

_Anything and everything is a better romance than Twilight._

After listening Sissi go on about Twilight, Herb felt the need to set the record straight.

#

_The petition to ban swim trunks or board shorts for the pool is hereby banned._

_While public pools may enforce a Speedo only requirement, Kadic will never do so._

_Fangirls are banned from creating petitions._

_Woman can just be as perverted as men, if not more so._

When hearing word of a petition to ban swim and board shorts the teachers as a whole set the record the straight.

While no one ever came forth, most boys have taken to blaming perverted fangirls.

#

_Not all fangirls are perverted._

Not all the fangirls apparently agreed with the implication that being a fan girl meant being a pervert.

#

_Cease grabbing sticks and declaring Bankai._

_Cease declaring yourself an Espada._

_Cease declaring yourself a Sternritter._

_Cease being a buttnuck and trying to ruin our fun._

Bleach fans decided to act out some of their favorite battles however their antics annoyed Anouche. Her actions in showing her distaste for their antics that granted her the title of Bleach hater, a title that she’s merely indifferent about.

#

_Cease requesting Farkle time during class. If you must have Farkle time, do so in your own personal time._

After having five different students request Farkle time a confused Mrs. Hertz has taken the rule sheet to get her point across. The subsequent laughter this rule has ensued has confused more than one person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The laws mentioned here are actually real laws in France. My source is annieandre . com / weird-funny-french-laws 
> 
> James Finson was the movie producer from the episode End of Take. Special tanks to FFN's Raxius and flamelily274 for reminding me that he existed. Another special thanks towards flamelily274 for inspiring Odd’s svelte rant and the best team chain.


	43. Chapter 43

_Do not speak to Mr. Fumet before he has his morning coffee._

Jeremiah learned the hard that being his nephew meant very little to the fucks Mr. Fumet could give before he had his morning coffee.

#

_Iron Stomach Challenges are banned._

_Odd Della Robbia is a bottomless pit._

_Odd Della Robbia is the Lord and Master of all who devour!_

_Odd Della Robbia is a freaking human garbage disposal._

Odd, Yannick, Thiery, and Bastien decided to have an Iron Stomach Challenge Competition and Rosa was intrigued enough to cook the dishes. The results were Thiery running off to the trashcan after the second dish, Bastien gagging at the fourth, Yannick choking on the fifth, and Odd calmly finishing the seventh before declaring that he was full to a mix of everyone’s shock, disgust, awe, and horror.

In the end Odd couldn’t disagree with any of the statements about him on the rule sheet. As a disgusted Jeremy and Aelita marched him off to wash his mouth out with mouthwash Ulrich, who following behind, couldn’t but notice the odd way that Claire looked over at Odd.

#

_Brad Williams is not Wee-man!_

Jean-Baptiste was dumbfounded that anyone could confuse the comic genius of Brad Williams with the midget from Jackass and Tania maintains that it’s an understandable mistake to make.

#

_Don’t egg the school!_

Jim doesn’t who the responsible party is but he’s annoyed all the same at what he has to clean up.

#

_Godzilla was not invading France, therefore you have no excuse for your homework not being done._

While Mrs. Meyers is convinced that people will think of the dumbest and impossible excuses about why they didn’t do their homework, Emily is convinced that the students in question are simply trying to troll the teachers.

#

_There is a time and place for volunteering and in doing what you did you’ve volunteered for detention._

In the middle of class Julie jumped out of her seat and declared that she volunteered in tribute to the laughter of her classmates. Mrs. Hertz wasn’t as amused and declared that Julie had volunteered for detention, which just made her classmates laugh harder.

#

Brighton was walking when suddenly Takuya and Felix grabbed his arms and started marching him towards an empty classroom. They ignored his inquiries about where they were taking him and so Brighton remained silent when he was deposited into a desk.

He then turned and saw Milly, Tamiya, Ann, and Veronique holding cue cards. His then blinked when surprised when he saw Sandra pay Takuya and Felix some cash and then stand guard. “What is going on?” Brighton asked.

“Brighton we care about you,” Milly began. “But the chocolate eating has to slow down or stop.” Ann finished, with a stern look on her face. “You’re getting stains on everything,” Tamiya declared with a small growl. “You’re also putting on some weight,” Sandra pointed out.

“Are you serious? Did you kidnap me to give me an intervention?” Brighton declared causing an affronted Veronique to declare, “We did not kidnap you.” Completely ignoring her Brighton turned towards Takuya and Felix and asked them, “How much was it worth? How much did you cost for you to submit me to this travesty?” He finished with a wave of his hands towards the girls.

“$10 dollars each,” Felix admitted, while Takuya tossed him a look of pure mischief.

“You betrayed me for $10? I’m betrayed for a measly $10? I’m worth at least $50.” Brighton declared in a clipped tone as offense radiated from his body. Takuya started laughing in response to this as a flabbergasted Veronique declared, “You are so not worth $100.”

“You are just seeking vengeance against my uncovering of the law, you law breaker,” Brighton countered while dramatically pointing out Veronique’s pants.

“Brighton, you have to stop with the all the chocolate. It’s annoying and if you continue to get stains on anything I have to touch I’m going to knee you in the nuts.” Tamiya said recognizing that the intervention wasn’t going to back on point and went right for the jugular, as it were.

In response all three boys hissed and moved their legs to cover their balls to Sandra’s amusement.

“You want to do not so naughty things to my balls?” Brighton said with a smirk after a moment of stunned silence. “Don’t you dare make any songs Mr. I want a harem.” Milly shot back at him and causing Felix to crack up.

“I don’t want a harem,” Brighton said in reply, “But clearly Tamiya feels something for me, otherwise why else would my chocolate stains on our class project bother you so. _Oh, Tamiya do you want me? Want to do Naughty Things to me_?” He sang with a smirk and a wink.

There was a beat of silence before a twitching Tamiya starting moving forward hostility burning in her eyes and a now nervous Brighton bolted for the door

“Run, Brighton run,” Takuya and Felix called out as they backed out and watched as Tamiya gave chase while screaming, “Get back here so I can kick you in the nuts!”

#

_Don’t kidnap someone for an intervention._

_Never do an intervention in the name of vengeance._

_No one ever needs an intervention when it comes to chocolate._

_Don’t derail a needed intervention._

_Never threaten to knee someone in the balls._

_Never threaten to kick someone in the balls._

An attempted intervention over Brighton’s increased chocolate intake went awry when Brighton refused to go along with it. Seeing this Tamiya got straight to the point with a threat and thus Brighton responded with the suggestion that she wanted him.

In response Tamiya moved to make good on her threat to damage his balls and Brighton bolted from the scene.

#

_Don’t use Saint Patrick’s Day as an excuse to cosplay as Ulrich Stern._

_First off cosplaying is more than a change of clothes and secondly wearing all green is a great way to ensure that no would make the mistake of pinching me for not wearing green on Saint Patrick’s Day._

Seeking to avoid the dreaded pinch on Saint Patrick’s Day Ciel decided to dress like his older cousin. Naturally students were quick to point out this blatant excuse to express hero worship, Ciel maintains his story, and Ulrich is touched.

#

_Never pinch a teacher, regardless of whatever reason you find justifies it._

_On Saint Patrick’s Day if you don’t wear green you get pinched._

Mrs. Hertz wasn’t wearing green and Xavier was the only one with the courage and daring to pinch her. She wasn’t amused and quickly issued him a detention but he takes it with a strange sense of pride.

#

“That motherfucker cut me off,” Jeremy growled behind the wheel, “That no good rotten son of a bitch, I bet his ancestors fucked goats.” Odd started laughing in the back seat, Aelita in shotgun stared at him in surprise, and Ulrich from the back called out. “Did you really just call that guy’s ancestor’s goat fuckers because he cut you off?”

“That’s it,” Jeremy muttered either ignoring or not noticing Ulrich’s question. “That mother fucker from hell is getting it.” He then to their horror floored it caught up to the person who cut them off, got past them, and then switched to their lane, all the while flipping the other driver off. “Yeah, that’s what you get, that’s what you get.”

#

_Jeremy Belpois is savage behind the wheel._

While on a trip into Jeremy got cut off and subsequently grew outrage. After making insulting comments towards the driver he then gained vengeance by cutting them off while flipping them off.

Aelita is still surprised, Odd just finds it all hilarious, and Ulrich is still in disbelief over Jeremy’s antics.

#

_The proper response to having trouble with homework is to seek assistance from your friends or a teacher. One should never run into the hall, jump onto the banister and slide down it while screaming that homework sucks._

Faced with homework that he deemed impossible Danny decided to share his opinion on it in a dramatic way and Herb is just flabbergasted that anyone would choose such a way to vent their frustrations.

#

_When someone’s laundry is finished put it in the nearby hamper, don’t dump it on the floor._

_Never leave your laundry unattended in the laundry room, especially when it comes to the best dryer._

_People can be so inconsiderate._

Heidi was rather dismayed to discover that someone just dumped her clean clothes on the floor in order to use the best dryer in the laundry room. The staff is just surprised that the students consider one of the dryers better than the others.

#

_No one is too sexy for their shirt._

_Ulri---_

_Fangirls are not allowed to write on the rule sheet._

_Preventing others from writing on the rule sheet is rude._

Sick of the boys in her year’s new game of taking off their shirts at random on the grounds of them being too sexy for it caused Ashley to seek to ban it. Naturally fangirls opposed this move and one of Ulrich’s fangirls set out to officially make an exception on the rule sheet. However Ashley was anticipating this and thus was quick to yank said fangirl from the rule sheet when she started writing.

#

_Don’t pick your nose._

_There is a difference between picking and scratching your nose._

April was disgusted to find Hiroki seemingly picking his nose. When in reality Hiroki was scratching his nose because it itched.

#

_Only in math will the correct answer be 42 and even then only if the equation comes out to 42._

_42 is the answer to the_ _answer to life, the universe, and everything._

_The_ _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ _is a fiction book; therefore it is for entertainment and not based on fact._

_Never gloat when proven correct._

When the students started saying that 42 was the answer to every question the teachers they became less amused over time. Thus they took to the rule sheet to nip this 42-nonsense in the bud. Mrs. Meyers became the most vexed over it all because the students took to gloating when the answer was 42.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to FFN's Raxius for inspiring Jeremy’s antics behind the wheel and Teen-Lyokofan7777 of FFN for inspiring the number 42 reference from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and before anyone makes comments I am well aware not having this in Chapter 42 is a missed opportunity and as such it was included in Chapter 43.


	44. Chapter 44

_Cease calling Tamiya the Ball Breaker._

_Cease calling Tamiya the Nut Destroyer._

_Stop calling Tamiya Hunt Nut._

_Stop calling Tamiya the Nut Seeker._

_Tamiya will no longer be referred as the Hater of Nuts._

_Tamiya will no longer be referred to as Kick a Nut._

Tamiya learned that chasing Brighton and screaming for him to take a kick in the nuts had interesting consequences. Thus she acquired some interesting nicknames and the stunned girl’s friends were quick to take action against them.

#

_It wasn’t the food. The farts started before the cafeteria food was ever eaten._

_No one can ever intentionally fart, so cease declaring that Fart Day was engineered by the students._

_Stop calling March 21 st Fart Day. It is not a Kadic holiday, official or otherwise, and should never be implied to be a Kadic holiday ever._

_Conspiracy theories have no place in school._

_When you are applying conspiracy theories to farts, you have too much time on your hands._

_Always clench your butthole to muffle the sounds of the farts that you know are coming._

_No matter how old you are farts will always be funny._

_Students cannot receive detention for farting._

It was a day that Kadic will never forget, the day that the majority of students had to pass gas. The smell became too unbearable for Mr. Klotz at one point, Jim put serious thought into the students doing it on purpose, and Yolanda blamed their food intake. However in doing so she offended Rosa who was quick to put out that the food she made had nothing to do with it.

The students were surprised that anyone could suggest or even believe that anyone could fart on purpose, a gagging Aelita was against Fart Day ever being considered a Kadic Holiday, and the likes of Herb and Alexandre were united in disliking conspiracy theories, especially ones that focused on the farts being done on purpose in a diabolic attempt to shut down the school or prevent homework from given out.

Meanwhile Sherry was rather disturbed at how loud some of the farts ended up being, and Takuya is convinced that farts will always be funny.

Though plenty of students maintain the highlight of the day was when Mr. Fumet snapped and tried to give detentions to the farting students.

#

_Beware the aliens from the sky who seek to study and enslave us._

No one ever admits to writing the rule but Sissi and Taretha know that the rule was written to get on their nerves.

#

_Don’t’ stab someone with a carrot._

_When someone says don’t give spoilers and you continue to give out spoilers….you shall suffer the consequences._

_Using food as a weapon also has consequences such as detention and causing a food fight._

_There will be no food fights at Kadic!_

Hiroki didn’t want spoilers for this upcoming movie that he wanted to see. However Johnny couldn’t stop talking about and after ignoring Hiroki’s instruction one too many times Hiroki snapped and stabbed his best friend with his food.

In retrospect Johnny considers himself fortunate that Hiroki grabbed the carrot and not his fork. Though in that moment in time too he was to busing focusing on how much it hurt being stabbed with a carrot.

Seeing this some others decided to get a food fight going and Rosa is making clear she will not tolerate food fights.

#

_Jim Morales was a secret government agent whose prior jobs were a cover for his government work._

_A highlander needs things to do to occupy their time._

Pierre had an epiphany that Jim’s insistence use of “I’d rather not talk about it” was in fact code for not being able to talk about. Thus he is now convinced that Jim was in fact a secret government agent and was quick to share the news.

Seeing this Tristan decided to once again refer to Jim as a highlander.

#

_Restore the internet._

_The smartest students at the school Jeremy, Aelita, Herb, Emily, etc…. are not magically internet fixers._

_Always leave certain matters to the professionals._

_As the announcement over the loud speaker revealed the the service provider from which we receive our internet from has suffered a malfunction and it is estimated to take some time to fix. Until then project which require internet use have been extended and all students are encouraged to find other means of entertaining themselves._

A malfunction affected the local internet based company in the area, which had the side effect of shutting down the internet at Kadic. A majority of the students were handling the loss of the internet poorly and turned to the likes of Jeremy, Aelita, Herb, and Emily to restore the internet to power. However they were unable to do anything about the internet and while Aelita and Emily ultimately decided to shrug it off and just hang with their friends, Jeremy and Herb mourned the loss of the internet and the lack of power they had in restoring it.

Upon seeing the antics of his students Principal Delmas felt the need to reiterate the message he had given over the loud speakers onto the rule sheet.

#

_No sock sliding tournaments._

_You can’t tell people to entertain themselves and complain when they do._

A group of students decided to have a sock sliding tournament and nearly crashed into Nicole Weber. She therefore objected to sock sliding tournaments which caused Ciel to point that they were told to entertain themselves with Fenris adding that complaining after the fact was messed up.

#

_Don’t use the bed sheets for limbo._

_We were told to entertain ourselves and we are._

Brighton, Takuya, Felix and their friends had taken bed sheet and fashioned them into a limbo pole for a game of limbo. As they were enjoying themselves Mrs. Meyers came upon and objected to the use of school property in such a manner.

#

Delmas was walking enjoying the fresh air when Tristan suddenly dropped down in front of him and as he opened to mouth to inquire if he needed anything he noticed Jeremiah, James, and Pierre come up behind Tristan, from the corner of his eye he saw other students spreading out, and then he heard the music.

“What is going?” He questioned as he registered the tune as being familiar but unable to place it.

“ _He’s gonna be a mighty king_ ,” Tristan sang as he rose and then he linked arms with Pierre, who smirked and sang out. “ _So beware the royal coup_.” Then as the pair jumped back, with their friends falling behind even as other students joined them. The music then dimmed briefly before returning with gusto as the students before him began to sing as one.

_ "He’s going to be a mighty king,  
One whose nice and fair. _

_ He’s going to be the main event,  
Like no king was before,  
He will guide all of us,  
With his magnificent howl. _

_ He’s such an inspiring person,  
Oh, we can’t until he ascends,  
Beware the royal coup. _

_ He won’t tell us to do one thing,  
Then complain when we do it,  
For the emperor is wise and fair,  
Oh, his majesty will ascend. _

_ He won’t tell us to stop that,  
Especially when were hurting no one,  
So it’s time for you realize,  
The time of the Winter is here. _

_ We’re going to do things his way,  
The way of the Winter Emperor,  
Because of who he is,  
That amazing Ulrich Stern. _

_ It’s time you realize,  
Your reign is ending,  
You just can’t compare,  
To the Wolf Lord. _

_ This is where the monarchy is beginning,  
So if you can’t handle it,  
Count yourself out,  
Out of service, out of France. _

_ For the reign of the Wolf is beginning,  
That Ulrich Stern will be King,  
The Lord of Wolves,  
His Winter Majesty. _

_ Everybody look left,  
Everybody look right,  
All that you’ve seen,  
Will be the beginning,  
Of the domain of His Majesty. _

_ Spread word far and wide,  
Let everyone know,  
That the time has come,  
For Ulrich Stern to ascend. _

_Oh, we can’t wait for him to become King,  
Oh, we can’t wait for him to become Emperor.  
Oh, we can’t wait for the reign of the Wolf God.  
Oh, we can’t wait for the reign of Ulrich Stern."_

Before a gaping Delmas could respond a howl was sounded behind causing him to jump in shock, causing the singers to either cheer, howl, or declare “All hail Ulrich!” Thus when Delmas turned out he was unsurprised to find a smirking Ulrich Stern before.

“Remember,” Ulrich said his voice filled with mirth, “You said to entertain ourselves.” “And we did,” a laughing Odd declared as he emerged from the crowd grabbed as he linked his arms with Ulrich’s. With twin grins they declared, “Encore, time” and the students once sang.

As the others came out to investigate what was going on, Delmas numbly walked back into his office blaming his girlfriend and Mrs. Meyers for what he just witnessed.

#

_Never tell people to entertain themselves and then side with the people telling them not entertain themselves. After all in response you might become the entertainment._

Fed up with being told to entertain themselves and then not being told to not entertain themselves the students got together to perform their own version of Lion King’s “ _I just can’t wait to Be King_ ” promoting the reign Ulrich Stern first to Principal Delmas, then to the other teachers, and yet the encore never seemed to end.

The staff was never more grateful for the internet being resorted, though Jim privately thinks that they were getting bored of singing and the internet returning was just a convenient coincidence to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Raxius of FFN for suggesting that people will start making up random things about Jim’s life after the use of his catch phrase. 
> 
> Tristan first referred to Jim as a Highlander back in Chapter 7.


	45. Chapter 45

The early morning risers were rather surprised to see Odd casually leaning by Jeremy’s door. They were further confused when they saw he had a keyboard in his hands and thus when Aelita asked him what he was doing, Odd merely smirked and told her to wait for it.

A sudden shout from within the room caused both of them to jump at the door, one in concern and the other in glee. They entered the room and beheld Jeremy staring in horror at his keyboard which now had grass poking out from the keys. Even as Aelita turned a look at Odd, Jeremy murmured, “My keyboard….”

“April Fools!” Odd declared causing Jeremy to jump and Aelita to wince at the volume. “Here’s your keyboard buddy.” Odd said with a smirk as he placed the keyboard on the bed and then he tipped an invisible hat to Aelita before rushing out of the room.

“Did Odd replace my keyboard with a keyboard filled a grass garden,” Jeremy asked in the silence that followed. In response Aelita nodded and said, “This isn’t a dream Jeremy and this really happened. So why don’t you get dressed and I’ll get your keyboard attached and then make a note on the rule sheet.”

“Okay,” Jeremy said in a state of numbness and then, “Wait…. April fool’s Day…. Payback will be mine Odd.”

#

_Never touch Jeremy’ computer, monitor, keyboard, mouse, or any other component that he has attached to it._

_Don’t replace a working keyboard with a keyboard with a grass garden inside of it._

_Hypocrisy is never a good look on anyone._

In honor of April fool’s day Odd replaced Jeremy’s keyboard with one that had a grass garden inside of it. Despite all the effort Odd put into the prank Jeremy wasn’t amused and became rather miffed that he made him think that his keyboard was forever tarnished. As Jeremy was getting dressed for the day Aelita took to the rule sheet and Odd couldn’t help point out that her written rule was pure hypocrisy considering that she messed with Jeremy’s computer to prank him last year.

#

_Don’t tape an airhorn to your teacher’s seat._

_Always thoroughly check your chair before you sit._

Taking advantage of Mrs. Hertz’s habit of standing in class an unknown student attached an airhorn under her chair. Thus when she sat down the airhorn got caught everyone off guard, immediately made sure her class was wide awake, and caused Mrs. Hertz to shriek as she bolted off her chair.

#

_Don’t ignore sarcasm._

_Beware the teenage mind for it will run wild and ignore all logic._

_Jim Morales is neither a highland nor the Highlander._

_Never put Jim and cross-dressing in the same sentences ever again!_

_Brain bleach must be invited to shear the disturbing images from our minds._

As an April’s Fools Day joke Jim sarcastically admitting to not being able talk his past. This in turn backfired on him when Pierre and Tristan proceeded to run wild with theories. Pierre expressed his belief that Jim once saved the French’s Minister’s life and in turn Tristan theorized that he must be at least 750 years old. At one point cross-dressing was brought up and both teenagers are convinced that Jim had to have done it at least one since appearing as a woman would be rather useful in certain situation that an immoral or government agent could find themselves in.

#

_Never tell someone you’re pregnant as an April’s Fool’s joke._

_Adele Della Robbia is a horrible, horrible influence._

Under the influence of Adele Rosa decided to tell her boyfriend that she was pregnant with twins which caused Mr. Klotz to faint on the spot. After awakening Mr. Klotz learned the truth and has since declared Adele a horrible influence.

#

_To the person who replaced the oreo cream with toothpaste in the oreo cookies….you are a horrible, horrible person and should be ashamed of yourself and lock yourself in your room as punishment._

_To reiterate a past rule: “Never trust free food, especially when you don’t know the sender” or in this case maker._

Seeing oreo cookies left out on a cafeteria table caused the older soccer players to bolt immediately from them as they remembered their prior experience with free food. While seeing this caused others to not touch the cookies, others who weren’t so fast on the uptake felt that they had scored food, and thus were surprised upon learning that the oreo filling in the cookies had been replaced with toothpaste.

While the likes of Takuya were cursing the fiend who put toothpaste in the oreo cookies Jean-Baptiste decided to reiterate the past rule about not trusting free food.

_#_

_Don’t mess with someone else’s phone._

Pierre got a hold of Tristan’s phone and proceeded to change his contact list into Not Alan Ashford, with the exception of the Alan contact which became Totally Alan Ashford. Thus Tristan had to spend some time fixing it all and is now plotting payback.

_#_

_Don’t fake break up with your significant other._

_Unless you know that you can actually carry out a prank don’t even attempt it._

_Matthew Ducrocq and Thomas Jolivet are the sweetest couple of all time._

Matthew and Thomas decided to fake break up as their April fool’s day prank. However during the attempted public break up neither could actually make themselves say the words and the pair dissolved into laugher before kissing.

It didn’t stop the fangirls from freaking out over the idea of the pair breaking up, Paul expressing his disappointment that the pair couldn’t even get the prank done, and the majority of the students were quick to declare them the sweetest couple they’ve ever seen.

_#_

_When seeking payback be aware that bystanders can be caught in the crossfire._

Determined to have vengeance Jeremy tried to trick Odd with a fake spider by dumping the spider into Odd’s hair during class. However what he didn’t realize was that the fake spider trick was a rather common trick within the Della Robbia household and thus had no effect. However unknown to the both of them Alexandre, who was near them, had arachnophobia and immediately grabbed his book and attempted to whack the spider in order to kill it. While Ulrich and Nicholas reached forward to stop him from whacking Odd in the head the book got thrown out of his hands and nearly whack Mr. Fumet instead.

To the amazement of everyone no got detention, which most people believe is because that Mr. Fumet was in too much shock that Jeremy of all people started the cascading events.

#

_Don’t pretend to know someone famous. It’s tacky and only the gullible will believe it._

_The only people on first name basis with the Subdigitals are Jim Morales, on the account of his nephew Chris being the band’s drummer, and Aelita, who had served as an opening act for the group._

_The more you harass someone to introduce you to someone famous, the less likely they are going to introduce to said famous person._

_Even if you are positive that you already shared certain information, you should share it again to make all parties know it._

_After all just because something is common knowledge doesn’t mean everyone knows it!_

Nate Dunbar tried to trick his friends by making them think he was on first names basis with Nico, the lead singer of the Subdigitals. However while his friends were not deceived the sixth graders did learn about Jim and Aelita’s connection with the band after word of the prank attempt spread.

Even as certain students took to pestering Jim and Aelita, an offended Ciel demanded to know why his cousin never shared it. For his part Ulrich is positive that he did share such knowledge at least one point and regarded it as common knowledge, which caused Ciel to point that something being common knowledge doesn’t mean that everyone knows it.

_#_

Principal Jean Pierre Delmas walked into office only to freeze as he beheld members of the soccer club spread out throughout. He blinked and opened his mouth to inquire what they were doing in here when his office chair swerved around and then closed in eyes in resignation.

“Welcome to my throne,” Ulrich Stern said with a fanged grin. There was a moment of silence before to the shock and horror of the students Delmas fell backwards to the floor. “What?” “Huh” “The fuck” was the reactions of those present before Matthew gently kicked him in the side causing Thomas to let out a hissed “Matthew, what are you doing?”

“Yep,” Matthew commented, “He’s dead.” At these words Fenris let out a shocked, “We gave him a heart attack?” which was a rather reasonable assumption given the circumstances and at the same time “The ascension killed him?” came from Ciel.

“I Live!” Their principal announced with a roar and as he bolted up Matthew jumped back into Thomas and both nearly fell to the floor before they regained their footing. Meanwhile the sixth graders shrieked in surprise, Tristan and Pierre were trying to hide behind one another, Jeremiah was clutching his heart, and James went completely still like a statue. Meanwhile Theo stood there gaping his phone still in hand, even as Jean-Baptiste briefly fumbled with his phone before he caught it.

Upon witnessing these reactions both Principal Delmas and Ulrich found themselves snorting in amusement. Eyes then locked with one another, flashing with surprise and amusement that they had the same reaction.

“Now we’ve all had fun,” Delmas began, “But it is time to face the music.” He shot a pointed look at each student. “You know,” Matthew began, “By faking that heart attack you could have traumatized us.” He then licked his lips and then continued, “Like seriously, what would the parents think about you, The Principal, traumatizing their kids?”

“And what would your parents say to you all breaking into my office?” Delmas countered. There was a moment’s pause. “My parents wouldn’t care,” Ulrich countered causing Delmas to give him a look of pure disbelief. “I know your parents and if you think for one moment that I would believe such a bold face lie think again.” He finished as he stared down a smirking Ulrich. “As long as I don’t get expelled or arrested dad is actually pretty chill with the pranks I pull. Probably because Uncle Frederick is way worse….” Ulrich trailed off thoughtfully.

“Mr. Delmas did you wonder how we got into your office? Did you recall exactly whose parents are locksmiths, especially the ones that helped design the keys for Kadic?” Jean-Baptiste said causing Delmas to swerve his head towards him in disbelief. “It’s April fool’s day and my mother is a prankster at heart.” He continued answering the unvoiced question.

“Fine but do you expect me to believe the rest of your parents won’t care?” “Eh…Stephen got caught in a pregnancy scare, Candice got into a bar fight, and Edmund is dating an older woman, so this will just slide by.” Matthew commented with a shrug.

“Your ex-wife pissed off my mom which irritated my dad, so there’s a 50-50 chance if I’ll get in trouble with them or not,” Thomas admitted causing Delmas to face palm at either the mere mention of ex-wife, the possible pettiness of the Jolivet family, or even a bizarre combination of both.

“I’m going to snipe you all….get out of my office,” Delmas declared with a sigh and the students eagerly obeyed his commands.

#

_The Coup D’etat shall not be repeated._

_Don’t fake a heart attack against your students for successfully dethroning you._

_There are better ways for dealing with your students then snipping them in Call of Duty._

The soccer club briefly took control of the principal’s office which caused Delmas to fake out a heart attack in order to get back at them for taking going through a coup d’etat. In the end they were able to talk them out of receiving punishment and in turn Delmas has taken to stalking and snipping if they happen to be playing Call of Duty at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Code Lyoko episodes showing off with Subdigitals band members in them are: Opening Act, Crash Course, and Soothe the Savage Beast.
> 
> Aelita pranked Jeremy back in Chapter 13 and the repeated rule about not trusting free food was first used in Chapter 24.


	46. Chapter 46

_Being still like a statue will not save you from punishment._

Julie is convinced that some people will try the dumbest things to avoid punishment.

#

_Jurassic Park is not a documentary of real events._

_When trying to trick people beware of what can truly trick others and only trick the gullible._

Leo was bored and sought to see if he could trick people into believing that Jurassic Park was based on a true story. Meanwhile Danny felt the need to point out the obvious due to being offended at the idea that anyone would actually fall for such a lie.

#

_Never fill a blazed doughnut box full of broccoli and carrots._

_Hans Klotz is the doughnut blasphemer._

_Mr. Klotz is the doughnut inhaler._

In order to get back at Adele for convincing Rosa to carry out the pregnancy prank Mr. Klotz filled an empty glazed doughnut box with broccoli and carrots and then gave it Adele under the guise of sincerity. Thus Adele was dismayed when she saw its actual contents were not delicious doughnuts and is has now declared him the doughnut blasphemer.

The fact that Mr. Klotz never explained how he got an empty doughnut box caused the students to speculate. This speculation eventually evolved into the theory that Mr. Klotz bought a box of doughnuts and devoured them all to create the empty doughnut box needed for his prank.

#

_When you get lost in your closet, you fail at life._

_There is a difference between being locked in a closet and being lost in a closet._

_There is a difference between Zoro and Zorro._

Takuya will never ever let Felix live this down and Felix maintains that he wasn’t lost but locked in by Takuya. The fact that he blushes when pointing this out has done little to convince people of his version of events.

The few students took to calling him Zoro were disappointed that he didn’t get the correct reference and thought that they were referring to Zorro.

#

_You can’t declare who needs anger management and the pamphlets shall cease at once._

Principal Delmas wasn’t impressed at all by the anger management pamphlets that were slipped into his office, especially since they were accompanied by a note telling him to work out his issues in a non Call of Duty way.

#

_Cross dressing will never be a Kadic holiday._

No one remembers who starts it, though blame is tossed at Tristan’s and Pierre’s way, but at the end of the day all the guys are in agreement that they will never cross dress all the same.

#

_Don’t refer to Kadic as the Madhouse or the Asylum._

_Don’t order pizza unless you are going to share._

_When someone fulfills a food craving that is all that they are doing. There was no intention of insulting the cook._

_Kadic alumni should set a positive example and not encourage the madness._

Bastien, Paul, and Jean-Baptiste felt like having pizza and so called Pizza Hut. The three were surprised when Terry was the one to deliver their pizza. While others congratulated Terry for having a part time job during his college experience, others were offended that the three didn’t have any intention of sharing their pizza, and Rosa felt that they were insulting her cooking by saying it wasn’t good enough.

Meanwhile Principal Delmas was just dismayed that Terry announced his presence with, “Two pepperoni pizzas delivered to the Asylum as requested”. He was further dismayed when Terry expressed how he and Caroline were extremely proud over the school creating a Valentine’s Day version of Naughty Things and that Mr. Klotz had Naughty Things as his ringtone.

#

_Stop referring to me as Saint Ulrich._

The fact that Ulrich didn’t suffer an ego trip in light of his sheer popularity made it clear to Alexandre that he had to do something with it. Thus he took to calling him Saint Ulrich, which rather annoyed his friend.

#

_Rule number one: Never mention Harry Potter and the Cursed Child again._

_Rule number two: Refer to rule number one._

_No crossovers on the rule sheet._

In a conversation between Xavier and Emilio the former casually mentioned that over spring break his cousin saw Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. However the conversion was overheard and those who disliked the play took measures to ensure that they never hear it mentioned again.

While Xavier felt they had no business in reacting over a private conversation, Emilio was offended that Fight Club was used for a Harry Potter centered rule.

#

_If you must listen to erotic songs do so while wearing headphones!_

_Wearing headphones to listen to music requires plugging the headphones into your music device._

_Theo Gauthier is a corrupting influence._

_Don’t blame someone for the choices that another person makes._

The CPT was not amused by the erotic music blasting from Theo’s iPod and his sheer refusal to wear headphones. They were further distraught when Emily ended up listening to Theo’s erotic music while wearing headphones that were not plugged in to the iPod.

In response to witnessing this Theo has been declared a corrupting influence on his girlfriend and he thus took to the rule sheet to defend himself.

#

_Odd Della Robbia is not Ulrich Stern’s pet._

Why exactly anyone would think that Odd was Ulrich’s pet was something Odd, Ulrich, Jeremy, and Aelita don’t want to know.

#

_Dorm rooms are sanctuaries._

_Those who damage or destroy rooms must clean the mess they made up._

Seeking payback on Pierre Tristan rigged a bucket filled with pudding above the door and waited. Thus when Pierre opened the door he became covered in pudding and as he beheld Tristan laughing at him Pierre gave a roar and tackled. In the end the pudding seemed to get everywhere and both boys were forced to clean the mess.

#

_Kadic will not succeed from France and become its own country._

_It is possible to be wrong and yet right at the same time._

_Bets are forbidden from Kadic grounds._

_Don’t make rules on the rule sheet out of pettiness._

While Delmas immediately turns his suspicious eyes towards the soccer club, its members turn their attention towards various students with the likes of Odd, Brighton, and Takuya among them. However they in turn protest their innocence and pointed the finger elsewhere.

Needless a chain of finger pointing ensured that lasted a full three days before a surprised Mr. Chardin paid Jim $50 in accordance with their bet. While Delmas was a mix of amused and resigned to his staff’s antics, Mrs. Meyers sought to ban bets from Kadic and was called out on it by the students.

#

_Google is not God._

Takuya starting swearing by Google and Sherry wasn’t amused.

#

_No matter how hard pray you will never acquire the power to punch people over the internet._

Xavier got into an argument with someone in a forum and wanted nothing more than to punch the unknown person for being an obnoxious asshole.

#

_While accomplishing a New Year’s Eve Resolution is an achievement cease bragging about it._

_There is a difference between informing and bragging._

Hiroki had completed his New Year’s Eve Resolution of learning a new language and overdid it when informing others of his success. While Hiroki does admit that he may have gone a bit overboard it, he rejects the notion he was bragging about learning Spanish, and others are surprised that he decided to learn Spanish over German.

#

_Don’t call someone a stupid walnut, its offensive to walnuts._

Sissi overheard a group of students calling James Finson a stupid walnut and decided to set the record straight.

#

_The dorms are not haunted._

Kiwi was particularly restless one night and the subsequent noises caused Odd’s friends to joke that the dorms were haunted. As it spread it got to the staff and one of them eventually went to the rule sheet after the seventh graders decided to investigate for ghost sightings.

#

_Listening to country music is only annoying for those who dislike it._

Lola decided to prank Tristan and Pierre by setting up an alarm that would play country music in order to wake them up. However while Pierre was annoyed, Tristan was rather chill with it as listening to country music was one his guilty pleasures.

#

_Hating Nickelback is just a meme at this point._

After hearing Tania talk smack about Nickelback, Claire felt the need to point out the obvious.

#

_Never mention love potion number nine around Mrs. Hertz._

_Don’t call Mrs. Hertz the woman with the puppy killer glare._

Jeremiah thought it would be amusing to ask Mrs. Hertz if she would ever teach them how to create love potion number nine. Her reaction was to give him the deepest glare that he swears would kill puppies and now he regrets ever asking the question.

#

_The assassination of Paul Doumer led to Albert François Lebrun becoming President of France._

_Don’t list random facts on the rule sheet._

_DON’T USE THE RULE SHEET TO ANSWER HOMEWORK QUESTIONS!_

_Don’t talk in all caps on the rule sheet._

Upon seeing the newest rule Julien thought that somebody decided to share a random fact of France’s history on the rule sheet. It wasn’t Mr. Fumet saw the rule and grew enraged did people realize that somebody decided to choose a unique method to help their classmates with their homework.

Mr. Fumet then turns his ire towards the class in question and someone taking the time to point that he shouldn’t talk in all caps on the rule sheet did little to improve his mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Teen-Lyokofan7777 of FFN for suggesting the erotic songs with headphones rule and the not using all capital letters on the rule sheet.


	47. Chapter 47

_Looking for reasons to give your entire class detention because they haven’t coughed up the culprit is extremely petty and beneath a teacher’s talent._

_Don’t accuse anyone of doing anything that they were not doing._

For a few days after an unknown student used the rule sheet to share a homework answer Mr. Fumet came off as wanting to issue detention to all his classes until they coughed up the culprit. Mr. Fumet vehemently denies this and he further denies it after someone took to the rule sheet to call him out his perceived pettiness.

#

_Unless the world is really ending there is no reason for you to not have homework completed._

_Always complete your homework before the date is it due._

After catching Takuya finishing up his homework before she went to collect it Mrs. Hertz asked him why he hadn’t completed it earlier only for the young man to tell her that the world was ending. Unimpressed she merely raised her eyebrow and Takuya is rather impressed with how much scorn she was able to put in it.

#

_Permission must always be required before playing humans vs. zombies on campus._

_When playing humans vs. zombies players should always have an awareness of, and be mindful of the non-players._

_When a picnic is ruined don’t tackle the culprit into the ground, especially when they were unaware of destroying said picnic._

The unexpected surprise of a game of humans vs. zombies disturbed the carefully laid plans of Sarah and James to have a picnic when one of the humans trampled over their food. Upon witnessing his hard work destroyed James gave chase after Jeremiah and ended up tackling him to the ground. Meanwhile Sarah ended up kicking zombie team member Pierre in the balls when he thought it would be funny to attack her.

#

_Half of the time nicknames are created to annoy people._

_Don’t make someone’s name a noun._

_Think long and hard in order before you do or say anything in order to ensure that you are not walking into anything._

_Those blind with rage are destiny ensnared._

After witnessing the lack of any interesting nicknames given to Sarah after she kicked someone in the balls an outraged Tamiya demanded to know why she got all nicknames for the threat of doing what Sarah actually did. This in turn caused a few students to use her name as a noun for people complaining and Tamiya was quick to loath the phase, “Pulling a Tamiya.”

Upon seeing this Tristan couldn’t resist the urge to add his favorite Ariel quote from the Legacy of Kain series and plenty of people found it appropriate for the situation.

#

_If a zombie apocalypse were to happen we would have to contend with slow zombies._

_If a zombie apocalypse were to happen we would have to contend with fast zombies._

_Do not debate the manner of slow and fast zombies. It is personal choice, and we don’t need another argument on the rule sheet._

The recent game of humans vs. zombies caused a debate on if zombies would slow and fast which caused Johnny and Hiroki to take to the rule sheet to illustrate their beliefs on what kind of zombies would be faced if a hypothetical zombie apocalypse.

Upon seeing these two rules Lola, who is rather neutral about the debate of slow vs. fast zombies, took to the rule sheet to get her opinion of the matter known.

#

_When the pants begin to rip it’s time to throw them out._

Milly wasn’t a fan of the ripped jean look and didn’t appreciate Xavier’s desire to try it out.

#

_When watching videos on YouTube be aware will ads can and will appear. As such the proper response is to wait the ads out and not try to convince fellow students to hack YouTube and remove ads from the videos you like._

_Students are not allowed to engage illegal activities such as hacking._

Disgruntled about the ads cutting into his music loop Danny sought out Jeremy to see if he could hack into YouTube to turn off the ads. However Jeremy refused the request as it was illegal, and unfortunately for Danny Mrs. Meyers had overheard the question. Thus Danny received an unwelcomed lecture about how hacking was wrong and illegal.

As the rest of the students learned about the incident Ulrich couldn’t help but be impressed that Jeremy was able to keep a straight face when saying that he couldn’t hack because it was illegal, Aelita couldn’t help but give her boyfriend the side eye and snort, while Odd erupted into giggles at the face of the expression of innocent Jeremy was displaying on his face.

#

“The end is near,” Nicholas spoke apropos of nothing confusing Herb. Herb opened his mouth to inquire what Nicholas was speaking when Sissi cut in with, “You’re right the school year is coming to an end.” Herb let out a relieve sigh that Nicholas was talking about the school year coming to a close and not one of those the end of the world doomsday nonsense.

“Yeah Senior year is coming to ….”Herb trailed off as Nicholas and Sissi suddenly looked at him, one with a smile and the smirk. “Do you have your eye on anyone?” Nicholas cut in causing Herb to blink in surprise. “What?”

“I have Sam and Nicholas has Heidi,” Sissi began, “But you don’t have anyone. That came out wrong… You’re not dating anyone,” She nodded satisfied that she made it all better before continuing, “And we want you to find the happiness that we’ve found.” She finished with a look of sincerity on her face, but Herb saw a glint in her eyes all the same.

“That’s not necessary,” Herb stated but was prevented from continuing when Sam and Heidi come from behind and linked their arms into his own. He then turned pleading eyes toward Nicholas only to be betrayed when his best friend gave him a grin. “All right,” Sissi declared, “Let the matchmaking begin.”

As they marched him to Sissi’s dorm room Herb found himself wishing that Nicholas had believed that the world was ending. Dealing with that would have been so much easier than dealing with Sissi’s desire to match him up with someone.

#

_Never get between Sissi Delmas and her target when it comes to matchmaking._

When Sissi gets an idea in her head more often than not she runs with it and she’s decided that her good friend Herb needs someone in his life. If anyone were to ask Herb would flat admit that his opinion on the manner was irrelevant in the face of Sissi’s desires.

#

_When seeking a piggy back ride to class at least have the decency to ask before leaping onto to another’s back._

_To avoid potential issues simply walk to class._

_Nate Adams hasn’t put on any pounds nor is he heavy, he is svelte!_

_Odd Della Robbia isn’t allowed to make anyone his apprentice._

Deciding that walking to class was too much of a bother Nate Adams decided the best way to get to class was if someone else brought him to class. As such as he jumped upon Fenris’s back and the resulting unexpected extra weight caused both boys to collapse on the ground to Ciel’s amusement.

In a preemptive attack against possible jokes about him being too heavy to carry Nate took to the rule sheet. However use of the word of the svelte raised a few eyebrows and Odd remarking that he needed to make Nate his apprentice. In response that Claire felt the need to make her feelings abundantly clear on the matter.

#

_Don’t graffiti the school._

_All art must be appreciated._

_While art should be appreciated the likes of graffiti isn’t art._

A bored Anton decided to try his hand at graffiti and was caught by Mr. Chardin in the act. Upon being given detention Anton protested on the grounds that all must art must be appreciated and not punished. In turn Mr. Chardin told him that not only did the detention stand but that graffiti isn’t true art. To Anton’s vexation Mr. Chardin now suspects him of being responsible for the drawing of the man farting fire the teacher discovered earlier in the year.

#

_Pride always comes before the fall._

_When someone is gagging from a smell just walk away and ignore the rules of the courtesy sniff._

_The courtesy sniff proves all boys are insane._

_Jim Morales is the bravest man in the universe._

Despite hearing Ciel nearly puke from the horrible smell of something Fenris’s pride forced him to repay Ciel’s courtesy sniff. While Ciel was able keep it in, Fenris wasn’t and subsequently hurled all over the thing. While Ciel guided his friend to the nurse’s office, Leo felt the need to add his two cents to the rule sheet, a passing Alexandre pointed out the common sense approach, and Taretha is firmly that the courtesy sniff is inherit proof of the insanity within the male species.

There are times where Jim really hates his job and cleaning up Fenris’s puke in addition that the thing that caused the hurling to begin with is one of those times. On the bonus it has caused him to receive unexpected praise from people who wouldn’t go near the stench even if they were paid too.

#

_Too much coffee can twist your head. After all the proper sentence should have been “Don’t binge coffee, just don’t… instead of “Doesn’t binge drink, just don’t…”_

_There are times when it seems like people are asking to be snipped by our lovingly principal._

_No one likes a brownnoser._

_It’s not brownnosing when it’s true._

Bastien found himself unable to resist a dig against Principal Delmas after noticing his word error on the rule sheet. This subsequently led to Bastien complaining about being repeatedly snipped in Call of Duty which caused an unimpressed Theo to respond. While many agree with the sentiment that people seem to be asking to be snipped they found the way the rule was written rather suspicious.

While others are convinced that Theo was trying to forge some good will in case of future mischief, others were quick to call him out on brownnosing. Suffice to say Theo’s attempt at defending himself did very little to convince that it wasn’t but brownnosing.

#

_Stop going around campus and declaring Kadic Forever, while doing the Black Panther pose._

_Never! Kadic Forever!_

While she enjoyed the movie, Sherry quickly got irritated with the constant shouts of Kadic Forever.

#

_Denial isn’t good for the soul, especially when it comes to who you are attracted too._

Claire death glares at Ulrich, who nudges Odd with his elbow. Odd, who was rather mystified at why Ulrich dragged him to the rule sheet, rabidly blinks in shock while murmuring, “Wait…what…she…which means the cracks…the hostility…. The Voodoo Doll!” He snapped stunned eyes at the now red faced Claire. Ignoring the widen eyes of his classmates Ulrich snapped his fingers which triggered Claire and Odd to emerge from their shock.

As Claire stomped away, Odd gave chase, and Ulrich smiled and murmured, “They would really look cute together.”


	48. Chapter 48

_Never gloat when your plans come together because it just makes you obnoxious._

_Obnoxiousness is only present when in a person when they actually gloat._

_Despite what others may believe there is just a thing as silent gloating, especially when you are doing it with your eyes!_

_There will be no civil wars at Kadic._

_You cannot promise someone to another._

While the exact words that were exchanged between Claire and Odd remain a mystery to everyone but them, the end result was the pair being caught making out. With confirmation of them going out Ulrich was very smug to the point Jeremy felt it was obnoxious and the two ended up clashing on the rule sheet.

Upon seeing the argument an amused Odd declared it a civil war before promised that he and Claire were on Ulrich’s side. Though agreeing to side Ulrich, Claire was quick to put Odd in his place on the manner.

#

_Gear Chronicle has the best Premium format decks in all of Cardfight Vanguard_ _._

_Oh you poor deluded soul, the true best deck format is the one and only Kagero._

_Nope, Nope that title goes to the Royal Paladins._

_Let’s set the record straight the title of best belongs to the one and only Link Joker._

Upon learning that that Cardfight Vanguard was splitting its card into premium and standard formats an argument erupted over which format deck was the best. Hiroki, Brighton, Tania, and Mohammed each took to the rule sheet to make their case and only the stare down Jean-Baptiste delivered to them prevented the argument from spreading. It was just as well for Jean-Baptiste is positive that he would trounced them all while explaining how his preferred clan of Gold Paladins had the best competitive deck.

#

_Playing dead won’t get you out of a detention._

There are times when Emily thinks people are simply desperate to get out a detention and others when she believes there is an unspoken game to one up other previous attempts to get out detention.

#

_The appropriate response to a fire drill is to follow directions and not cause havoc. The appropriate response will never ever be to start singing “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel or the “The Roof is on Fire” by the Bloodhound Gang._

_Cease calling your fellow students pyromaniacs, the last thing we need is for anyone to get any ideas._

_The Kadic Staff should have more faith in their students._

During a fire drill Julie, Sandra, and Ninon starting singing “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel which in turn caused Tristan, Pierre, James, Sarah and Jeremiah to start singing “The Roof is on Fire” by the Bloodhound Gang.

However all actions had consequences and the students in question referred to as pyromaniacs for a period of days. This in turn revealed how little faith Mrs. Meyers had in her students as she took to the rule sheet. The protests that erupted in the aftermath meant very little to her.

#

_There shall be no dog piles carried out on Kadic._

Taretha was vastly unamused to be at being dog pilled.

#

_The staff shall be informed of what caused the mystery of the voodoo doll shall._

_The Kadic Rule Sheet shall not be used to compel answers out of people._

_There shall no speculation on the love lives of the Kadic staff._

Jim has maintained an on and off curiosity about the nailed voodoo doll that started the cascade events that led to the establishment of rules. Thus when he overheard students gossiping it he figured the culprit was exposed in some manner. After his attempts to get the students to talk failed he took to the rule sheet.

In response Adele, mischief in her mind and soul, took the rule sheet causing her boyfriend to shoot an annoyed/betrayed look. While she meant it all in good fun, it didn’t stop a few students from declaring that there was trouble in paradise.

#

_Always go to sleep at a reasonable hour._

Kiwi had a restless night, which convinced the teachers that Ulrich and Odd were up late. Ulrich dealt with the rule in grace, Odd just rolled his eyes, and the student body still wonders how Kiwi hasn’t been caught yet.

#

_Do not set up game dating shows._

_Don’t bribe someone to go out with another person._

_Samantha Knight is forbidden from blackmailing anyone._

_Neutrality becomes discarded when you actively take amusement in another’s suffering._

_Do not get involved in another’s person love life unless they ask and “But it worked for Ulrich” doesn’t mean it can work for you!_

_Only death glare at people when they have actually earned and/or deserved it!_

Sissi’s grand plan to get Herb a girlfriend involved crafting a dating game show. However the very public avenue of it all ensured that even girls with a legitimate interest in Herb wouldn’t attend. Nicholas for his part merely tried bribing them to either join the game show or to give Herb a chance, Sam turned to blackmail to get people involved, and Heidi declared neutrality and enjoyed the show.

For his part Herb felt he was being extremely generous by strangling none of them. Ulrich thinks that the death glares Herb sends his way are extremely unfair since Sissi was planning her dating game show even before he realized that Claire liked Odd.

#

_When receiving detention the proper response is to accept it with grace, not jump to attention and demand a trial by combat._

After receiving detention Pierre demanded a trial by combat and while his classmates collapsed into laughter Mrs. Hertz wasn’t amused.

#

_When you noticed a pest control van parked nearby the proper response is to ignore it, not turn to your students and tell them they have come for them._

_When you see that a situation is bad don’t make it worse by crying. Despite what you claim you were not showing off your acting skills, but making a bad situation worse._

_Never claim that the students deserved it even if it’s true, especially when it’s true. There are devious children with way too much time on their heads._

_Students shall never receive detention for fake crying._

_Do not bribe someone to fake cry to see if it will enable them to get out of having to do homework._

As the field trip neared its end Mr. Fumet couldn’t help inform his students that the nearby pest control van was here for them. This is turn turned the ire of his students and a horrified museum tour guide began berating the history teacher earning attention. In the midst of this Nate Adam choose to demonstrate his incredibly acting skills by fake crying which drew even more attention.

In the end Mr. Fumet snapped that they deserved it, Principal Delmas had to deal with phone calls by the Museum staff who complained about Fumet’s behavior, and Nate suddenly found himself being bribed by classmates who wanted to see if his fake crying would get him out of homework.

#

_Being sick earns you sympathy and delay in turning in your work. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do your work._

A sick Fenris felt that he shouldn’t have to do his homework at all and Taretha was quick to point that it simply didn’t work out that way.

#

_When attempting to bribe someone make it more inciting._

_Don’t bribe anyone at all._

Felix sought to bribe Takuya only to get turned down as Takuya felt that pay out wasn’t worth the risk. In response to Takuya’s written rule, Rhonda felt the need to add her own opinion on the matter.

#

_When the teacher forgets to assign homework the last thing to do is bring attention to that fact._

_Mrs. Meyers is a horrible woman who plays on the emotions of her students._

When Mrs. Meyers didn’t assign homework a surprised and pleased Hiroki couldn’t comment on it. However far from being there no homework Mrs. Meyers simply spaced out it. With her mind jogged she issued it and earned Hiroki the side eye from his classmates.

Hiroki took the rule sheet and was honesty offended when Mrs. Meyers looked at the rule and just snorted.

#

_The proper response to receiving a gift is say “Thank you.”_

A smirking Mr. Klotz was seen giving Mr. Fumet a stress ball. In response Fumet actually threw the ball at Klotz before walking away and while Klotz just laughed, Jeremiah took to the rule sheet to educate his uncle on the rules of gift receiving.

#

_Always knock, always knock!_

_When your friend is traumatized the proper response is to comfort her not declare it karma._

Sissi went to visit her father only to catch him and girlfriend making out his desk. Much to Sissi’s outrage Herb, when he was informed of the incident, declared it karma.

#

_We’ve been over this The Mirror is banned from Kadic._

Nicole Weber was offended that despite her declare ban of the gossip rag the magazine still found its way into Kadic.

#

_There is no such thing as the Stone Cold effect._

_Clearly_ _someone hasn’t watched wrestling because there is._

April grew annoyed over Ashley, Danny, Leo talk of the Stone Cold effect and took to the rule sheet to make it known that the Stone Cold effect wasn’t a thing. In response to this Leo shot back to defend himself.

#

_There is no dark horror beneath Kadic._

_Kadic wasn’t built over an ancient cemetery._

_Kadic was never home to an ancient vampire coven. Vampires don’t exist._

Sometimes Mr. Chardin is curious on the students thought process and other times he honesty doesn’t want to know.


	49. Chapter 49

_A teacher should never look at his/her students and declare “No, I’m not dealing with this crap” and walk out of the classroom._

_The students are demons from the depths of hell that have escaped to torment humanity._

_The students are not hellspawn but simply teenagers who really should redirect their creative energies in better pursuits. Therefore the faculty is not to call them Satan’s children and the students need to stop trying to drive the teachers insane._

After the last of the seniors entered his classroom Mr. Fumet stood and said, “No, I’m not dealing with this crap” in response to fact that the entire class was in Cosplay. Jeremy, Aelita, and Herb were especially offended that it took five minutes for the teacher to come back into the classroom.

Uncaring of their offense Mr. Fumet took to the rule sheet to declare his class hellspawn in the most imaginative way possible. This turn caused Principal Delmas to make a declaration that stunned both the staff and the students.

#

_There is no wrong way to eat a Kit Kat bar._

_The song is “Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar”. Therefore the proper way to eat a Kit Kat bar is to break and then eat it!_

Instead of breaking his Kit Kat bar Takuya just decided to eat it all at once and was caught by Brighton in the act. Takuya subsequently became annoyed at the lecture Brighton gave him on the proper way to eat a Kit Kat.

#

_Don’t feed the fan girls and their ships._

Matthew and Thomas decided to Cosplay as Edward Elric and Roy Mustang and squealing of the fan girls at seeing Ed x Roy come to life were obnoxious.

#

_Shipping is very serious business._

Most people think the rule is a reference to the prior to the rule when the reality upon witnessing Nicholas and Heidi Cosplaying as Matt and Sora the Tai x Sora shippers marched them to their rooms.

#

_When cosplaying it’s important to be firm on whom exactly you are in order to prevent confusion._

The manner in which Ulrich Cosplayed as Zero from Code Geass put into question if he was Lelouch or Suzaku under the mask. Not helping manners was that there was evidence for and against either side, which was encouraged by Yannick in her Kallen Kōzuki Cosplay. Thus Tristan and Pierre took to the rule sheet in an effort to make him slip up and Ulrich ignoring the whole thing which a dramatic stoicism irritated them beyond measure.

#

_You are not the Scooby Doo gang, so stop looking for the ghosts, monsters, and no one stole the mystery machine, or kidnapped Scooby Doo._

The antics of Herb, Paul, Sam, and Sissi while amusing to some, were irritating to others.

#

_Don’t punch someone in the face for Cosplaying as a character you can’t stand!_

Upon seeing Jeremy Cosplaying as Kisuke Urahara from Bleach Jeremiah didn’t hesitate in punching him in the face. Jeremiah maintains the detention was worth it, Jeremy is nursing a black eye, and Aelita somehow stayed in character as Yoruichi by laughing at the sheer randomness of it all.

#

_You are not Groot, therefore speak normally._

_I am Groot?_

The teachers were impressed by Julien’s Groot Cosplay and grew annoyed when he stayed in character during class.

#

_You are not Team Rocket, Groot is not a Pokémon, and you can never steal your classmates._

_Do not refer to another student as being a twerp._

_Don’t be a killjoy and just enjoy the show._

Theo and Emily tried to steal Julien and were thwarted by the combined efforts of Julien and Alexandre. While the students enjoyed the show, Mrs. Meyers just found herself annoyed at the antics of the students.

#

_Forehead and Ino pig are dumb insults and you should be ashamed of using them._

Hiroki was thoroughly unimpressed by Magali’s and Naomi’s Cosplay.

#

_Deckard Kain didn’t accidently summon the Matriarch of the Blood Knights, the leader of the Nightborne and the Champion of the Horde to Kadic. As a matter of fact the three should be grateful that Leah was willing to help find a way home after their harassment of her uncle._

_The truth is open to all Hans Klotz has betrayed the faculty to the students._

Mr. Klotz, proving once again his cool guy status with the students, took to the real sheet to share his opinion about witnessing three of Azeroth’s heroes confronting the beloved scholar and his honorary niece. While Rosa joined the students in their humor, Mrs. Hertz decided to get back at the guidance counselors and branded him a traitor.

#

_Something being asymmetrical isn’t a big deal, so stop freaking out about it._

_Being symmetrical is perfection!_

_Don’t encourage the madness!_

With the encouragement of Sophie and Kelly Jean-Baptiste took to criticizing and agonizing over everything asymmetrical. While most took in grade, Milly didn’t appreciate being informed that her ears weren’t perfectly aligned and thus took to the rule sheet.

#

_Never speak of the pelvic sorcery._

_Certain topics shouldn’t be mentioned on the rule sheet._

The decision taken by Odd and Claire to act out the moment where Gamora learns about Footloose scene from Guardians of the Galaxy was actually pretty amusing for Adele up till that point it reached pelvic sorcery and then it became lot less funny when the scene in question included her one and only little brother.

Naturally the CPT was outraged that pelvic sorcery was mentioned on the rule sheet and felt the need to add their opinion to the matter.

#

Sometime after the Senior Cosplay prank the other students started showing up in their own Cosplay, in which Odd would only beam in pride as he declared, “Were trend setters.” However he suddenly stopped causing Claire to crash into him. She looked at around to see what caused him to stop and her eyes lit with at mirth at Ulrich being pestered by Tristan, Pierre, Ciel, and Fenris about which Zero he was during the Senior Cosplay prank.

“No, No, You are doing it wrong!” Odd suddenly snapped as he marched to a pair of students in Ladybug and Chat Noir Cosplay. To her shock he began to educate them on the best way to capture the essence of Chat Noir.

“Hey cat boy, cool your jets,” Ulrich called out causing to Odd snap back, “No one asked you Lelozuka!” “What?!” was the flabbergasted response most had to Odd’s come back, while Ulrich annoyed at the merging of Lelouch Suzaku growled“What is wrong you?” at his best friend.

“Copyright infringement,” was Odd’s reply which further confused them even as Ulrich snorted. “I’m surprised you know such a big word like infringement,” he couldn’t help but tease.

“Your mom likes my big words,” Odd grinned in reply realizing that he was being bit over dramatic about other people not getting Chat Noir right. However lost in his realization he missed Ciel paling and pulling Fenris with him and was tackled by an enraged Ulrich. Amidst his struggle as he fought of Ulrich giving him a noogie Odd called that he wanted a divorce.

_Resist the influence of your peers._

_Odd has weird ideas about copyright infringement._

_Never ever talk negative about Ulrich’s mom._

_You cannot divorce your friends._

In the aftermath of the Senior Cosplay prank the other students took to doing some Cosplaying of their own. The decision of many to Cosplay as Ladybug and Chat Noir took people by surprise as was Odd’s issue with those who failed to capture Chat Noir’s essence. His claims of copyright infringement surprised and confused them and made his closet friends sigh (Aelita), face palm (Ulrich), or stare him down (Jeremy).

In light of teasing he made the error of invoking a ‘your mom joke’ to Ulrich, which resulted his subsequent noogie. For from helping her boyfriend out his new plight Claire just laughed and decided to point that friends cannot divorce each other.

#

_Free is not too expensive._

Tamiya is convinced that Brighton just goes out of his way to get under her skin at times.

#

_If you must Cosplay as a Pokémon then do so as a Pokémon that can speak._

The teachers had even less amusement for this prank after the Julien/Groot fiasco and were quick to nip it in the bud.

#

_Someone liking a ship that you don’t doesn’t mean that drugs were involved in the creation of said ship. Furthermore if you suspect of someone of doing drugs then the proper response is to seek to help them and not ask them to share._

After Rhonda revealed that she felt that Tamiya and Brighton were a great fit for each other Felix asked what drugs she was on earning her ire. During the argument neither noticed Julie sneak upon and after she acquired the gist of the situation decided to butt in to ask share Rhonda to share the drugs.

#

_Having a horrible hair cut doesn’t give you right to wear your hat in class._

Needless to say Xavier plan to wear his hat to class in order to cover his bad haircut was put to a halt by his teachers.

#

_Don’t put saran wrap over the toilet seats._

The last thing James expected when he went to take a dump was to have to remove saran wrap before he could start his business. Unknown to James, Emilio was very disappointed that he had spent all that time saran wrapping all the toilets in the boys’ restroom for nothing.

#

_Kiwis are a very dumb fruit._

_Kiwis are not dumb fruits. As a matter fact Kiwis are the best of the fruit there is, it’s a fruit of nobility that deserves your respect._

Offended at being declared that he was Cosplaying as Chat Noir incorrectly Anton shot back at Odd by taking a dig at his gods. Odd was flabbergasted, the school staff was dumb founded by Anton’s remark and Odd’s defense of fruit and the rest of the student body is torn between declaring that the staff completely blind or acting like they are in denial with senior graduation so close. Those in the denial camp are further split between them simply not wanting to deal the fact that Odd broke the no pet rule and had many an accomplice and those who feel that the teachers are doing one last act of kindness for their soon to be former student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Raxius of FFN for suggesting Kiwi being insulted and to Flamelily274 of FFN for the Cosplay Prank and people acting like Ladybug and Chat Noir suggestions. 
> 
> On that note here is the list of who each senior cosplayed as:  
> Jeremy – Kisuke Urahara (Bleach)  
> Aelita – Yoruichi Shihoin (Bleach)  
> Odd – Peter Quill/Starlord (Guardians of the Galaxy)  
> Ulrich – Zero (Code Geass)  
> Sissi – Daphne (Scooby Doo)  
> Sam – Velma (Scooby Doo)  
> Herb – Fred (Scooby Doo)  
> Nicholas – Yamato “Matt” Ishida (Digimon)  
> Theo – James (Pokémon)  
> Emily – Jessie (Pokémon)  
> Tania – Adventurer (World of Warcraft)  
> Valerie – Lady Liadrin (Word of Warcraft)  
> Thiery – Thalyssra (Word of Warcraft)  
> Naomi – Ino Yamanaka (Naruto)  
> Yannick – Kallen Kōzuki (Code Geass)  
> Alexandre – Ash Ketchum (Pokémon)  
> Magali – Sakura Haruno (Naruto)  
> Claire – Gamora (Guardians of the Galaxy)  
> Paul – Shaggy (Scooby Doo)  
> Matthew – Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)  
> Jean-Baptiste – Death the Kidd (Soul Eater)  
> Heidi – Sora Takenouchi (Digimon)  
> Bastien – Deckard Cain (Diablo)  
> Sorya – Leah (Diablo)  
> Julien – Groot (Guardians of the Galaxy)  
> Thomas – Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)  
> Sophie – Liz Thomson (Soul Eater)  
> Kelly – Patty Thomson (Soul Eater)


	50. Chapter 50

_Never utter the phrase “oh my booty god” again._

Exactly why Nate Dunbar uttered oh my booty god is a manner of debate among his friends, but what is not in debate is how much Taretha detested the phrase and the fact that it constantly made Sissi erupt into giggles.

#

_Kiwis don’t smell and nor do they look like shaved moles, kiwis are awesome to the extreme._

_As a matter of fact Kiwis are the school mascot._

_Kiwis are magical._

In response to Ciel’s and Fenris’s comments about Kiwi an offended Odd took to the rule sheet and while the students find amusement in it, the teaching staff are surprised about Odd’s passionate defense of the fruit.

In a show of support Claire took to the rule sheet to declare Kiwi the school mascot. This naturally drew further confusion from the staff and Nate Adams is convinced that Kiwi is actually magical and that is why the staff has been ignorant about the dog living within the dorms.

#

_Just because someone disagrees with your OTP doesn’t mean that they are demonically possessed. Those who ship the two within your OTP with other people do not need to have holy water tossed on them._

_Always keep your priorities in check!_

_Shipping people who don’t truly belong with each other means that you have to get your head checked!_

After Rhonda accidentally let it slip she shipped Takuya and Brighton together, an outraged Ninon revealed her belief that Brighton should be shipped with Tamiya, causing the girl in question to be stunned into silence. Coming to her best friend’s defense Milly pointed out all the reasons why they wouldn’t work, which caused Sandra pointed out how they could work, Anouche then decided to jump in by defending Rhonda’s ship, and Julie to declare them all idiotic at best or possessed at worst.

Over hearing the conversation caused an amused Veronique pointed out the possessed needed to be dosed in holy water, while a gleeful Anne simply bolted off to inform the boys in question about how they were shipped together in order to see their reactions. This turn led to an annoyed Takuya declaring that he could so much better than Brighton. While an outraged Brighton focused on the idea of not being good enough for Takuya, Felix felt that the pair of them should prioritized the fact Rhonda and Anouche shipped them together and their antics could easily convince others to do the same.

And once the shock wore off Tamiya took to the rule sheet to share her opinion on being shipped with Brighton.

#

_Dressing up like The Nun is strictly forbidden. As a matter of fact dressing up like any other horror movie character is a guaranteed path towards to detention._

_There is a difference between dressing up like a Nun and The Nun._

_There is a difference between defending someone’s honor and vengeance._

_There must always be proof when accusing someone else of a crime._

Feeling mischievous Sam dressed as The Nun from movie of the same name and caused a brief panic with several students such as Jean- Baptiste, Herb, Sophie, and Xavier freaking out and caused Johnny, Hiroki, Sorya, and Aelita to suffer from panic attacks. When Sam naturally tried to protest the detention Mrs. Hertz gave her the teacher was quick to point why her defense wouldn’t work at all.

Sometime after Sam endured a panic attack of her own when she thought that Samantha from the Ring was coming out of her laptop. While she was quick to blame Jeremy, the young man just smirked and asked her what her proof was which impressed his fellow students and concerned his teachers.

#

_You cannot bribe your teachers in order to escape detention._

_When you get in trouble the last thing you want to do is make it worse. Therefore accept the punishment and move on._

_If you try to bribe someone at least have the decency to make it worth their while._

April and Ashley tried pulling their vast resources together and offered Mrs. Meyers a cash reward of $30 for forgoing the detention that she assigned them. Naturally Mrs. Meyers refused and issues them another detention for their antics. In response to this Danny felt that the need to point out that they should just accepted the detention and moved on and Leo was quick to chime with his opinion that the bribe simply wasn’t high enough to tempt their teacher.

#

**_ CODE K! _ **

_Going to the rule sheet has really become the habit._

The reaction from the student body was to immediately start looking around campus to the extreme confusion of Jim. Even as she left an eye open to spot Kiwi Yannick couldn’t help but comment about the fact that checking the rule sheet really had become the habit.

#

_Don’t barge into the showers!_

Mohammed didn’t appreciate his relaxing afternoon shower being disturbed by Pierre and Tristan barging in the boy’s shower like maniacs. The fact that Kiwi had escaped only briefly made the boy forgive the other two before he got dressed to join the search.

#

_Don’t ruin proposals._

Thomas didn’t appreciate his proposal to Matthew being interrupted by Paul shrieking about how everyone was going to get into trouble since Kiwi was on the loose. In response the newly engaged couple declared that they didn’t care and decided to celebrate in private.

#

_Be mindful of when a situation will actually requires climbing trees._

Emily questions exactly how Theo’s thought process works and Alexandre is of the firm opinion that Theo simply tried to use Kiwi as poorly thought excuse to climb a tree.

#

_The students have not become weirder; they have simply discarded the illusion of maturity and sanity that they have shown us._

After learning that Emilio, Lola, and Anton were looking in the bushes, Nicholas and Heidi had peaked in trash cans, and Sherry, Jeremiah, James, and Sarah had taken to peaking into classrooms Rosa voiced concern that the students were acting weirder than normal only to have Mr. Fumet voice his firm opinion on the matter. Unbeknownst to the students Mr. Klotz tried to object but ended up collapsing into laughter midway.

#

_Believing something is one thing, suspecting something is one thing, and knowing something is another._

This is Adele’s defense to the realization that Odd may or may not have actually brought Kiwi to Kadic instead of leaving him at home.

#

_One should never demand somebody else should shave their head bold._

Upon catching sight of Kiwi and Mr. Chardin within distance of each other Bastien made the sacrifice play to ensure that Ulrich, Odd, Julien, and Magali could move forward. Luckily for Bastien Mr. Chardin was more flabbergasted than offended and wasn’t petty enough to give him a detention.

#

_Those who intentionally scare the person responsible for their health must clearly think about all the consequences beforehand._

_The Hippocratic Oath ensures that a most lovely nurse would never let a patient suffer._

As Kiwi picked up his pace those in pursuit were forced to discreetly put up their own. However their caution allowed for a distracted Yolanda to nearly stumble about Kiwi. Thus Julien and Magali made the decision to scream behind her as to gain her focus. While it ensured that Yolanda’s attention was elsewhere Odd was rather vexed at losing two for the price of one.

Meanwhile Yolanda, after she got her bearings, was quick to enlighten the two of them of the risks that they have opened themselves up to. To the nurse’s amusement Julien seemed stunned into silence Magali was quick to turn to flattery.

#

_The student body gives themselves too much credit._

_Never call an old person old._

Catching Odd softly calling Kiwi Ms. Weber inquired as to what he was doing and while Odd was grateful for Kiwi ignoring him for once he had no idea as how to respond. Luckily for him Tania, Valeria, and Thiery quickly stepped in attempted to craft a bullshit story. However the office secretary was rather suspicious of them and Valeria pointed out that if they were going lie it would be better done. Nicole merely responded with, “You would think so,” and of course Odd decided at that moment to declare that, “Only old people are so untrusting.”

Needless to say the foursome was quick to receive a detention and fled to escape further wrath.

#

_The strength of the King of the North is absolute. The will of the Winter Majesty cannot be denied. All rejoice in the Wolf God’s might. All Hail Ulrich Gavin Stern the Tenth!_

To the shocked glee of everyone Ulrich was able to captured Kiwi, secure the dog, and make the trek back to his dorm room without being caught. It was most impressive because at one point Ulrich had to maneuver himself so that he ended up behind Principal Delmas to ensure that he Kiwi wouldn’t be noticed. In light of that its honesty a very good that Delmas has no idea to know why praise towards Ulrich has been established on the rule sheet.

#

_Truly any moment can be the spark that leads to romance._

A week days after the infamous Code-K Julien and Magali announced that they were in a relationship with one another. This in turn caused Naomi and Kelly to declare that any moment can be the spark that leads to romance as both firmly believed their shared experience in possibility incurring Yolanda’s wrath about them together.

#

“ _Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic,  
It’s time!_

_ Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ We love defenestration,  
There’s just something,  
Something magical,  
About tossing someone out the window. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic. _

_ Look left,  
Look right,  
Look around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Our sacred halls,  
Where fair maidens reside,  
Where noble gentlemen sleep,  
Oh Kadic. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic. _

_ Look left,  
Look right,  
Look around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ We love naughty things,  
It's the fact that,  
That can't be denied,  
No matter how hard you try. _

_ Naughty things,  
Naughty Things,  
Naughty things. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ We serve the one True King,  
It’s so very true,  
We pledge ourselves to His Majesty,  
We can’t lie nor deny,  
All hail the Wolf God. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ We love defenestration,  
There’s just something,  
Something magical,  
About tossing someone out the window. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ We love naughty things,  
It's the fact that,  
That can't be denied,  
No matter how hard you try. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Grab your partner,  
Give a twirl,  
Give a whirl,  
Within our sacred halls. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Our sacred halls,  
Belong to the King in the North,  
His majestic majesty the Winter Emperor,  
All stand and praise the Wolf God. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ We love defenestration,  
We love Naughty Things,  
All hail Kadic’s true lord. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Oh Kadic,  
Farewell thy school. _

_ We won’t forget the laughs,  
We shall remember chaotic fun,  
We will never forget the bonds forged within,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
We love defenestration,  
We love Naughty Things,  
We love our memories. _

_ Oh Kadic,  
Look left,  
Look right,  
Look all around,  
Our sacred halls. _

_ Oh Kadic,   
Oh Kadic,   
Farewell lovely Kadic,   
Farewell lovely Kadic.” _

#

_The seniors ending the year with a song doesn’t have to be a thing._

_Alas the seniors ending the year with a song absolutely has become a thing._

Though inwardly fond of the song Principal Delmas felt the need the need point that the Senior Song didn’t have to be a theme and was soundly rejected by the juniors.

#

_Graduating from Kadic means when one door closes another door opens. Always keep your head raised high as you seek out your dreams._

Before the last day was done Mr. Klotz put one last rule sheet for the outgoing students.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To start as always the specials thanks to those who inspired rules this chapter. Thus a special thanks to FFN's Raxius for the rule about Kiwi being insulted and the graduating Kadic means one door closes another door opens, to TheGoldenYoshichu of FFN about demonic possession accusations within the pairings madness, and FFN's Teen-Lyokofan7777 for the dressing up like The Nun to cause students to freak out, Aelita to have a panic attack, and “The Nun” to receive detention.
> 
> I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had making it.


End file.
